Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/April 22

April 22: National Try To Assassinate The President Day (U.S.)

• 1609 - Council of Antes declares that peas will henceforth be eaten with a fork.
• 1882 - First obscene phone call made, crude equipment mandates heavy breathing when careless whispers can not be heard.
• 1962 - Lee Harvey Oswald (Pictured) fucks up first attempt to kill JFK so badly the attempt goes unnoticed until 1986, when a remodeling crew fixes the bullet hole.
• 1970 - The Partridge Family thinks it loves you, but what is it so afraid of?
• 1981 - A second failed assassination attempt on Ronald Reagan takes place, the shooter's motive being Reagan's films which the shooter declared, "sucked".
• 2002 - WWE star Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson invents the ability to refer to himself in the fifth person.
• 2022 - Darth Vader gets his voice box fixed after decades of agony.
• 2024 - Jimmy Blackman is the first person to ever smell what the rock is cooking.

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