Obscurantism

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Diagram of various geopolitical and gastroenterological interactions

Obscurantism, or the intercontextuality of embodied narratives, is a device liberally used in philosophy and in most forms of Japanese-queer-giraffe epistemologies. Such investigations including the deeper inspection of how The Golden Girls pioneered the dichotomy of aborting penguin fetuses before a traditionalist view of gestation periods. Obscurantism is the driving engine behind on how straight white men ruin everything by their lack of intercontextuality and alienation of ripe unwashed gym bags that emanate a man stink so strong no one can make sense out of anything, which is why so few dare engage its profundity or survive the process.

The Einstein – beer stein paradox: Phallological/paleobotanical solution[edit | edit source]

Non-linear dynamics in z-space

Heidegger pioneered indecipherable text. Let us examine the nature of Heidegger's most basic arguments:

We use X to denote the rate of quasi-rotational entropy of Heidegger's increasingly expanding loins as he could not resist touching himself whilst writing out paragraphs of detailed paper scratching. By we denote the degree to which Heidegger's moustache would soak up his stepmother's bodily fluid under ideal intellectual conditions. Thus, we apply a series of conspiratorial and transcendental operations obtaining:

If we substitute Z for X, then we obtain the solution to Plato's long term body odor condition. Can a Miltonian singularity create ball sweat on the Statue of David purely through the act of will to power and cultural constructionism? Within the Alighieri Equations, we have to interlope Heidegger's traction of both being and time, by realising that time is more the essence of the statue of David's perceived ball sweat more than existence. Is perception possible without time? Derrida and Saussure would agree, perhaps. The answer is both yes and at the same time with the interplay of the corpus of Benedictine Gregorian Chant, a resounding rejection of gravitons orbiting Saussure's literary deconstruction of Hermione's adult crush on a mature Harry Potter during a steamy dry-dream? What is a dry dream? According to the more primitive Heidegger interpretation, it is a wet dream only the subject has held back on discharging genital fluid due to societal pressures via patriarchy and control through domination and yielding to postmodern asymtomania.

We can therefore conclude that there is no such thing as a scientific method and that to claim that vaccines do not cause autism is an overly bread judgement, as, autism did not exist before the signifier was signified by imperialistic discovery.

Heidegger[edit | edit source]

Heidegger was a genius in obscurantism. His work on The politico-economic effect of quantum gender roles in Harry Potter, is the first effort at concrete definitions accessible to the general public. Before this work, no one could digest the depth of non-binariness in Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire. His important and influential reading of phenomenological assault on the traditional use of Einsteins's rule of marsupial linguistics as applied to an early-genocidal contingency left his contemporaries utterly unable to reply. The work is at once obsessive‑compulsively criminological and yet ironically phallic in the sense that its hegemonic structure critique is the deconstruction of Sardinian maggot cheese sandwiches more than the expected masculine roles observed in Hitler's post-suicide erect nipples.

Heidegger assaulted intellectual norms through pseudopsychological inaccuracy in the disproportional tugboat of Being vs. Time which he explained in his short book Heliocentrism from caloric exorcism with semi-Platonic ideas written in Hexameter Haiku. He expanded the work with an attempted seventy-five-volume treatise clarifying what he meant in his first book. The point of the work was to define obscurantism. He died after finishing his notes for volume twelve. His work was completed half a century later when everyone realized that he meant nothing of what he wrote and it was an intellectual joke of disturbing hilarity not lost on those who claimed to understand it. Said Baudrillard as he read the final page of Heidegger's writings before he died: "Only staggering geniuses such as myself and my equals can deconstruct and reconstruct into sensible ramblings the obscurant clever‑hood of Heidegger's vocal ejaculate." (Ba‑dum‑tss.)

Emergent holistic analysis[edit | edit source]

The solidity of Heidegger's singular-narrative world view on the banality and profundity of Tupperware™ make a study of their exotic narrative straightforward, yet at the same time confusingly difficult. Those who dismiss his work as hard to read, evasive on purpose and overly dense miss the very point Heidegger wasn't making. To understand his work is to see beyond the surface meaning of the text and understand that his endless focus on non-recyclability was not an environmental statement (though hilariously it was) but more an indirect critique of his own intense pornographic lust for his stepmother.

The curve reflects technical mortality and semi-mortality among jargon samples under the effect of the Pauli Exclusion Principle.

The ethnographic investigation of his deeper daydreaming of nipple-play with his stepmother reveals higher rates of decapitation among low tidal nested bloodhounds, argument transfer mechanisms between Belgium and illiterate owls varied Germanically with rate of one's fluctuating metabolism. Thus, the subdivisions within the quasilumniferous bodies of betrayal will hyper-impose itself with proportion to a function of nihilism. Thus, we have demonstrated the reflexive axiom of his stepmother's urine landing in the bathtub just before he takes his coveted bath, both washing his own perversion in the uncleanliness of purity.

Deontological vs. neomystical phenomena[edit | edit source]

We are presented with an irresolvable ichtyological dilemma. Do we naively follow Heidegger into his destructive obsession with stepmotherly Oedipus like golden-showerphobia? Or do we reflect the canonical reductionist ontology of Chipmunk tooth decay? Whilst it would be simplistic to distill this down to a formula, it can help us to disentangle the disorder of Heidegger's misplaced lust:

Where x represent the psychoses of an irrepressible yearning and f equals various disorders of category CVN-501(c)(93)(3%630-z)(T) along with the purest of wombat shit. It is then evident that ontological integration of stepmother urine is a more structured representation of Hobbes's critique of world power as a categorical downshifting of familial resentment and misplaced desire to overcome one's father through stealing his hidden sticky porno collection and leaving it for his wife to confirm it had always existed (though stickier than suspected).

Conclusion[edit | edit source]

Although we would like to have a sense of an ending, articles cannot fit within neat structure and narratives, as the human experience is both messy as well as debased and impure. Though it may look as though there is a sort of intellectual progression as we elevate ourselves above the Heideggetarian nothingness, and even the more subtle Derridian proof that cancer never existed until it was first diagnosed, we can be sure that COVID fundamentally changed the way Queen Victoria's black mourning dress symbolized both the trajectory of the industrial revolution and so-called "human rights" as envisioned by the foolish, but also the synthesis of 3,7-dihydro-3,7-dimethyl-1H-purine-2,6-dione as detected in Heidegger's stepmother's urine. This shows a seeming pattern of allegorical eschatology established by a Platonian dialogue of antique tooth removal devices, portrayed alongside man's inhumanity with man as the antagonist of man itself. To say we are our own enemies is to go too far, but to not embrace its likelihood would be like Napoleon doubting his own circumcision.

See also[edit | edit source]