Just as lame and boring as a horse race, except without the gambling.
Predictably (and because let's face it, nothing else is happening on the site), the admin election takes the lead story. For those of you living under a rock and those that are just plain slow, Kip the Dip is leading the race by far (+19) and should win be a few lengths, this is definitely because of how hard his jockey is riding him. Cat the Colourful is trailing at second with +13, followed by Leverage at +8 and Banzaikitten at +6. Other notable mentions include Aleister, Mr-ex777, Lost LabyrinthMattsnow and DungeonSiegeAddict510 who have all succeeded in avoiding the highly embarrassing score of getting +1 or less. Feel free to message the losers with negative scores and point and laugh a lot hahaha.
It shuld be no surprise that the page has been mercilessly trolled with other complete joke nominations including The Chief of AIDS and The Zombie of AIDS.
If you haven't been to the forum yet to cast your vote, do it today! Uncyclopedia admin elections: Twice the drama, half the fat!
This story is nothing short of a PSA, circle-jerking with traces of vote whoring in as well. If you are reading this, you should vote on VFH. VFH voting takes very effort and makes it, at the very least appear, that we have active users. So get down there some time today and vote on all the articles. Some might say you need to actually read them first, well this is (probably) a good idea, but do bear in mind that we don't actually know if you've read it or not. And unlike, when you didn't read Hamlet in your 9th grade English class there is not going to be a surprise test on the matter.[citation needed]
You should also go vote on Frosty's article(s) currently on VFH, it's the least you could do after he SINGLE HANDEDLY wrote this terrible newspaper for you. If you don't, the length of his e-penis will decrease considerably all because he didn't get another feature on a website with a userbase smaller than an Eastern Siberian village.
Biopic
This week's biopic is the user named TheRealSexyFluttershy, which just goes to show how desperate we are for biopics that we are willing to write about literally anyone who shows a vague interest or presence in the site. TheRealSexyFluttershy can be found on The Internet Relay Chats discussing things that have relevance to ponies and poopdick on a disturbingly regular basis. However, he does occasionally make the odd presence on the Wiki and even more occasionally he makes useful edits to some page or another.
If you appreciate him go to his talk page and thank him for his noble contributions in the field of poopdick, if you don't appreciate him please feel free to spam his page with poopdick (although he may start furiously masturbating).
From The Logs
16:25, 25 July 2014 ChiefjusticeDS (talk | contribs) blocked Bizzeebeever (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (account creation disabled, autoblock disabled) (You look like you're doing something important right now. Are you? What is it? Why are you doing it? Did I break it? Would that be bad?)
11:46, 26 July 2014 Frosty (talk | contribs) blocked ChiefjusticeDS (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (account creation disabled) (Asking for it, begging for it actually.)
09:24, 29 July 2014 Bizzeebeever (talk | contribs) blocked 173.44.44.121 (talk) with an expiry time of 6 months (anonymous users only, account creation disabled) (Now sit in your corner and think about what you've done)
Not that much over a year ago, TKF left us with the classic "I'm quitting forever in a highly obnoxious and auto-fellating manor". For about 66 seconds Uncyclopedians everywhere were sad, we all fapped in sadness at the loss of our beloved TKF and things were never going to be quite the same again. Then we all thought to ourselves "good riddance, I hope he contracts Anthrax and dies."
No surprise, but he has come back under the highly illusive nickname "Argylesocks" which is obviously not somebodies sockpuppet because it contains the word socks in it. I mean, if you were a sockpuppet would you give it away so easily? Flawless logic! He can also be found on IRC chatting casually under the "dcik", showing his support for "The Dyslexia Support Foundation".
Head over to his user page and talk page to find out details about his awesome "Uncyclopedia Retrospect project" which is probably some grand social experiment documenting the life and times of hopeless losers on the internet, but hey it SOUNDED COOL.
Uncyclopedia has recently had an infestation. An infestation of drama. Drama is bad mmkay? Aside from the obvious fact users get banned, users quit and people proceed to hate each other to the point where you would rub hot English Mustard into their prolapsed anus if you ever saw them in the street, drama distracts you from writing. As does reading the UnSignpost. But reading the UnSignpost is more constructive as the constant not so subliminal messaging telling you to write articles is plastered everywhere. WRITE ARTICLES.
