Forum:Help! Help! Oh, for the love of humanity, God help us!

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Forums: Index > Village Dump > Help! Help! Oh, for the love of humanity, God help us!
Note: This topic has been unedited for 2217 days. It is considered archived - the discussion is over. Do not add to unless it really needs a response.

He's killing us! Multiliteralist has taken us all hostage and he's forcing us to write articles! Don't be fooled by his goofy demeanor and his sexy cowboy hat! He's an evil slave-driver! He's got as locked up in his basement, forcing us to say silly, silly things and make up dirty compound words combining buttocks and phalluses! He...he doesn't know I'm talking to you now. He's gone out for eggs or cuntymints or something. And more ink. He goes through so much ink in a day. My God, I don't know where he puts it all. I swear he eats some of it, and it's completely fucked his brain right through! Yesterday, I wrote about something called a Cuntlord! Fuck knows if I have any idea what that is, it's all part of his nefarious insanity! He's got us all down here, Cat the Colourful, Kippy, IFYMB!, and I, and he's trying to get more! He wants everyone to come under his tutelage, so that he can milk them for all the poop jokes that can be squeezed out of their limp flesh, and then he'll secretly launch us all into a space burial! Oh God, I don't want to eat a Fuckpie! Oh God, oh God please, someone help! Oh no, he's come back! Oh God, will the buttwhipping never end! Please, before he comes down, I have to tell you something. He can hear me typing, but don't go to the UnNews page! He's filled it with his - AGHCK! OH GOD HE'S GOT ME! OH FUCK! -RAHB 10:17, 2 June 2013 (UTC)

You all know he is lying. He's having delusions, and he came up with that cuntlord idea himself, and all the poop ideas. I am innocent of any basement. I only go for quality and you should all quit disparaging me. -- Style Oranssiviiva.jpg Guide 10:23, 2 June 2013 (UTC)

The basements in Finland are so cold. I've already frozen my dick off and the bollocks are turning black. Why/ Why is this happening to me?! -RAHB 10:26, 2 June 2013 (UTC)

RAHB, Multiliteralist is right, you're not in his basement. I am locked in Multi's basement while you are in my basement. *sigh* Why can't you understand man... Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz Zzz...morning? 10:59, 2 June, 2013 (UTC)
No, no, no, no, no, no, no AGGGGHHH THE HALLUCINATIONS! THEY'RE FEEDING ME ACID THROUGH A TUBE! GOD WHY! -RAHB 11:04, 2 June 2013 (UTC)
Yeah, sorry for that. My cats can be pretty brutal sometimes. I will discuss with them once I get out. Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz Zzz...morning? 11:29, 2 June, 2013 (UTC)
What's it like in Multi's basement? Yours smells a little too much like gasoline for my liking. Also, HELP! -RAHB 11:38, 2 June 2013 (UTC)
You know, there's never enough gasoline man. That's what finns feed for cats, and that's what I really regret from doing. I mean, they're NUTS. Also Multi's place sucks, this is too fresh goddamnit. I believe he takes care of his hygiene or whatever that is. Not nice AT ALL Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz Zzz...morning? 11:40, 2 June, 2013 (UTC)
How many sets of chains does he have you set up with? I think there's eight or nine holding me down, but I can't see them all. -RAHB 11:49, 2 June 2013 (UTC)
He's got one on each of my testicles. And he's just inserted a hot dog into my anus. IFYMB! Talk to me baby! 12:40 2 June 2013
Look carefully. Is it a hot dog? -RAHB 12:44, 2 June 2013 (UTC)
Well, its small, wide and... OMG ITS HIS FUCKING PENIS!!! IFYMB! Talk to me baby! 12:49 2 June 2013
Let's make one thing absolutely clear: I would not insert my own penis into your anus. Kippy is here too, remember? -- Style Oranssiviiva.jpg Guide 13:07, 2 June 2013 (UTC)
Oh god it's a trap! He's coaxing us into fueling his latest deranged acid burnout ramblings! Cuntlords were just the beginning! -RAHB 13:23, 2 June 2013 (UTC)
WHERE THE FUCK I ACTUALLY AM I CAN'T SEE IFYMB OR KIPPY WHAT'S HAPPENING?! AM I ABANDONED IN SOMEWHERE ELSE AAARRGGHHH Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz Zzz...morning? 14:33, 2 June, 2013 (UTC)
All right. This is flagrant misuse of... whose resources are we flagrantly misusing, by the way? Never mind that. Now get back to work or I'll stuff more dicks into the lot of you. -- Style Oranssiviiva.jpg Guide 14:49, 2 June 2013 (UTC)
But you already have three in my asshole, where else could you put some more except for my mouth and nostril-?!!!!!! IFYMB! Talk to me baby! 20:25 2 June 2013
You haven't begun to see where he can ram those things in....oh God, the cream cheese....HELP! -RAHB 22:23, 2 June 2013 (UTC)
Far be it from me to disparage anyone's butt, IFYMB!, but I wager there is still room for a few dicks more. -- Style Oranssiviiva.jpg Guide 05:22, 3 June 2013 (UTC)

