From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Celine Dion)
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Uncyclopedia Portals: Art · Business · Culinary · Games · History · Music · People · Politics · Religion · Science · Society · Technology · All...

The Music Portal


Music is a 'form of art' first discovered by Charles Darwin in the 1800s. It is a sort of root, that often has a beat to it, although some people have thought that music is actually a form of lanksop hypnosis made by singers who just want to sell their CDs. Often when music is played, people start dancing, as music often results in your body going into spasm that takes over your body with its infectious rhythm. This is due to the fact that music is a potent neurotoxin, and can cause long term damage to the central nervous system. Scientists are trying to prove that music is a disease and so those who are infected with the virus (such as rock stars) die before their time, (like Elvis and Jesus). It seems to severely affect drummers. It is also a fact that having absolutely no musical skills!!! result in immunization to the disease, such as birds, blink-182 and, Oasis. Music was designed only to annoy those who hear it and cause them to go insane and outsane. Music can come in many forms. Revolving, singing, blowing, strumming, and pressing are only some on the possible insanities that be music. (Full article...)


Highlighted Article

Good night, sleep tight, and don't let the Dark Lord and scores of his fiery disciples from the nether realm feast upon your immortal soul forevermore.

Ronnie James Dio (born July 10, 1942, in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, USA), is a heavy metal vocalist, 42nd level magic user, midget rights activist, and children's author. When he's not recording, touring, or being fired from or rejoining Black Sabbath (or Rainbow), he's reviewing student applications at the Ronnie James Dio Institute of Lyrical Technology. And, when he's not doing that, he's busy penning another kiddie classic in his tireless pursuit of a Newbery Medal.…

Archive Article credit: Todd Lyons (more…)

Music in the News

Lars Ulrich.jpg
Listen to audio (file info)

At 11:43 last night, authorities were called to a home in California, where Theodore Seville, the drummer of Alvin and the Chipmunks, was found overdosed on a mixture of cocaine and sherbert. He was treated in hospital and discharged this morning, but his bandmates were furious and immediately fired him. In a statement, Simon said that "We have always been proud of having no drugs in this band, to the point where we refused to go on tour with The Jonas Brothers. For Theodore to undermine that is disgusting."…

Archive Article credit: Zombie gerbil (more...)

Featured Image

Courtney Love

The Messiah, according to Courtnology. Unlike prophecies, this is based in fact.

Nominate stuff Image credit: Tenn Image archive

Featured Artist

I'm gonna say it now.png
Phil Ochs photographed an hour after his death by a camera in Heaven.

Phil Ochs (born December 19, 1940, died April 9, 1976) was the major American social movement singer-songwriter of the 1960s and the initiating irritating organizer of the more satirically absurd street demonstrations of the era. And he did it all while six sheets to the wind.

Ochs, of course, long after his semi-tragic alcohol-fueled death-by-hanging in 1976, became a musical icon in the 21st century. But during his short aggravated lifetime, Phil Ochs was the essential quintessential unknown American folk artist/social activist. And, historians agree, in the end he was not a very good brother.

Phil Ochs was unknown in the 20th century for such songs as "The War is Surely Almost Over", "I'm Considering Not Marching Anymore", and "Pleasures of Your Momma", heard by hundreds during his lifetime.…

Archive Article credit: Aleister (more...)

Lyric of the Week

“No, I'm not a stranger Look! I have an umbrella!”

 From the UnTunes song: You can stand under my umbrella (you can also feel my antenna)


Featured UnTunes

She's just a girl, but she is grilling.

Grill on fire

This song is a promotional piece written and performed by Iron Chef Bobby Flay for Food Network, sung to the melody of Alicia Keys' Girl on Fire.

It's just a grill, but it's on fire

Ready for the coals to set, fish is waiting in the net

I'm cooking with a grill and it's on fire

We can fix you up a steak, have a picnic by the lake

Ohhhh oh oh oh oh

We got some surf and turf now    (more...)

Musical Credit: Zana Dark View All

Recent Articles in Music

UnTunes:No cucumbers  UnTunes:Piña Coladatown  UnTunes:Grill on fire  UnNews:Dave Mustaine is running for president  UnReviews:Wall-E (music video) NSFW  American Pie  Giant Jew Band  UnTunes:Troops on the Ground  In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida  I Am the Walrus  UnTunes:Confessions of a Telemarketer  UnTunes:Ur So Phat and you don't even like food  HowTo:Write Colin Meloy Lyrics  Industrial metal  Emo Rap  Article not about Beyonce  UnBooks:Great Abridged Pop Songs   UnTunes:I Will Possess Your Log  UnBooks:Frédéric Chopin's Guide to Better Lawn Care  MC Hammer/Lyrics  Music rating system  Slim Shady Algorithm  UnNews:My guitar solo isn't fresh enoughDubstep  Skrillex


Musical Articles by Genre

Musical genres



More portals

Portals complement main topics in Uncyclopedia that nobody cares about, and expand upon topics that nobody cares even less about.