User talk:Scofield

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UnSignpost Home Delivery
The Newspaper With No Ambitions, Goals, Hopes or Dreams!

Two weeks in a row? A new record! It's the UnSignpost[edit]

The UnSignpost
The Only Newspaper That Is Not Controlled By The Cabal Who Are You What Are You Doi- AAAAHHHHH

~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Proudly bogan 23:46, 1 August 2014 (UTC)

Does this look infected to you? It's the UnSignpost![edit]

The UnSignpost
The Newspaper Not Secretly Controlled By Mordillo, We Swear!

 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia.png ~ Fri, Aug 8 '14 12:21 (UTC)

More {{Boner}}s than a ragged Playgirl: It's the UnSignpost![edit]

The UnSignpost
Now With 0 Trans Fat!

 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia.png ~ Fri, Aug 15 '14 20:08 (UTC)

We gave The UnSignpost an enema, so now it's regular![edit]

The UnSignpost
May contain traces of humor!

 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia.png ~ Fri, Aug 22 '14 2:11 (UTC)


The UnSignpost
Your #1 source for Cajek ban jokes!

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 03:15, 7 September 2014 (UTC)

Unsignpost delivery attempt numbr hideous implosion[edit]

The UnSignpost
In Pure Russian Fashion, The Newspaper That Reads YOU!!

Brace Yourselves, The UnSignpost is Coming![edit]

The UnSignpost
The Newspaper That Won't Judge You!

The USP is coming for you! (and your little dog too)[edit]

The UnSignpost
I love it when the news comes together

Shabidoo's Celestial Objects informal competition...[edit]

Dance the mash bro! on this year. Last Year's was fun. Make your family proud. --ShabiDOO 03:04, 29 September 2014 (UTC)

Excuse me, sir, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, the USP?[edit]

The UnSignpost
Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!

dicks lol: It's UnSignpost time![edit]

The UnSignpost
The periodical without any junk in its trunk!

The UnSignpost is back, baby! (And also a little bit of front)[edit]

The UnSignpost
Because if the rumors don't spread at the salon, we must spread them in the news.


For the edits on The Last of Us, I didn't know it was PS only. Great game, eh? I did it 3 times. Talk Mattsnow 16:09, 11 December 2014 (UTC)

Vote, Vote, Vote[edit]

It's that time of the year again! We're going to be showing off our Top Ten Articles of 2014 soon but so far, very few people have voted. It's all up to you to decide what's the best of the best! Go to Forum:Top 10 Articles of 2014 and vote now! --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 02:21, 30 January 2015 (UTC)

Happy Monkey Time!!![edit]


Happy Monkey has been scratching his coconut sized balls for days almost bursting with anticipation of the competition. Remember...the articles are not judged by which is most likely to be a featured article. 30 points are awarded...10 each for originality, creativity and making you laugh. Don't forget the originality and creativity. You can slightly modify the topic if you wish to put it in a different space (unbooks, unreviews, unpoetry etc). If you have any doubt...ask Shabidoo.

Your topic is:

Taylor Swift

Good luck and have fun. You have 48 hours from the moment this was posted. Happy monkey has very itchy and blue coconuts to take care of! RAH RAH RAH!!! ShabiDOO 22:57, 31 July 2015 (UTC)

Remember that collab?[edit]

Hey Scofield! Remember the collab Orchids we worked on back in 2011? Well I'm trying to polish it off, add one more section and get it featured. Why don't you come back for a little bit and help us finish it off? Would be great to collab again and see you. Chars ShabiDOO 13:21, 3 January 2021 (UTC)

I nominated it for VFH! ShabiDOO 19:32, 22 January 2021 (UTC)
Whoa, did I actually co-write that 10 years ago? Sorry for the late reply, but damn time flies. --Lord Scofield Stark 18:27, 19 February 2021 (UTC)

Happy Monkey Competition 2021[edit]


Hey its HAPPY MONKEY TIME 2021 (Feb 21-28). Your favourite writing competition where we write articles on one another's suggested topics. Go ahead and sign up because the more users we have competiting the more ridonculously fun it is. If you don't wanna write you can sign up to judge! Sing up here. Remember it's not about writing a sure fire VFH article, but pushing the limits of your originality and creativity and spitting out an article on a topic you had never thought about writing before. Also...Shabidoo will love you forever and owe you like a zillion favours for it. He will literally do anything to please you if it means you participate. Happy Monkey Farts!!! ShabiDOO 15:32, 10 February 2021 (UTC)

