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- 1835 - The Finnish Tourism Board publishes the Kalevala, an obvious ripoff of Tolkien, and declares the day a national holiday.
- 1847 - American forces nearly capture the Mexican town of Chihuahua, but are quickly torn to shreds by packs of those selfsame canines.
- 1935 - Nylon is invented, to fill the niche of fabrics that don't sufficiently chafe your nipples.
- 1939 - The word dord is unjustly removed from the dictionary by pernicious grammarians with no sense of humor.
- 1991 - The Gulf War ends, troops glad they never have to go back to Iraq or the Middle East ever again.
- 1993 - The ATF lay siege to a cult compound in Waco, Texas, decide to use guns instead of trebuchets.