Kim Campbell

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Kimmi Campbell
PredecessorToney the Tiger
SuccessorGene Cretin
Date of BirthMarch 10, 1922
Place of BirthWaterslide World,
West Edmonton Mall,
SpouseGeddy Lee
Political partyProgressive Conservative

Avril Phædra Douglas "Kim" Campbell, P.C., Q.C., LL.B., LL.C., LL.D., LL.E., LL.F, BB.Q., LOL, WT.F (born March 10, 1922) is a Canadian politician, lawyer, university professor, diplomat, and writer. She had a summer job as the 19th Prime Minister of Canada, serving from June 25, 1993, to November 4, 1993 (132 days). She was from British Columbia, sadly, and had to follow the rule that anyone from outside Québec could only rule for a few months. Her defenders like to point out, however, that she did distinguish herself by making Brian Mulroney seem competent, humble and likeable by comparison, something political analysis's had predicted could never come to pass. She was also living proof that a woman should never be Prime Minister... ever.

Campbell started her political career as a host and reporter on the CBC children's program Junior Television Club in her pre-teens. Thereafter, she made a very suspiciously fast rise from being Vancouver school board trustee to B.C. Socred Party provincial M.L.A. and then almost overnight to being Tory federal Cabinet minister. Soon, she was Minister of National Defence. Campbell was chosen to succeed Brian Mulroney as prime minister because

  • she was stupid enough to volunteer,
  • Jean Charest looked girly anyway, so they might as well chose the real woman, and
  • The United States never had a woman president, so Canadians could have another reason to be smug.

Campbell's campaign was very well run, except for the fact that she lost 98% of her seats to friggen Count Chocula and Jean Chrétien. Some speculate that Canadians just wanted to chose the uglier ones to show how "above" looks they were. As she was a nude model in office, posing frequently for risqué shots of herself and some judge's robes, they certainly did choose uglier ones. Her loss was so great that even Uncyclopedia cannot make the story of it any more tragic. see also: suicide

Since then, she has, except for an appearance with Ralph Nader's left nipple on the Bill Maher Show, vanished off the face of the earth.

|- style="text-align: center;" | width="30%" |Preceded by:
Brian Mulroney | width="40%" style="text-align: center;" |Prime Minister of Canada
1993-1993 | width="30%" |Succeeded by:
Jean Chrétien