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- 1803 - In Marbury v Madison, two men named Mr. Marbury and Mr. Madison fight each other with canes, and the Supreme Court decides who wins.
- 1863 - People on their way to California collapse from heat while traveling across the desert, and rather than dying with humanity, they found Arizona.
- 1920 - God decides today is a good day to create Nazis, a few select Germans suddenly feel an unusual aversion to international Jewry.
- 1942 - Aliens attack the city of Los Angeles! (Pictured) They're confused for Japanese soldiers due to racism.
- 2007 - Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe launches a spy satellite to perv on Kim Jong-un's sister, Kim Yo-jong.
- 2008 - Fidel Castro retires, spends the rest of his days smoking cigars and laughing at assassination attempts.