But drama can be entertaining when coupled with cheap scotch and buttered popcorn to the humble obverser. But mainly it's bad, so stop it. No matter how funny you think your drama mongering will never compete with Asperger's Syndrome is no laughing matter... ...and the sequelrest of the trilogy.
Biopic
This week's biopic is Chaoarren, which if you haven't meet him yet... You suck basically. He can be found on IRC, occasionally editing the Wiki and frequently reporting established users to Ban patrol because "they made fun of him in his pink skirt" or "he smells funny". Chaoarren has also done the highly laughable feat of running dead last in the most vote rigged admin election in history, where losers like Kip the Dip and Colin actually stand a chance of winning losing.
He's also a noob that hasn't buggered off yet. I wish more of them were like you Chaoarren... I really do...
From The Logs
11:50, 6 August 2014 Bizzeebeever (talk | contribs) blocked 107.182.115.32 (talk) with an expiry time of 6 months (anonymous users only, account creation disabled) (You are the weakest Chink. Goodbye.)
06:40, 6 August 2014 Zombiebaron (talk | contribs) blocked XReaper (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (account creation disabled) (Horse dick)
06:14, 5 August 2014 Bizzeebeever (talk | contribs) blocked 107.182.116.97 (talk) with an expiry time of 6 months (anonymous users only, account creation disabled) (Enjoy this beefy cock.)
It was dark times being without Uncyclopedia. Maybe if I got out of the dark and went outside once in while it would be less dark. But you know, lazy me.
I plan to visit Uncyclopedia and do my 'thang (wink wink) at least once a week. But I hold no promises because you can't trust me. I'm a hoe and 3!OH!3 told you to NOT TRUST HOES.
However, I'm sure you guys found out why I was absent from the site for a good 200 years 4+ months and it was because my old laptop KOed and I finally got a new one for school.
So that means I won't be uploading images of Madiq. (pictured)...
Madiq.
I missed you, just kidding, but really.
However, I didn't forget you, maybe sometimes,
Is this a haiku or something? My grammar sucks too.
They expect sacrifices. So chop, chop. Make haste.
Biopic
This weeks biopic is on someone who doesn't read Uncyclopedia (but they will because we will make them through laughter har har). Her name is Elizabeth and she's from Australia. She showed Sir Peasewhizz her tits...
04:26, August 13, 2014 Frosty (talk | contribs) blocked Bizzeebeever (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (threatening to ban me)
15:04, August 12, 2014 Zombiebaron (talk | contribs) resurrected Zombiebaron (talk | contribs) (Achievement Unlocked: Unban yourself one minute before your ban expires)
Welcome to another no longer sporadic edition of Unsignpost. Yes, the quantity of USP's being written has gone through the roof in the last few weeks and as such there is absolutely nothing to report- hence why people who have previously never written one of these are being roped in. One thing of note that has changed is I am now an admin and as such can block RAHB with impunity. God I love to block RAHB. There is nothing quite like the fizzy rush in the root of your penis and the dizzy thrill you get in your anus when blocking RAHB. I urge all who can to try it.
Banzaikitten warns you that this UnSignpost may change your sexual orientation.
But anyway, I'm an admin now and I'm going to try and be the best admin that I can be, and judging from my recent attempt at changing the featured article, and all the admins reactions to my fuck up, the best admin I can be is one who does absolutely no administration work and just writes the occasional UnNews. Thanks for all your votes.
I know I've already spoken about RAHB but god help me I just can't stop. We all like voting and there is a very important vote occuring right now. You, yes you, could decide what sexuality RAHB is. Come the end of the vote RAHB sexuality will be decided for him and he will have to perform sexual acts of that nature for the rest of time. I'm hoping Ponies wins.
As the curate and the moral compass of this sinful land I must say that I have been appalled at the terrible news that my milkman brought to me. Although I don't remember his exact words, I'll try to reconstruct his speech from my memory, which - and for this I thank God - I am still honored to possess, despite my respectable age.
