Portal:Music

Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Music portal By far the most david bowie stanning portal you will ever find. CATEGORIES:  Albums - American Idol - Bands - Compositions - Culture - Featured Music Articles - Genres - Geography - History - Music Industry - Music Technology - Music Theory - Musical Composition - Musical Instruments - Musicals - Musicians - Singers - Songs - UnTunes - Women in Music - Wonderwall -  - All...

To understand music, we must first understand sound. Sound is an ingredient used to make tuna casserole. (It is disputed whether sound is sweet or savory.) Sound is alive. The hills are alive with it. Just ask Julie Andrews. She loves the sound of farting.

I love music. Sweet or savory music. Any kind of music. As long as it's groovy. And rock - it has to be rock....and it has to be straight....and it has to be from San Francisco...no wait, I don't like music. I hate music. It sounds like my dog farting. Really eggy. I'm more of a cat person.

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Highlighted Article

Ronnie James Dio's Big Book of Nursery Rhymes

Good night, sleep tight, and don't let the Dark Lord and scores of his fiery disciples from the nether realm feast upon your immortal soul forevermore.

Ronnie James Dio (born July 10, 1942, in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, USA), is a heavy metal vocalist, 42nd level magic user, midget rights activist, and children's author. When he's not recording, touring, or being fired from or rejoining Black Sabbath (or Rainbow), he's reviewing student applications at the Ronnie James Dio Institute of Lyrical Technology. And, when he's not doing that, he's busy penning another kiddie classic in his tireless pursuit of a Newbery Medal.  (more...)

Article Credit: Todd Lyons

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Music in the News

Listen to audio (file info)

Lars Ulrich to join Alvin and the Chipmunks

At 11:43 last night, authorities were called to a home in California, where Theodore Seville, the drummer of Alvin and the Chipmunks, was found overdosed on a mixture of cocaine and sherbert. He was treated in hospital and discharged this morning, but his bandmates were furious and immediately fired him. In a statement, Simon said that "We have always been proud of having no drugs in this band, to the point where we refused to go on tour with The Jonas Brothers. For Theodore to undermine that is disgusting."  (more...)

Article Credit: Zombie gerbil

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Featured Image

Hang the DJ!

A belated favour for Morrissey.

Image Credit: Todd Lyons

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Featured Artist

Nancy, the fetching young lady who inspired the creation of Rock and Roll.(Courtesy of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, color tinted tintype circa 1894))]

Giant Jew Band

The Giant Jew Band was a group of five extremely energetic and talented Jewish musicians who invented Rock and Roll in 1894, six decades before the musical form went mainstream.

"In their time the Giant Jew Band was bigger than the Beatles," said the Rolling Stone cover story upon the 1977 death of Morrie Abrahamson, the band's last surviving member, "at least in the rural backwoods of Southwestern Maine. Few people still remember the group, but Little Richard, Chuck Berry, Buddy Holly and all of the other 1950s Rock 'pioneers' trace their roots right back to these rural backhills Jewboys, and gave them proper credit during their lifetimes." This is their story.  (more...)

Article Credit: Aleister

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Lyric of the Week

“No, I'm not a stranger Look! I have an umbrella!”

— From the UnTunes song: You can stand under my umbrella (you can also feel my antenna)

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Featured UnTunes

UnTunes

PLAY>MP3

Middle-Aged Suburban White Guy Rap

Featuring the smooth vocal stylings of "DJ" Daryl Dipstick & Doofus.

Daryl: Word!
Doofus (in wimpy nasal): Sure, I got Word. Excel, Powerpoint, the whole office suite. <snort>
Daryl: Would you shut up, homie? I’m trying to throw down some tough rhymes here.
Doofus: Sorry. So, what does Word, mean?
Daryl: I don’t know - it’s just something they say. Now shut up or you’re fired! Uhm, I’ve got to get my groove on, or get in touch with my inner child, or something. Hmmm… wait… I got one!    (more...)

Musical Credit: Tooltroll

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Recent Articles in Music

UnTunes:No cucumbers • UnTunes:Piña Coladatown • UnTunes:Grill on fire • UnNews:Dave Mustaine is running for president • UnReviews:Wall-E (music video) NSFW • American Pie • Giant Jew Band • UnTunes:Troops on the Ground • In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida • I Am the Walrus • UnTunes:Confessions of a Telemarketer • UnTunes:Ur So Phat and you don't even like food • HowTo:Write Colin Meloy Lyrics • Industrial metal • Emo Rap • Article not about Beyonce • UnBooks:Great Abridged Pop Songs  • UnTunes:I Will Possess Your Log • UnBooks:Frédéric Chopin's Guide to Better Lawn Care • MC Hammer/Lyrics • Music rating system • Slim Shady Algorithm • UnNews:My guitar solo isn't fresh enoughDubstep • Skrillex

pop music:  Björk • Backstreet Boys • The Beatles • The Beach Boys • Dead or Alive • King Crimson • The Monkees