Morons

Also, "Encyclopedia Dramatica." (Now where the hell are you, Modus...) ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngWed, Jun 5 '13 1:21 (UTC)

I'm right here. Why? Is there something you I'm supposed to do? Is me not doing that thing that I'm expected to do me just being willfully obtuse, or am I subverting expectations? Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 01:31, 5 June 2013 (UTC)
I thought you were our trained monkeyboy, and that you would bring me a tall glass containing a mint julep and lots of ice, sans the spittle and/or urine, and a large fan made of feathers. IS THAT TOO FUCKING MUCH TO ASK? ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngWed, Jun 5 '13 1:43 (UTC)
Yes. All my drinks are spit and urine-based. I'm a bad bartender. My Caesar is pretty good. Not so much urine in that one. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 02:33, 5 June 2013 (UTC)

Back to the dicks-in-the-arse section

Throbizone2.png

I don't know why these people want to derail a perfectly balanced discussion about our sexual perversions. So, back to work everyone. -- Style Oranssiviiva.jpg Guide 06:10, 5 June 2013 (UTC)

Oh no, not the raptor arm! IFYMB! Talk to me baby! 06:12 5 June 2013
How do I express I have an evil grin on my face so that it looks funny the way it looks on IRC? Me sneers like a fucker? -- Style Oranssiviiva.jpg Guide 06:32, 5 June 2013 (UTC)
It's forums like these that make life worth living ;)Lord Scofield Stark 14:18, 9 June 2013 (UTC)
Not if you're the one locked up in the basement :( -RAHB 04:21, 10 June 2013 (UTC)
Yeah uh Multiliteralist will we ever get out? I think I need to take a pee. Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz Zzz...morning? 13:55, 10 June, 2013 (UTC)
You can pee in my asshole stupid. IFYMB! Talk to me baby! 14:58 10 June 2013
I'm linking this forum to SPIKE over on the old, dead site. Just to rub it in. "Hey, lookit whatcher missing!" ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngTue, Jun 11 '13 23:39 (UTC)
Do that! I came back from vacation to add an image and change my sig for the occasion. -- Style Oranssiviiva.jpg Guide 04:28, 12 June 2013 (UTC)
Ok you called my bluff. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngThu, Jun 13 '13 1:16 (UTC)
Jesus F. Christ what's the world coming to? Nobody is ready to flog a dead horse any more. -- Style Oranssiviiva.jpg Guide 09:54, 13 June 2013 (UTC)

Can I say 'Fuck' on the internet? Please? Ṁōŏṡʒ 21:35, Jun 13 21:35, 13 June 2013 (UTC)

No. IFYMB! Talk to me baby! 21:35 13 June 2013
Fuck! I thought so! Ṁōŏṡʒ 21:53, Jun 13 21:53, 13 June 2013 (UTC)
Hey! No fucking on the internet! IFYMB! Talk to me baby! 22:03 13 June 2013
Fuck. Not again! Ṁōŏṡʒ 11:39, Jun 14 11:39, 14 June 2013 (UTC)
Wait, you lost me with all this. Who's Spike? -- Style Oranssiviiva.jpg Guide 19:10, 14 June 2013 (UTC)
That guy dancing in my shoe. IFYMB! Talk to me baby! 19:31 14 June 2013
Has anybody seen "Dirty Dancing"? Man, every time I see that scene... You know, the one where they... Uhh... C'mon, you know the one I'm talking about... Anyway, every time I see that I go like: Fuuuuck! And there you go! Said it again. And made you read an endless stupid sentence about some stupid old movie. Ṁōŏṡʒ 21:30, Jun 14 21:30, 14 June 2013 (UTC)
Fuck sake man, stop it! IFYMB! Talk to me baby! 21:31 14 June 2013