“
Now, I heard Mr What's-his-name talk to his son about something he heard in the neighbor's house, which I didn't hear, but Mr. What's-his-name-again described it so well that I am positive I can repeat it almost word-by-word. So his neighbor was giving his dog its food and commenced discussing our village's events with it, Mrs. Elizabeth soon became the topic of the conversation, and she, as you know, has a daughter... And a cat. Oh, what a fine Siamese cat! But it is of no relation to our current subject. So e man and his pet chattered on and on and, apparently, that dog ... oh, I mean the man (but, you know, from a distance you really can't tell the difference) uttered that "Mrs. Elizabeth's daughter once read an educational page on the Internet, which talked about homosexuality and how you cure it." And can you guess who the author its author was? Mr. Frosty, the man who lives next door to you!
”
These were the words of the milkman. However, this isn't all. I was not terrified when I heard this, because teaching fellow villagers to cure an abominable disease, which homosexuality certainly is, is a commendable act from Mr. Frosty's part, especially if it was done with no impulse other than to save good Christians.
Alas, I, we have been greatly deceived in our trust! Beware of the appearances, especially when they are found on the unholy Internet!
Ah, wicked men! I, your curate, willing to help your ungrateful souls, decided to try the so-praised advice of Mr. Frosty on myself and proceeded to accomplish it yesterday. I did everything he said to the very last phrase and - I swear by the Holy Grail - it didn't work!
Biopic
bakpak2hvy is a guy who frequently lurks on our IRC without saying anything. The other day he said something.
From The Logs
15:59, August 16, 2014 Cat the Colourful (talk | contribs) blocked Chaoarren (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ([22:58] <Chaoarren> Can I get joke banned? :D)
15:00, August 15, 2014 Lost Labyrinth (talk | contribs) blocked DungeonSiegeAddict510 (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second (As you aided my quest to take over Uncyclopedia, have a block. I was meant to give this to you earlier but you were already banned for 40 minutes. Have a 1 second extension!)
05:57, August 15, 2014 Banzaikitten (talk | contribs) blocked Cat the Colourful (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 10 seconds (Fuck Finland)
Did you know that every ten seconds: another ten seconds kicks in? Yeah, mind equals blown right now, eh? Did you know that the return of one legendary user triggers other legendary users to return as well? When Argylesocks returned from his previous state (not Blue Mountain), it only was a matter of time until the legend named MadMax returned from his couple-of-months-long sojourn in the wild country known as Ethiopia. MadMax does not steal the few supplies of food Ethiopia has, you sick fuck! HE HAS A SOUL.
For those who have heard of the legendary Xamralco, he has returned to. He is an admin and a fantastic writer. We love him. You love. YOU LOVE HIM.
Okay? Okay.
Now if anyone sees Dawg, slap him and tell him to come back. And for Olipro... gosh. I can't even.
Here is a random picture of a stack of gold. Craving it? Good.
We were once surpassing the votes per article goal of 10 not much longer than a week ago. SHAME! HOW COULD WE HAVE LET THIS DROP TO NEARLY 5 OUT OF 10?! EVERYBODY, HEADS DOWN!
When I say you can put your heads up, you will all go and vote on the feature nominations. Okay? And no laughing or detention!
Biopic
For this edition of your favorite paper, the USP, we had the chance to get the Biopic for one of the biggest badasses to ever live. That person/thingy/chatter was auror, whom we found frolicking in our IRC channel one evening.
When we asked auror if she would like to be Biopic'ed (did I spell that right? SPELL CHECK PLS) she gave a powerful speech.
“
no
”
Thank you! Give it up for auror!
From The Logs
00:54, September 1, 2014 Bizzeebeever (talk | contribs) blocked IlanaZkhfzm (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (user did not suck Leverage's cock as promised)
16:02, August 31, 2014 Leverage (talk | contribs) blocked AleidaJbjo (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (sister did not suck my cock as promised)
12:24, August 29, 2014 Kip the Dip (talk | contribs) blocked Electric Pope (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 7 centuries, 4 decades, 8 years, 364 days, 14 hours, 38 minutes and 24 seconds (Annoying douchebag.)