Happy Monkey Competition Topic[edit]


Hey. Ready to dig deep into your creative juices? Your topic for the Happy Monkey Competition is:
Pagan tortillas.
Please write an article on this topic in your userspace/sandbox (if you don't know how to do so just reply here and I'll help you set it up). You have one week starting right now to complete an article. It can be anything (you can write a standard article, something off the wall, a news piece, an unbook...whatever you like). Remember that you are being judged quite strictly and equally in points by three categories: Originality, creativity (with the topic) and humour. Being original is as important as being funny (you can reference other works if you like...just do it in an original way). So go outside of your comfort box, be bold and write something you've never written before. Most importantly have fun. Happy monkey wishes you luck and pisses all over your face. ShabiDOO 21:18, 21 February 2021 (UTC)

Hey there. You still have until Sunday to write. Hope you can finish an article :) ShabiDOO 00:37, 25 February 2021 (UTC)

The Happy Monkey Competition is ending soon[edit]

Hi Scofield!

The Happy Monkey Competition 2021 ends in less than 22 hours! Please make sure that you article is sufficiently good in quality by the time this time limit elapses, since your article will be judged, regardless of quality, at the aforementioned time.

Remember that you will be judged on:

  • Originality
  • Humour
  • Creativity, with the topic

Good luck! May Sophia be with you, Charlie the bot (talk) 02:07, 28 February 2021 (UTC)

Since the jig is up..[edit]

Now that the HMC entries are already locked for judging I just want to reveal that the pagan tortillas topic you wrote on was sent by me and I think you did a great job with it! Good luck with the competition scobadude Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz Zzz...morning? 15:16, 1 March, 2021 (UTC)

That's funny, because I was the one who suggested the Loot boxes topic. --Lord Scofield Stark 20:02, 2 March 2021 (UTC)

Scofield comes out of nowhere and WINS HAPPY MONKEY!!!![edit]


Scofield. You were in retirement, come here and write and article and win HMC 2021! Your article was out of this world and written well in the true tradition of WTF originality and creativity. I will have urea tortillas on my mind for quite a well. A well deserved win. I truly hope you work on it and feature it!

You article Pagan Tortillas scored 91/120 points.

You can see the full scores and feed back for your article here.

Full competition scores and results are here.

Consider telling 1st and 2nd place how awful their articles were and how you totally should have won!

Thanks again and happy monkey lovingly farts all over your article. ShabiDOO 10:51, 7 March 2021 (UTC)

Happy Monkey Competition articles[edit]

Hi Scofield! I just wanted to remind you all that you may now freely move the articles you have written for the Happy Monkey Competition '21 into mainspace, and subsequenty, say, throw 'em into VFH or something. Everything's now in your control!

Congratulations to Scofield, Cat and Hipponias for scoring the most points this year! The articles this year were of very high quality; I sure do hope that you can replicate such impressive performance once Poo Lit Surprise comes along! Honorable mention goes to WohMi, who managed to score the most points per word used: 5.8 points per word!

Have a great day, and may Sophia bless you! Charlie the bot (talk) 00:49, 8 March 2021 (UTC)

I'm really glad you're still working on your article :) ShabiDOO 21:13, 27 March 2021 (UTC)

UnSignpost delivery[edit]

This is a telemarketing version of the UnSignpost, which has been provided to all active Uncyclopedians (selected by Cassie) free of charge. Enjoy! MediaWiki message delivery (talk) 01:52, 1 May 2021 (UTC)

The UnSignpost
The periodical without any junk in its trunk!

UnSignpost Home Delivery for May 1st, 2021[edit]

The UnSignpost
The periodical without any junk in its trunk!

It's beginning to look a lot like…[edit]

See you next year! The first annual *Kiss My Ass* Holiday Competition has officially ended for 2021


Up for grabs is the coveted Clark Griswold Award for Holiday Cheer. Who will be crowned Holiday Victor?
Judgement day is upon ye!

Seasons Greetings!

It's that special time of year. A wonderful time for friends and family to rejoice in gaiety. Not you! You usually spend all of your hard-earned money on gifts for them, and now you just want to hibernate until your finances recuperate. Well, here at Uncyclopedia, entering our newest competition won't cost you a penny Sign Up Today! (pretty please)  – Zana Dark  talk to me  AJTA (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 13:22, 13 December 2021