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- 13 - Repairs begin after worst Friday the 13th ever.
- 1215 - Magna Carta signed, giving the Red Baron the right to bake pizza on his warplane.
- 1654 - On this Sunday, by a freak coincidence, no-one turned up to church at all, anywhere. Excuses cited include "washing cart" and "wife pregnant".
- 1936 - Hitler's girlfriend Eva Braun buys a "really cute armband" for the big rally.
- 1967 - Yoko Ono forms her renegade militant group "The Plastic Renegades" with the objective of destroying all good music in the universe.
- 1987 - Miracle Whip deemed "less than miraculous" by the FDA. (Pictured)
- 2007 - Captain obvious says something hilariously astute.