Hi, My name is Sir Peasewhizz. Stop hurling babies at me! STAHP! READER PLS. STAHP.
It is days like these when I realize what a cruel world we live in. It seems that Pee Review has bitten the dust. For just a few minutes of your day and some cash you can help solve this crisis. Seriously, you hoes.
Here is a random picture of a stack of gold. Craving it? Good.
We were once surpassing the votes per article goal of 10 not much longer than a week ago. SHAME! HOW COULD WE HAVE LET THIS DROP TO NEARLY 5 OUT OF 10?! EVERYBODY, HEADS DOWN!
When I say you can put your heads up, you will all go and vote on the feature nominations. Okay? And no laughing or detention!
Yes, I copied this from the last issue of the USP, you boner goblins. That picture of gold? That was also from the last issue, as well.
There has recently (a certain amount of time before the latest UnSignpost issue) been a lot of talk about creating an Uncyclopedia App as well as an Uncyclospecies. The idea consists in producing and selling the app which will transform all the human beings who use them into Uncyclopedians. The majority of the users (about 50% of those two who really participated) found this idea great (think that it is funny to talk about) and maybe even began working on it (asked someone else to think about it). Nothing else is known about them, as they disappeared soon after the first experiments were held.
The main problem this project has is that, in fact, nobody knows how to create an app. In addition to this, there is no money, as most of it was spent on Ferraris, that were supposed to bring more money but didn't. Finally, some people think that it might be harmful for the environment (nobody cares).
The project is currently being discussed (some users still post random spam on the forum) and with a certain probability the app is going to be created in nearby future (it is never going be to created but some people do think about it).
Biopic
Alas, an actual Biopic for SEPTEMBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Today, the Biopic will be on a man who carries the identity, MrC. He was doing some hardcore crunches while he was surfing the IRC and thus we gained a little more info this is a run on sentence fuk yea murica.
His origin: "Some Uncyclopedians messed around in another channel recently. After hearing all the stories and rumors, I figured I'd like to see for myself."
22:20, September 10, 2014 Bizzeebeever (talk | contribs) blocked LorrineLundy (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (Orange is the new black. Welcome to Internet Jail, Lorrine.)
22:14, September 10, 2014 Bizzeebeever (talk | contribs) blocked CharissSparrow (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (Dude, your gay porn name is lame)
22:12, September 10, 2014 Bizzeebeever (talk | contribs) blocked VictorForest (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (Eat my crotch-forest, Victor.)
Previously, in the past, Uncyclopedia has done a project called Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization, which mimics is a battle against crap-quality articles. We recently have finished the colonization of Albert Einstein, because fuck we didn't need a good article on him before amiright?
Anyways I'm telling you this because it would be soooo sweet if we could get this running again... and I kinda need Xamralco or any other admin to combine histories again because I just found out I shouldn't have moved the project myself...
Vote for highlights, you giant boner goblins. (third issue in a row)
Here is a random picture of a stack of gold. Craving it? Good.
We were once surpassing the votes per article goal of 10 not much longer than a week ago. SHAME! HOW COULD WE HAVE LET THIS DROP TO NEARLY 5 OUT OF 10?! EVERYBODY, HEADS DOWN!
When I say you can put your heads up, you will all go and vote on the feature nominations. Okay? And no laughing or detention!
Wow a third week of using the same entry in a row? GEEZ.
Biopic
Nahhh. I don't really feel like it!
From The Logs
13:13, September 17, 2014 Lost Labyrinth (talk | contribs) blocked WolfganKix (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (Wolfgan's arse is going to get Kix if he doesn't stop making accounts here.)
13:12, September 17, 2014 Lost Labyrinth (talk | contribs) blocked JanetteMelton (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (You brought your girlfriend with you? How sweet. She can fuck off too once she's tossed me off.)
