Portal:Music

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Celine Dion)
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Music Portal.png
Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Music portal
By far the most david bowie stanning portal you will ever find.
To understand music, we must first understand sound. Sound is an ingredient used to make tuna casserole. (It is disputed whether sound is sweet or savory.) Sound is alive. The hills are alive with it. Just ask Julie Andrews. She loves the sound of farting.
File:Sound-of-music.jpg

I love music. Sweet or savory music. Any kind of music. As long as it's groovy. And rock - it has to be rock....and it has to be straight....and it has to be from San Francisco...no wait, I don't like music. I hate music. It sounds like my dog farting. Really eggy. I'm more of a cat person.

edit 

Highlighted Article

File:Ronniejamesdio.jpg
Good night, sleep tight, and don't let the Dark Lord and scores of his fiery disciples from the nether realm feast upon your immortal soul forevermore.
Ronnie James Dio (born July 10, 1942, in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, USA), is a heavy metal vocalist, 42nd level magic user, midget rights activist, and children's author. When he's not recording, touring, or being fired from or rejoining Black Sabbath (or Rainbow), he's reviewing student applications at the Ronnie James Dio Institute of Lyrical Technology. And, when he's not doing that, he's busy penning another kiddie classic in his tireless pursuit of a Newbery Medal.  (more...)
Article Credit: Todd Lyons View All
edit 

Music in the News

At 11:43 last night, authorities were called to a home in California, where Theodore Seville, the drummer of Alvin and the Chipmunks, was found overdosed on a mixture of cocaine and sherbert. He was treated in hospital and discharged this morning, but his bandmates were furious and immediately fired him. In a statement, Simon said that "We have always been proud of having no drugs in this band, to the point where we refused to go on tour with The Jonas Brothers. For Theodore to undermine that is disgusting."  (more...)

Article Credit: Zombie gerbil View All
edit 

Featured Image

Hang the DJ!
A belated favour for Morrissey.
Image Credit: Todd Lyons
Nominate Stuff View All Images
edit 

Featured Artist

File:Jew box image.PNG
Nancy, the fetching young lady who inspired the creation of Rock and Roll.(Courtesy of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, color tinted tintype circa 1894))]

The Giant Jew Band was a group of five extremely energetic and talented Jewish musicians who invented Rock and Roll in 1894, six decades before the musical form went mainstream.

"In their time the Giant Jew Band was bigger than the Beatles," said the Rolling Stone cover story upon the 1977 death of Morrie Abrahamson, the band's last surviving member, "at least in the rural backwoods of Southwestern Maine. Few people still remember the group, but Little Richard, Chuck Berry, Buddy Holly and all of the other 1950s Rock 'pioneers' trace their roots right back to these rural backhills Jewboys, and gave them proper credit during their lifetimes." This is their story.  (more...)

Article Credit: Aleister View All
edit 

Lyric of the Week

“No, I'm not a stranger Look! I have an umbrella!”

 From the UnTunes song: You can stand under my umbrella (you can also feel my antenna)

(more...)
edit 

Featured UnTunes

Middle-Aged Suburban White Guy Rap

Featuring the smooth vocal stylings of "DJ" Daryl Dipstick & Doofus.

Daryl: Word!
Doofus (in wimpy nasal): Sure, I got Word. Excel, Powerpoint, the whole office suite. <snort>
Daryl: Would you shut up, homie? I’m trying to throw down some tough rhymes here.
Doofus: Sorry. So, what does Word, mean?
Daryl: I don’t know - it’s just something they say. Now shut up or you’re fired! Uhm, I’ve got to get my groove on, or get in touch with my inner child, or something. Hmmm… wait… I got one!    (more...)

Musical Credit: Tooltroll View All
edit 

Recent Articles in Music

UnTunes:No cucumbers  UnTunes:Piña Coladatown  UnTunes:Grill on fire  UnNews:Dave Mustaine is running for president  UnReviews:Wall-E (music video) NSFW  American Pie  Giant Jew Band  UnTunes:Troops on the Ground  In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida  I Am the Walrus  UnTunes:Confessions of a Telemarketer  UnTunes:Ur So Phat and you don't even like food  HowTo:Write Colin Meloy Lyrics  Industrial metal  Emo Rap  Article not about Beyonce  UnBooks:Great Abridged Pop Songs   UnTunes:I Will Possess Your Log  UnBooks:Frédéric Chopin's Guide to Better Lawn Care  MC Hammer/Lyrics  Music rating system  Slim Shady Algorithm  UnNews:My guitar solo isn't fresh enoughDubstep  Skrillex

edit 

Musical Articles by Genre


  Slayer
Kirk HammetRobert Trujillo
Not Lars UlrichNot James HetfieldClint EastwoodLou Reed
albums
Kill 'Em AllPastor of MuppetsMetallicaMSN
songs
"Seek & Destroy" • "Foppery" • "Master of Puppets" • "Mama Sad"
related articles
MegadethUnNews:Metallica front man in beard conspiracyKitty-GiraffesJesus LaBrie