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2000

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95% of the year's events were correctly predicted by Conan O'Brien.
The humans are dead

Flight of the Conchords on 2000

Timeline
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Before Christ
1000–1699
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1946
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1970
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1984 (a) (b) (c) (d)
1989
1990s (a)
1992
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1994
1995
1996
1997 (a)
1998
1999
2000–2099
2000s **
2000 (a)
2001 (a) (b)
2003
2005 (a) **
2006 **
2007 **
2008 (a) **
2009
2010 (a) **
2011
2012 **
2013
2017
2018
2020 (a) (b)

2000 (M&M) was a leap year that started on Saturday of the Common Era, in accordance with the Gregorian calendar.

Popular culture holds the year 2000 as the first year of the 21st century and the third millennium. Popular culture is also stupid. In real life the year 2001 was the first year in the 21st century. This is, of course, because the first century started with 1. There was no year 0, and you are stupid for even thinking there was.

The Year 2000 in the World

January

Seriously, he was very close.

February

March

April

6-year-old boy, guns not stuck to.

May

  • May 4 - The ILOVEYOU virus hits businessmen around the world. It causes them to inexplicably tell their secretaries "I love you," which often results in sexual intercourse. The virus stops abruptly after two weeks when their wives call bullshit on the whole thing.
  • May 20 - Chinese president Chen Shui-bian makes the "Four will have Noses, and but One will be Without" pledge to a Chinese population with growing fears about child deformities.

June

  • June 17 - After years of ignoring the blight, God finally tries to rid the world of Iceland by causing an earthquake to strike on their "national day."
  • June 21 - Scotland repeals law forbidding the promotion of one's own homosexuality. God warns Scotland, "You're next."

July

  • July 15 - The St. Louis Rams defeat the Tennessee Titans in the Hopscotch Championships when Scotcher Kevin Dyson leaves one foot out of his last square.
  • July 21-23 - G-8 nations hold their 26th annual "Power Summit". The issues they talk about are AIDS (and how to spread it), the 'digital divide' (and how to make it grow), and eating the world's poorer countries out of existence by 2015.

August

  • August 8 - The Confederate submarine H.L. Hunley raises to the surface after 136 years on the ocean floor. The crew is greatly disappointed by what they see, and return the sub to the bottom of the ocean.
  • August 12 - After hearing rumors of the H.L. Hunley, the Russian submarine K-141 Kursk decides to follow their lead, and sinks to the bottom of the sea. 118 crew members are lost.

September

"I mean, obviously. How is this not a thing that we have?" - Uncyclopedia
  • September 5 - Tuvalu joins the United Nations. Members of Uncyclopedia are shocked to find that Tuvalu does not have its own article.
  • September 16 - The former president of Peru calls for a new election in which he will not run, and therefor cannot lose. Bob Dole follows suit, asking for a new election to be held on November 7, and for the American people to forget he ever ran. The American people proactively agree to Dole's request by, 3 years prior, forgetting he ever existed.
  • September 26 - The Pacifists in Prague rally turns violent when one internet blogger calls them "Uber Ghey."

October

November

December

  • December 12 - The St. Louis Rams defeat the Tennessee Titans in a height competition when Titans tall-man Kevin Dyson comes up one foot short of the tall-man from the Rams.

Births

No one important, that's for sure.

Deaths

Abe Vagoda. He's probably dead, right?


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