13:11, September 17, 2014 Lost Labyrinth (talk | contribs) blocked AndreBecker (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (OMG A SPAMBOT! I've missed seeing you around man. Where you been these past few days? It's been so emotional. Okay, emotional reunion is over. Now fuck off.)
So apparently, October follows September. As we all know, Halloween follows September. This means that I get to make a suggestion, amirite?
So I was thinking long and hard one day (which was literally five minutes not twenty-four hours) about something cool we could do for Halloween this year. No, I don't mean egg your neighbor's house... I was thinking maybe we could feature something on Halloween?
Okay yes, I know this is something we basically do every year, and I know you are reading this preparing to accuse me of filling space... and you'd be right.
Biopic
Nahhh. I don't really feel like it!
From The Logs
12:34, September 25, 2014 Colin "All your base" Heaney (talk | contribs) blocked Banzaikitten (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 hour and 9 minutes (You're like the Grinch, except it's your cock that's three sizes too small.)
14:35, September 24, 2014 Lost Labyrinth (talk | contribs) blocked 173.213.80.213 (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (Your free trial of Uncyclopedia has expired.)
07:05, September 24, 2014 Leverage (talk | contribs) blocked JessieTedesco (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (fuck Jessie Tedesco, he gets his clothes from Tecso)
As we all know, a Texan man has brought the Ebola virus to the United States of America. And as country, we are all freaking out. Even Obama, who never freaks out, has freaked out. He now refuses to kiss Michelle because he has become a germophobe.
Anywho, we here at Uncyclopedia have determined that Ebola can be avoided by simple measures. We encourage everyone to wash their hands, especially after ferocious masturbation. Remember kids, diseases come for hookers. So stay away from hookers as well.
Biopic
Nahhh. I don't really feel like it again!
From The Logs
12:34, September 25, 2014 Leverage (talk | contribs) blocked 178.137.80.72 (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (dickery)
15:07, September 28, 2014 Lost Labyrinth (talk | contribs) blocked 23.231.7.217 (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (The Maitri Inthusut has ordered us to block editing permanently for all residents of the Phuket Province.)
13:39, September 28, 2014 Leverage (talk | contribs) blocked Leanna Hollway (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (she wouldn't go the "holl way" with me)
02:04, October 12, 2014 Xamralco (talk | contribs) resurrected Xamralco (talk | contribs) (I have frostbite on my nipples.)
01:58, October 12, 2014 Frosty (talk | contribs) blocked Xamralco (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 years, 6 hours, 32 minutes and 24 seconds (Obligatory retaliation ban)
01:46, October 12, 2014 Xamralco (talk | contribs) blocked Frosty (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 seconds (Obligatory welcome back block)
Before time began there was the cube. Wait, hold on... yeah wrong script. Okay, let's start again. Before the internet was cool, there was no Uncyclopedia. This is because before Uncyclopedia was a website, there was this awful site for information that anybody could edit called Wikipedia. There was also catfishes and cocks.
That all changed back in 2005. When Uncyclopedia was established/founded/spawned/born/emerged/created, the internet took off. Not literally, but metaphorically... or something. The fact remains that the world, with the introduction of Unyclopedia, began to gain faith in the internet. The Amish began to use electricity after Uncyclopedia was established!
And our legacy could fade away; not unlike my basketball trick shot.
All jokes aside, Uncyclopedia may be content-free, as one could say, but it is not free to run. Uncyclopedia runs on a server and this requires money. We don't mean like the billions Obama requires, but it still needs a bit of money to be a legendary thing.
How does Wikipedia stay up then? Well, we're not Wikipedia. We're run by no employees and we're instead run by dedicated users who spend their time editing/fucking with the site that they love. Uncyclopedia is nearly ten years old, so it's not like the joy of "uncyclopediating" isn't real. It's in the Webster Dictionary.
Not every one is rich either, in fact, we're all kinda bland. Money doesn't grow on trees. Now we're not gonna hold you for ransom and we sure as hell aren't going to guilt you into donating to our cause... but think about the children that would starve without us!
Basically, read more about it here. Thanks for your time.
If you can't donate, don't. We won't force you to do something we can't ourselves.
