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- 3500 BC - Moses descends from Mt. Sinai amid thunderclaps and bush conflagrations with a number of commandments.
- 204 - Early Christians invent the concept of shame to curbe the spread of wild Levantine sex orgies.
- 1861 - Oscar Wilde first merits mention in his local newspaper for his treatise on the manufacturing of Bon-bons.
- 1920 - The Soviet Union acquires free agent Azerbaijan, US responds weakly by drafting Alaska 39 years later.
- 1988 - Dr. Bill Cosby announces discovery of vaccine for Jell-O Fever, the vaccine being a night out on town and maybe some dinner? (Pictured)
- 1991 - First recorded case of a man pretending to be woman on IRC for free pizza, thin crust with anchovies and olives.
- 2015 - "Jell-O Fever" discovered to be a noxious cocktail of several different STDs and rape drug side-effects.