Mother

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An artist rendition of the average mother

“NO, YO MOMMA SO FAT, SHE USES A WHALE AS HER WATER BED.
NAH HAH, YO MOMMA SO SKINNY, SHE CAN CRAWL HER WAY OUT OF THE SHEET OF PAPER.”

~ Daffy Duck on Your mom

“They sure know best... don't you mom? ;)”

~ Oedipus on Mothers

A mother is a person who creates children for a living, much like how a Britney Spears invents farts for a living. Most professional mothers are often gay-looking, naggy, middle-aged and stupid - as they lead a stressful life competing in the flying-retard market with the ever popular butterflyers, the blood-sucking mosquitoers and the backstabbing boyers.

Mothers are also well known for their unfortunate habit of dispensing unnecessary advice on any given topic due to a disease to people under the age of 30. Thus, the government has enacted the "Beware-of-Mother Act of 2005" to protect this workforce as their union threatened them with more advice.

Origins[edit | edit source]

Behold the power of mothers. Don't you wish giving birth was so simple? She's kinda hot though.

Mothers are caused when a woman gets a disease known as pregnancy. It is a virus that settles in the vagina area and then heads for the brain and causes damage that can't be repaired unless the other irritating virus called "child" is eliminated . The symptoms are a huge desire to control their children and force them to do ridiculous things and feel guilty in all of their behaviours that shows signs of fun.

Behaviour[edit | edit source]

The mothers are overprotective cunts and pieces of shit. They bitch and moan all the time and get pissed at random times. They constantly fail at any logical argument put forth to them, particularly because their minds have rotted away. This usually happens during the early stages, when they still have to take care of toddlers. On later stages, when the toddlers have become teens, mothers tend to reorganize the inventory of their teens to ensure that no harmful substances are found. They are nerds and they sound like idiots when they lecture you. In an attempt to justify their bitching, they state that it is due to their caring for the offspring, which is total bullshit. The truth is, they have no life. Stay away.

See also[edit | edit source]