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- ∞ BC - Time begins, to the disappointment of trillions.
- 1353 - Badger maulings reach record levels in Europe.
- 1704 - The first regular newspaper is published in America: The Boston New-Letter, containing overly-opinionated columns and hyped-up headlines. Circulation soars.
- 1856 - The word chairman is introduced to the Oxford English Dictionary as "A person with a proclivity to stand sitting."
- 1862 - The American Civil War on spelling begins, the letter 'u' in 'color' being the first victim.
- 1995 - The most amazing child on earth was born, sadly, he was born in Croatia.
- 2005 - George W. Bush declares, "America is officially full," all immigrants rerouted to Nunavut.