Portal:Music

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Celine Dion)
Jump to navigation Jump to search
The Music Portal
284.gif

Music, first explored by Charles Darwin in the 1800s, is often considered an art form. It typically features a rhythm or beat, though some argue that it functions more like a hypnotic tool used by artists to sell CDs. When music is played, it often makes people want to dance, as its infectious rhythm seems to take control of the body. This effect is sometimes attributed to music's ability to disrupt the nervous system. Some scientists even suggest that music could be a form of disease, which may explain the premature deaths of famous musicians like Elvis and Jesus. Drummers, in particular, seem to suffer the most. Interestingly, those with no musical talent—like birds or bands such as Blink-182 and Oasis—are said to be immune. Ultimately, music may exist solely to drive listeners mad. It can take many forms, including singing, strumming, or blowing, all of which can push the boundaries of sanity. (See more...)

Featured Article
National Treasure John Peel on wonderful Radio Caroline.

"Wugga, wugga and welcome back the Perfumed Garden Psychedelic Special hastily assembled because Dave Lee Travis appears to have fallen overboard and been harpooned by whalers. In the finest traditions of Pirate Radio I'm wearing an eye-patch and cutlass and you may be able to hear my parrot Syd squawking in the background. But tonight's show is brought to you live from my living room at Peel Towers due to car trouble stopping me getting to the ferry out to good old Radio Caroline...

Written by Funnybony
Music in the News
Destroyerwalkingthestreetsofnyc.jpg

STANDISH, Maine – Eyewitnesses say the once world famous rock band KISS has ruined another high school graduation. Parents report that students at Bonny Eagle High School were lining up to get their diplomas, when all of a sudden the rock band KISS "walked in and screwed it all up."

One student was walking across the stage towards the principal when the band kicked down the door, fell all over a bunch of chairs, then drunkenly told attendees that "KISS is back, and we're still rocking all night, every night!" Paul Stanley then started trying to arm-dance with the school's principal, telling her, according to the school's vice principal, "You can Call Me Dr. Love," before falling down the raised platform where they were standing.

Written by The Woodburninator
Featured Image
50 Mozart.jpg
50 Cent was decried by his peers as a nepo baby due to his famous ancestor, 50 Schilling.
Image by Marinos
Featured Artist
And so it was that the Misunderstood never came to pass.

This particular misunderstanding began when fate decided to try her hand at unpopular music. She created five unwitting suckers along with DJ John Peel. Then she brought them all together and the boys conspired as rebels with a cause of being Yardbirds-wannabes, while John became their mentor.

Although just a rag tag band from California's Hayseed-meets-Hollywood Inland Empire, by 1966 Peel had teleported them to another reality, far far away, in "fab" London, where they became Psychedelic Music icons, like, NOT! In London town the band were enticed with promises of bread and water into signing a pact with the first company to giva-a-shit: Fontana Records.

Written by Rsbj66
Featured UnTunes
Imagine no taxes.jpg

Imagine No Taxes
Imagine there're no taxes.
It's easy if you try.
No wealth to owe them.
An ever growing pie.
Imagine all the people leaving you alone.

Imagine there's no gub'mint.
It isn't hard to do.
No one to take your money.
And no welfare, too.
Imagine all the people driven by monopolies.

(Full lyrics...)

Written by Kippy, Vocals by Leverage
Further Reading
Genres
Classical
Country
Hip hop
Jazz
Pop
Rock
Other
Hurdygurdy.jpg
More Portals
Portals complement topics that nobody cares about and expand upon topics that everybody cares even less about.
Retrieved from "https://en.uncyclopedia.co/w/index.php?title=Portal:Music&oldid=6371193"