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- 1203 - Genghis Khan loses his temper after losing a mud wrestling match; invades China.
- 1655 - Henry Morgan sacks Panama for England, after Spanish children steal novelty codpiece from Oliver Cromwell.
- 1862 - Ulysses S. Grant attacks Fort Donelson, Tennessee, in retribution for early morning theft of Union toilet paper.
- 1925 - Adolf Hitler writes his fiction novel Mein Kampf. It is interpreted as non-fiction.
- 1933 - Attempted assassination of President-elect Franklin Delano Roosevelt after a particularly sweaty handshake during the campaign.
- 1989 - The Soviet Union leaves Afghanistan, realising that the whole thing just got out of hand.
- 1997 - Starbucks tries a little too hard to out-do everyone else.
- 2008 - People don't seem to appreciate your attitude towards my potato chip situation. (Pictured)
- 2021 - Global warming causes state-wide power outage in Texas; Ted Cruz and family evacuate to Cancún.