|Lester B. Pearson
|Date of Birth
|October 18, 1920
|Date of Death
|September 28, 2000
|Place of Birth
“I'm actually just the greatest person in the history of everything. No, really! Ask Lennon, or my son, or Canadians with vaginas, or even Lenin.”
“I'm the kind of G the little homies want to be like. Been spending most my life living in a gangster's paradise.”
Pierre Elliott Trudeau was the prime minister of Canada and self proclaimed Emperor of the North. As per Canadian custom, Trudeau won the position of Prime Minstrel after winning all four WWE championship belts, -although his Snackdown victory is disputed because the referee was knocked unconscious for a period of time and did not witness Trudeau employing several illegal moves. After his death, he was proclaimed 'eternal great leader of chickens', and all others were banned from ever again holding any of his titles.
Trudeau was noted for his flamboyant nature, and often engaged in such whimsical actions as Break dancing in the parliament, and snorting cocaine. Canadians affectionately referred to him as PET, for his habit of petting women half his age.
Upon his death, Trudeau's son Justin tried to claim the Canadian throne, but was unable to overcome partisans loyal to Ben Mulroney. Justin continues to plot in exile in hopes of bringing the Sith back to power and building a second Death Star.
Early life[edit | edit source]
The issues of Trudeau's birth are hotly disputed, though the official story maintains that he was spawned on Mt. Trudeau in the late 19th Century to double rainbows. As a young man, he dreamed of one day leading Canada to a shining future, and also of being naked in a supermarket where all the other shoppers are gorillas.
A socialist intellectual, he avoided service in World War II, and there are some accounts that he rode around on a motorcycle, and actively conspired with Farmer Jones to put down the animals' revolution.
In 1963, he was installed as Canada's leader. All records of how or why this happen have been purged, as 'Year Zero' was proclaimed, with all history that occurred pre-Trudeau being declared an enemy of the people.
War Measures Act[edit | edit source]
Trudeau used the War Measures Act in 1970 to allow him to arrest anyone anywhere at any time. His first act was to put lawn gnomes all over the Bell Centre (Canada's 'white house'), then he built a large sulpture of a Q-tip which is also used as a hockey arena for Canada's national team, The Mighty Ducks. With the act in place, Trudeau was on top of the world, and celebrated by smiting Yogi Bear, thus making him have the power to love. He also ran a tank through a beaver dam, thus creating the Trudeau River that acts as Canada's main transportation route. Just watch him!
Favourite word[edit | edit source]
- Fuddle Duddle
It is not what you think you heard ... and has nothing to do with firetruck, so remember kids; that messing with peoples heads on the internet is fun.
See also[edit | edit source]
|- style="text-align: center;" | width="30%" |Preceded by:
Lester B. Pearson | width="40%" style="text-align: center;" |Prime Minister of Canada (first time)
1968-1979 | width="30%" |Succeeded by: