John Joseph Caldwell Abbott

“What the hell is a riding?”

~ John Abbott on elections

“Sometimes I forget that I was Prime Minister too. ”

~ John Abbott on Canadian history text books

The Other John A.

Rank	3rd or 45th, depending on who you ask.
Predecessor	The Druken Master (This is not true)
Successor	John the Lesser
Date of Birth	33 AD
Place of Birth	A little village in the South of France
Spouse	John Joseph Abbott
Political party	Evil
Period in Office	1891 to the year after

Early Life

John Abbott, stage name Jennifer Tightbuns, was born in Southern France to his parents, John and John Abbott, who both died of West Nile after his birth. He was forced to live with his dirt farming millionaire uncle, who whipped him daily and only fed him the finest cuts of steak. It was a horrible childhood. He totally sympathized with the working class folk, and despised their Imperial over-lords, who "...just didn't GET IT, man", in his own words.

Arrival to Canada

March 23^rd, 1878. He was then elected to the Canadian House of Commons because he beat his opponent, Liberal Paul Martin, in a drinking contest. Seriously he could drink a polar bear under the table, and did so on numerous occasions to the confusion of parliament.

Results: John Abbott: 94 Molsons Paul Martin: 33 Buds

Prime Mininster

John Abbott was a great man, seriously I am not kidding. He did more for Canada than anyone can ever truly realize, mostly because all the evidence of this has been destroyed largely due to the fact that it didn't exist in the first place.

In History

John Abbott is remembered by all (more specifically by none) as the countries greatest Prime Mininster after John A. Macdonald and between Gordon Lightfoot*. This is seen to be quite an accomplishment. He is on the Canadian $37 bill.

He is also the father of Roger Abbott, the bald guy off of Royal Canadian Air Farce, the guy who thinks he is Jean Chretien.

• Serious fact-checking needed.

|- style="text-align: center;" | width="30%" |Preceded by:
John A. Macdonald | width="40%" style="text-align: center;" |Prime Minister of Canada
1891 to 1892 (around 3 months) | width="30%" |Succeeded by:
John Sparrow David Thompson

Canada, eh? Places: Alaska • Aquadia • Atlantis • British California • Cape Breton • Delta • Deadmonton • Florida • Manisnowba • Some Parts of Michigan • Montreal • Nouveau Brunswick • New Scotland • Northworst Territories • Celine Dion • NunavOOt • Ontariariario • Ottawa • Prince Edward Island • Québec and the City • Regina • St. Pierre and Miquelon • Sasquatchewan • Sasquatchatoon • Saudi Oilberta • Surrey • Toronto • Vancouver • The Territory of Yukon Territory Culture: Air Canada • CBC • Canadian Bacon • beer • Cougars • Killer moose • Caribou • Colour • FLQ • Hockey • Silly football • Ice bowling • Poutine • Ram Ranch • Sheep made out of snow • Studebaker Lark • Timmies • My sojourn • People who, like, live in igloos eh? • Canadians: A Retrospective People: Alanis • Avril • Bieber • Bigfoot • Caillou • Deadpool • Drake • Kris Wu • Jack Black • Mickey Mouse • Rodney McKay • Rush • Peter North • Scott Pilgrim • Someone you may have heard of, only for a couple of years • The Weeknd • Van Buren • Vic Toews Politics: A Day in the Life of the Prime Minister • Conservative Party of Canada • Conservative Reform Alliance Party • Liberal Party of Canada • New Democratic Party • Communist Party of Canada • Canadian Elections • Canadian Constitutional Law • Canada-US relations • We stand on guard for thee Prime Ministers: Abbott • Borden • Campbell • Chrétien • Clark • Diefenbaker • Harper • King • Laurier • Martin • Meighen • Mulroney • Pearson • Thompson • P. Trudeau