There is no discernable humour in this forum. Instead of enhancing the absurdity of every day life you keep saying shit and fuck. This is not commedy. No articles with shit and fuck and rape belong on uncyclopedia...nor any article with lists. Because they are never funny. Now start writing good stuff and if you are lucky I will tell you my opinion about it right in your face. Dont say shit and fuck anymore and no more dog rape articles...dog rape is never funny. It will no longer be tollerated and i will delete any and all forums and articles which have dirty words and dont represent my vision of uncyclopedia ... which is the only correct vision of uncyclopedia. And also...I am the hero of uncyclopedia. --ShabiDOO 22:05, 14 June 2013 (UTC)

I think it's supposed to be spelled "Dogg Rappe" - the double letters make it more "commedic". - Strainj1...TALK 01:34, 16 June 2013 (UTC)

We need a dograping header

What kind of a dog raping article did you have in mind? Not that I would write one (when sober), it's not funny, but just in case I happen to get drunk or stoned? Or coked to the gills with heroin? -- Style Oranssiviiva.jpg Guide 09:35, 16 June 2013 (UTC)

I didn't write the comment just above this one. Someone flagrantly hacked my account because I told them my password. I would never make a header about dog rapping because it's not a funny. -- Style Oranssiviiva.jpg Guide 09:40, 16 June 2013 (UTC)
Wasn't me... IFYMB! Talk to me baby! 09:56 16 June 2013
It was me. My mission is to destroy uncyclopedia by writing articles about dog rape. Ten more dog rape articles (which aren't funny) and consider uncyclopedia officialy dead. Wanna help me? --ShabiDOO 16:44, 17 June 2013 (UTC)
Sure, i love dog rape. IFYMB! Talk to me baby! 16:49 17 June 2013
If I can write about a Laboratory Retriever rapping a Great Dane. Style Oranssiviiva.jpg Guide 16:50, 17 June 2013 (UTC)
I produced Barky Bark and the Husky Bunch's first album, Sniff 'n' Butts. True story. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 21:32, 17 June 2013 (UTC)
I mostly believe you! --ShabiDOO 22:01, 17 June 2013 (UTC)

Exclamation! (with substantially less Dog Raping)

On another note entirely - the exclamation point at the end of this page's title breaks the link that gets sent to email - It links to this page instead. - Strainj1...TALK 21:54, 17 June 2013 (UTC)

Wow, big news there Strainj... IFYMB! Talk to me baby! 21:55 17 June 2013
Sorry, it was quite off topic, wasn't it? Fine, go back to talking about Dog Raping then. - Strainj1...TALK 22:17, 17 June 2013 (UTC)
Do you like Dog Raping? I bet you do. IFYMB! Talk to me baby! 22:19 17 June 2013
Just for the record, this is the wrong way to report a bug. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 23:00, 17 June 2013 (UTC)
Fair enough. Sorry.... - Strainj1...TALK 23:57, 17 June 2013 (UTC)
Oh! I just got here! Can I join in on the fun? And why is RAHB tied up being raped by cats? --The Shield of Azunai DSA510 Insight into the mind of an aspergian: 01:13, 18 June 2013 (UTC)
No no no no. Cat rape is helarious. We want to write about non funny rape...which is dog rape. Rahb is tied up and is being raped by 101 starving pit bulls on speed and cocain. There is absolutely nothing humerous about that. As per why...I think only Rahb can explain why he likes dog sperm all over his face.--ShabiDOO 04:02, 18 June 2013 (UTC)
Ah, thanks for clearing that up, and I brought a sexy shota!!!! Rape him if you like, I gotta fly! *Denza flies away --The Shield of Azunai DSA510 Insight into the mind of an aspergian: 21:15, 19 June 2013 (UTC)