Portal:Music

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The Music Portal

Music is a 'form of art' first discovered by Charles Darwin in the 1800s. It is a sort of root, that often has a beat to it, although some people have thought that music is actually a form of lanksop hypnosis made by singers who just want to sell their CDs. Often when music is played, people start dancing, as music often results in your body going into spasm that takes over your body with its infectious rhythm. This is due to the fact that music is a potent neurotoxin, and can cause long term damage to the central nervous system. Scientists are trying to prove that music is a disease and so those who are infected with the virus (such as rock stars) die before their time, (like Elvis and Jesus). It seems to severely affect drummers. It is also a fact that having absolutely no musical skills!!! result in immunization to the disease, such as birds, blink-182 and, Oasis. Music was designed only to annoy those who hear it and cause them to go insane and outsane. Music can come in many forms. Revolving, singing, blowing, strumming, and pressing are only some on the possible insanities that be music. (Full article...)

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Highlighted Article

OK, so, you're crying because the angel did something that warrants the death penalty. That's deep, Serj...

So you want to write effluvial lyrics like the official Armenian-American Lebanese-born Poet of the Overwrought, Serj Tankian of genre-challenged rock band System of a Down.

The first question to ask yourself up front is, whatever for? Have the countless critical articles about his inability to pull a well-crafted subtle lyrical image out of his ass told you nothing? If so, then this article is for you.

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Article credit: GlobalTourniquet

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Music in the News

"What?"

VIENNA, Austria -- At a dinner party planned by his live-in girlfriend and attended, for the most part, by her friends, Ludwig van Beethoven admitted to the one friend he was allowed to invite that he hears just fine, thank you very much.

"Feigning a state of deafness is the only way I can get time to myself to make music." he said, between sips of brandy from his favorite pewter mug, "Before, it was all 'Blah, blah, blah. Wiggy, you need to listen to me. Blah, blah, blah'. I'd just get through the 'Dah-dah-dah dum' and she'd come clomping into the room to unburden herself of a lengthy monologue...

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Article credit: Modusoperandi

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Featured Image

Is it really him? (A grue just appeared.)

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Image credit: Marinos

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Featured Artist

Phil Ochs photographed an hour after his death by a camera in Heaven.

Phil Ochs (born December 19, 1940, died April 9, 1976) was the major American social movement singer-songwriter of the 1960s and the initiating irritating organizer of the more satirically absurd street demonstrations of the era. And he did it all while six sheets to the wind.

Ochs, of course, long after his semi-tragic alcohol-fueled death-by-hanging in 1976, became a musical icon in the 21st century. But during his short aggravated lifetime, Phil Ochs was the essential quintessential unknown American folk artist/social activist. And, historians agree, in the end he was not a very good brother.

Phil Ochs was unknown in the 20th century for such songs as "The War is Surely Almost Over", "I'm Considering Not Marching Anymore", and "Pleasures of Your Momma", heard by hundreds during his lifetime.

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Article credit: Aleister

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Lyric of the Week

“No, I'm not a stranger Look! I have an umbrella!”
– From the UnTunes song: You can stand under my umbrella (you can also feel my antenna)

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Featured UnTunes

UnTunes

PLAY>MP3

Middle-Aged Suburban White Guy Rap

Featuring the smooth vocal stylings of "DJ" Daryl Dipstick & Doofus.

Daryl: Word!
Doofus (in wimpy nasal): Sure, I got Word. Excel, Powerpoint, the whole office suite. <snort>
Daryl: Would you shut up, homie? I’m trying to throw down some tough rhymes here.
Doofus: Sorry. So, what does Word, mean?
Daryl: I don’t know - it’s just something they say. Now shut up or you’re fired! Uhm, I’ve got to get my groove on, or get in touch with my inner child, or something. Hmmm… wait… I got one! (more...)