You a fool? I wouldn't do another biopic if I felt like it! You a fool? I wouldn't do another biopic if I felt like it! You a fool? I wouldn't do another biopic if I felt like it! You a fool? I wouldn't do another biopic if I felt like it! You a fool? I wouldn't do another biopic if I felt like it! You a fool? I wouldn't do another biopic if I felt like it! You a fool? I wouldn't do another biopic if I felt like it!
From The Logs
05:54, November 7, 2014 Leverage (talk | contribs) blocked DickSankthptxd with an expiry time of infinite (talk | contribs) (his dick sank)
22:48, October 29, 2014 Xamralco (talk | contribs) blocked 50.115.173.177 (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 month (made me read some gay book)
15:45, October 29, 2014 Lost Labyrinth (talk | contribs) blocked Zficysll (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (Why bother trying to spam Uncyclopedia? If you're as good with girls as you are at hitting abuse filters then I'm sure you'll have no problem getting laid.)
It's that time of the year again! We're going to be showing off our Top Ten Articles of 2014 soon but so far, very few people have voted. It's all up to you to decide what's the best of the best! Go to Forum:Top 10 Articles of 2014 and vote now! --SirXamRalcothe Mediocre 02:21, 30 January 2015 (UTC)
Happy Monkey has been scratching his coconut sized balls for days almost bursting with anticipation of the competition. Remember...the articles are not judged by which is most likely to be a featured article. 30 points are awarded...10 each for originality, creativity and making you laugh. Don't forget the originality and creativity. You can slightly modify the topic if you wish to put it in a different space (unbooks, unreviews, unpoetry etc). If you have any doubt...ask Shabidoo.
Your topic is:
Taylor Swift
Good luck and have fun. You have 48 hours from the moment this was posted. Happy monkey has very itchy and blue coconuts to take care of! RAH RAH RAH!!! ShabiDOO 22:57, 31 July 2015 (UTC)
Hey Scofield! Remember the collab Orchids we worked on back in 2011? Well I'm trying to polish it off, add one more section and get it featured. Why don't you come back for a little bit and help us finish it off? Would be great to collab again and see you. Chars ShabiDOO 13:21, 3 January 2021 (UTC)
I nominated it for VFH! ShabiDOO 19:32, 22 January 2021 (UTC)
Whoa, did I actually co-write that 10 years ago? Sorry for the late reply, but damn time flies. --LordScofieldStark 18:27, 19 February 2021 (UTC)
Hey its HAPPY MONKEY TIME 2021 (Feb 21-28). Your favourite writing competition where we write articles on one another's suggested topics. Go ahead and sign up because the more users we have competiting the more ridonculously fun it is. If you don't wanna write you can sign up to judge! Sing up here. Remember it's not about writing a sure fire VFH article, but pushing the limits of your originality and creativity and spitting out an article on a topic you had never thought about writing before. Also...Shabidoo will love you forever and owe you like a zillion favours for it. He will literally do anything to please you if it means you participate. Happy Monkey Farts!!! ShabiDOO 15:32, 10 February 2021 (UTC)
Hey. Ready to dig deep into your creative juices? Your topic for the Happy Monkey Competition is: Pagan tortillas.
Please write an article on this topic in your userspace/sandbox (if you don't know how to do so just reply here and I'll help you set it up). You have one week starting right now to complete an article. It can be anything (you can write a standard article, something off the wall, a news piece, an unbook...whatever you like). Remember that you are being judged quite strictly and equally in points by three categories: Originality, creativity (with the topic) and humour. Being original is as important as being funny (you can reference other works if you like...just do it in an original way). So go outside of your comfort box, be bold and write something you've never written before. Most importantly have fun. Happy monkey wishes you luck and pisses all over your face. ShabiDOO 21:18, 21 February 2021 (UTC)
Hey there. You still have until Sunday to write. Hope you can finish an article :) ShabiDOO 00:37, 25 February 2021 (UTC)
The Happy Monkey Competition is ending soon[edit source]
Hi Scofield!
