Nunavut
| Den selvstyrende regien de prægtige Mennesker's Republic af Nunavut | |
 You tell me. |
 The lost land of Nunavutia. |
| Motto | "Where?" |
| Official languages | English, Klingon, Viking, French, Silly native tongues |
| Government | - Democratic Socialism |
| Capital | IQaLot |
| Largest city | Kaqsukingmutturfuq |
| Demographic | Pop. -15 000 |
| Religion | Anglicism, Klingonism, Silly native traditions |
| National anthem | "Don't Touch the Yellow Snow!" |
| Natural Resources | Snow, Former Britons who like freezing, Silly natives |
| Official Cuisine | Snow, Ice (Cream), Crabs, Gasoline |
| Queen | Elizabeth II |
| Prime Minister | No one cares because it's Canada... |
| Area | Norther than North of the USA. |
| Motto | "Nunavut? I'll have Nunavut (see what we did there?)." |
| Currency | Snow |
| National Sport | Snowball Fights |
| National Products | Snow (As if you didn't know), The World's 24th best ice |
| Exports | Snow, Prison Labour |
| Imports | Gasoline (Primarily from Al-Berta and Saudi Arabia), Snow (Main trading partner: the sky) |
| Fun Fact | 93.6% of Americans have never heard of Nunavut. 71.3% of the world will say that they do just so they aren't associtated with the 93.6% of Americans. |
“Oh, look. I seem to be quoting on Nunavut.”
“I thought it was all...just...Canada.”
“Huh?”
“Oh, that place”
“We were there first!”
Nunavut is apparently a province in Canadia. Not that I would know...I'm just doing this report for extra credit. Mrs. Holford is a bitch! Oops, better erase that so I don't get expelled after I turn this in. I'll just look up everything I need on Wikipedia...after all, I can trust them. Unlike Susie, that FUCKING BITCH-WAD!!! Argh, I keep writing stuff that just pops into my head. Sorry Mrs. Holford! you fucking old-ass bitch.
Humble Beginnings[edit | edit source]
Okay, according to Wikipedia, Nunavut has been inhabited for 4000 years...historians identify it with Helluland... mumble mumble... Well! I'm bored! Aren't you? You must be, considering how BO-RING Nunavut and Wikipedia are. I wonder how the dudes who founded Nunavut didn't, like, die of boredom after they made it. Or whatever. I bet combined, they form some, like, really cool super-thing, like, uh, Captain Boring! Yeah, that's really cool, right? I can see it now..."Look up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's...Nunavut?" Oh crap! I forgot about Nunavut! Um...lemme just make up something real quick...
How doe this sound?
The Invasion[edit | edit source]
It was a dark day in City, the capital of the Whocaresian Empire in 600000000 BC, when Queen Nothingia called in the Super Robot Monkey Team Hyper Force to invede the restless colony of Nunavut. The monkeys obliged, and invaded Nunavut in earnest, which later became a province of Canada, AKA Noonecaresstan. THE END!
What...?[edit | edit source]
Yes, that's perfect! I mean, it's, like, totally believable, right? Stupid Mrs. Holford will never know the difference. I'm not gonna erase that last sentence, either, because I don't care what Mrs Holford thinx because I am a fuking genious.
The Empire Strikes Back[edit | edit source]
Yes, and after the SRMTHF successfully colonized Nunavut, they betrayed the Whocaresian Empire and started a revolution to free Nunavut (and Canada) from The Empire's control in 464315 AD. But the Empire had a vast military superiority and much better weapons. So, how did they become free you ask? They didn't! That's why those Canadians are still a part of the British Empire and we are the freedom patriots! It's also why all Canadians are ugly like monkeys.Oooooh!!! I went there, didn't I? Stupid Canucks, having Nunavut that I need to do an extra credit report on.
Oh and you can't argue with me because I am a fuking genious and am therefore right.
[edit | edit source]
Umm...there's snow. And ice. In fact, Nunavut's ice was rated the 24th best ice in the world! How would one go about rating that? Do they, like, lick the ice or something? LOL I said lick. Get it? Like, I said lick, and you can lick a penis...hehe, I said penis. I am a fuking genious!
Weather[edit | edit source]
The normal temperature there is -30C degrees in the winter, while it is -12C in the summer. (Unfortunately, this is most likely due to the fact that thermometers have an obnoxious tendency to malfunction in Nunavut's climate. In reality, the climate is likely much colder.)
Demographics[edit | edit source]
As of the 2006 Census the population of Nunavut was -15 000,[2] with -12540 people identifying themselves as Inuit (83.6% of the total population), -51 as First Nations (0.34%), -66 Métis (0.44%) and -22 as non-aboriginal (14.96%).[18] However, on a daily basis, the population decreases drastically, as the Inuit exhibit suicidal tendencies. The population is expected to reach zero by 2021 (this is similar to the situation in Greenland). Interestingly, the Census also found that the average Nunavut family has 27 cans of gasoline (12 for the parents, 8 for the children, 6 for guests, and sometimes 1 for the car). The most popular method of consumption is inhalation via a nasal straw. Rebellious Native youths sometimes inhale straight from the can, or may even ingest via other orifices (mouth, navel, vagina, etc.).This, however, is not generally condoned by village elders.