prog rock:  Emerson, Lake & Palmer • King Crimson • The Kinks • Pink Floyd • Porcupine Tree • Rush • Soundgarden • Yes

hard rock/heavy metal:  AC/DC • Aerosmith • Allison Chains • Black Sabbath • Cannibal Corpse • The Crash • The Dorkness • Def Leppard • Poo Fighters • Grateful Dead • Guns N' Roses • Heaven & Hell • Helmet • Inane Clown Pusse • Led Zeppelin • Nightwish • Queen • Pearl Jam • R.U.M. • The Rolling Stones • Spinal Tap • Stryper • Three Days Grace • The Whom • The Yardbirds

alternative rock/punk rock:  AFI • Blur • Dashboard Confessional • Good Charlotte • Green Day • My Chemical Romance • NOFX • Panic! at the Disco • Sex Pistols • The Smashing Pumpkins • Weezer • Whiny Emo Band

Classical Music:  Beethoven • Mozart

misc.:  Deep Purple • The Cult • Blue Man Group • Wyld Stallyns

musicians:  Eric Clapton • John Bonham • Ronnie James Dio • John Entwistle • Billy Joel • Nick Jonas • Geddy Lee • Alex Lifeson • Paul McCartney • John Myung • Ted Nugent • Ozzy Osbourne • Jimmy Page • Neil Peart • John Petrucci • Jordan Rudess • Patrick Stump • Tiny Tim • Jethro Tull • Steve Vai • Gerard Way • Amy Winehouse • Frank Zappa

rappists:  Eminem • Dr. Dre • Tupac Shakur

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Musical Articles by Genre

Classical	Country / Folk
50 Mozart Andrew Lloyd Webber Canon Claude Debussy Classical guitar Conductor Hochkonjunktur, bumste ich sie verlobtes... Leonard Bernstein Ludwig van Beethoven Opera Orchestra Philip Glass Stephen Sondheim More...	Cat Stevens Creedence Clearwater Revival Hank Williams HowTo:Write a Country Song Texas Jewboys Carrie Underwood Taylor Swift Brad Paisley More...

Genres of Music	Hip Hop / Rap
The blues Folk Music Heavy Metal Industrial Metal Liberal Democrat black metal Music radio Progressive rock Psychedelic music Punk Reggae Rock musicals Stupid music More...	Emo Rap Fat Joe Gangster rap Hammurabi Hip Hop HowTo:Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it Kanye West The Life of MC Hammer Ol' Dirty Bastard The Notorious B.I.G. Tupac Shakur More...

Jazz	Popular / R&B
Dog Fart Trombone Jazz Hands John Tesh Louis Armstrong Michael Bolton Miles Davis Muddy Waters Saxophone More...	Aretha Franklin Britney Spears Chris Brown Cyndi Lauper James Brown Janet Jackson Jennifer Lopez Nelly Furtado Phil Collins Prince and the Revolution Rihanna XTC More...

Rock (General)	Other Musical Articles
Bad Religion Blondie Cream (band) The Cure Dave Mustaine David Bowie Fields of the Nephilim The Flaming Lips Foo Fighters Fugazi Grateful Dead Kurt Cobain Led Zeppelin Oasis The Rolling Stones Sex Pistols Simon and Garfunkel Slayer Ted Nugent Tom Petty U2 More...	A-ha Björk Courtnology Disturbed DEVO Frank Zappa HowTo:Write A Song If I Were a Rich Man In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida MTV Pippin the musical Scale (music) Smells Like Teen Spirit The Sound of Music Things Bono Invented VH1 Warner Music Group Ziggy Stardust More...

♪ Composers of Classical Music ♪

Johann Sebastian Bach • Béla Bartók • Johannes Brahms • Anton Bruckner • John Cage • Antonín Dvořák • Philip Glass • Joseph Haydn • Paul Hindemith • Charles Ives • Gustav Mahler • Felix Mendelssohn • Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart • Sergei Prokofiev • Sergei Rachmaninoff • Steve Reich • Arnold Schoenberg • Franz Schubert • Robert Schumann • Dmitri Shostakovich • Karlheinz Stockhausen • Richard Strauss • Igor Stravinsky • Pyotr Tchaikovsky • Ludwig van Beethoven • Richard Wagner • Anton Webern

♫ Band Class ♫

Band - Marching band - Band geeks - HowTo:Make a Band
Accordion - Air Drum - Air Guitar - Bagpipes - Bass (Learn Bass!) - Bass Guitar - Bassoon - Clarinet - Cowbell - Drums - Euphonium - Fiddle - Flute - French Horn - Grand Piano - Guitar (Guitarist - Play Guitar - Learn Guitar!) - Harp - Harpsichord - Kazoo - Lyre - Oboe - Ocarina - Piano - Saxophone - Skin flute - Trombone - Trumpet - Tuba - Violin - Stradivarius - Wah Wah Boing Boing - Xylophone