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- 625 - Pope Boniface V eaten by a blue shark.
- 1147 - The Portuguese, under Afonso I, and Crusaders from England conquer Lisbon after a four-month siege. They decide to celebrate by going for a swim, and then all get eaten by tiger sharks.
- 1655 - Shark arrives from the future, is promptly killed by puzzled Welshman.
- 1936 - The Rome-Berlin Axis is created by Adolf Hitler, Benito Mussolini, and a bunch of great white sharks (the sharks wanted to ally with Hitler, because they were great white supremacists).
- 1946 - The secret vote was held by the British parliament to enact the 1946 Gay and Lesbian Slavery Act
- 1977 - Renegade child eats dozens of sharks at Miami Beach. Panicked King Tritan declares State of Emergency and suspends Civil Liberties.
- 1979 - Green Peace activist dies after trying to train the first vegetarian shark.
- 1988 - The Gardners are cloned
- 1993 - Vincent Price dies.
- 1994 - Vincent Price's tomb found empty and a series of bizarre murders occur. Sharks are prime suspects.
- 1997 - Charge of the White Van Men an infamous fight during the Battle of Balaclava
- 2006 - All travel to Australia banned; shark eats young child at beach.
- 2007 - Jim Toomey, writer of the comic strip Sherman's Lagoon, is given honorary Cambodian citizenship.
- 2008 - (Morning) I could not find my keys. Sharks were to blame.
- 2008 - (Afternoon) It was discovered that I forgot they were on the table. Sharks were to blame.
- 2008 - (Evening) The goddamn car wouldn't start. An alliance of sharks and malicious little green men is to blame.