October 23: D&D Empowerment Day, a day to let go of your guilt and shame for having played Dungeons & Dragons as a child (or still), and instead reflect upon how it's changed you for the better; National Whack-a-Mole Day (US and Japan).
“It says: With this strength or lower I can only be a Magic User. Re-roll!”
~ Oscar Wilde
- 33 - Jesus creates D&D, the Romans crucify him for this and buries the game where it is found 1900 years later.
- 1966 - International Federation of the Friendless is formed by Gary Gygax and other near-do-wells.
- 1969 - While others are busy engaged in the Summer of Love, Gary Gygax and Friends are busy making their own chainmail armour out of plastic plumbing washers.
- 1970 - Dave Arneson creates a scenario involving an adventure through a castle sewer, in quest of the legendary change room of maidens in waiting. Later arrested for being a peeping tom. Judge was unmoved by his plea that he was doing important game research.
- 1971 - Gary Gygax and Dave Arneson team up to create "The Fantasy Game." Monsters are substituted for maidens, and mountains of loose change for changerooms.
- 1974 - TSR publishes the now-renamed Dungeons & Dragons® game by slapping homemade labels over used cereal boxes. In one year, the entire hand-assembled print run of 1,000 games sells out.
- 1979 - Ozzy Osbourne is chosen as official spokesman, eventually appearing in a commercial where he bites the head off of a Basilisk.
- 1984 - You realise with horror that the phrase "Uncursed +1/+1 Dark Dwarven Mithril Battle-Axe of Imperviousnicity" no longer sounds completely ridiculous to you.
- 1985 - Everyone starts referring to bottles of water as "Potions of Thirst Obviation" and dictionaries as "Tomes of Acquired Word Definition."
- 2003 - The first woman to play D&D is later discovered to be a shemale .
- 2005 - You catch your wife in bed with another man, but later discover she was just earning 50 experience points with a Helmet of Protection +6.
- 2584 - First D&D player in history gets laid thanks to the lucky roll of a natural 20.
- 3000 - Roughly 500 years after the first D&D player got laid his great, great, great, great grandson becomes Supream Dungeon Master of earth.
- 5000 - the world's first jock plays D&D and becomes D&D master of the universe and all that are contained inside it after beating up Supream Dungeon Master of earth