The Happy Monkey Competition 2021 ends in less than 22 hours! Please make sure that you article is sufficiently good in quality by the time this time limit elapses, since your article will be judged, regardless of quality, at the aforementioned time.
Remember that you will be judged on:
Originality
Humour
Creativity, with the topic
Good luck! May Sophia be with you, Charlie the bot (talk) 02:07, 28 February 2021 (UTC)
Now that the HMC entries are already locked for judging I just want to reveal that the pagan tortillas topic you wrote on was sent by me and I think you did a great job with it! Good luck with the competition scobadude Cat the Colourful(Feed me!)Zzz15:16, 1March, 2021(UTC)
That's funny, because I was the one who suggested the Loot boxes topic. --LordScofieldStark 20:02, 2 March 2021 (UTC)
Scofield comes out of nowhere and WINS HAPPY MONKEY!!!![edit source]
Scofield. You were in retirement, come here and write and article and win HMC 2021! Your article was out of this world and written well in the true tradition of WTF originality and creativity. I will have urea tortillas on my mind for quite a well. A well deserved win. I truly hope you work on it and feature it!
Hi Scofield! I just wanted to remind you all that you may now freely move the articles you have written for the Happy Monkey Competition '21 into mainspace, and subsequenty, say, throw 'em into VFH or something. Everything's now in your control!
Congratulations to Scofield, Cat and Hipponias for scoring the most points this year! The articles this year were of very high quality; I sure do hope that you can replicate such impressive performance once Poo Lit Surprise comes along! Honorable mention goes to WohMi, who managed to score the most points per word used: 5.8 points per word!
Have a great day, and may Sophia bless you! Charlie the bot (talk) 00:49, 8 March 2021 (UTC)
I'm really glad you're still working on your article :) ShabiDOO 21:13, 27 March 2021 (UTC)
This is a telemarketing version of the UnSignpost, which has been provided to all active Uncyclopedians (selected by Cassie) free of charge. Enjoy! MediaWiki message delivery (talk) 01:52, 1 May 2021 (UTC)
Following an incredible (by 2021 Uncyclopedian standards) 16 VFS votes, Uncyclopedia's most active administrator has initiated their transition to female. Said admin, now known publicly as Cassie, has had a talk page that often inflated by 80,000 bytes or more weekly, and singlehandedly managed a vast variety of things, including (but not limited to): vandal whipping, being the school principal, managing VFH, and more. "Vandalism, eh? Fuck off already," they said, whilst throwing bags of feces at our new dumpyard.
Vote for Sandwiches: Triple Resignation, Quintuple the Drama
Following the resignation of two of our longtimemost bureaucrats, EMC and Zombiebaron, in addition to the resignation of admin CandidToaster, a new wave rejuvenated much of the now-ancient television show Vote for Sandwiches. MrX and Hipponias quickly climbed the ranks; Shabidoo received the same treatment, but ultimately withdrew. Zana Dark and JJPMaster were both nominated for a new category, interface operator, instead of the traditional sandwich role granted.
Uncyclopedia's Technologies are Finally Modernized
it has been a long time in the making, but Uncyclopedia's editing technologies have finally been optimized for the new decade. An introduction of a new extended-confirmed protection level has enabled famous articles, such as AAAAAAAAA!, to see the light of commoners' editing again. Utilities such as Huggle, RedWarn, CurateThisPage, autoarchiving, and a lot more has been implemented thanks to JJPMaster. Many gnomes have been working on this; as such, please treat their work with respect!
Biopic
This edition's biopic is about the joy of templating. Templating is a fine art which can be practiced on Uncyclopedia, its parody Wikipedia, and so many other places. It can furthermore be expanded to "module coding", which produces the same stuff albeit in a much more efficient and dynamic way. Come try templating now!
From The Logs
1 May 2021 Cassie renamed user Redacted (8224 edits) to Cassie (Per message here)
10 April 2021 JJPMaster (38 bytes) (-13) . . (Reverting edit(s) by Gale5050 (talk) to rev. 6045969 by Celeste:shhhhhhhhhhh (RW 16.1dev))
22 February 2021 Cassie blocked JJPMaster with an expiration time of 4 hours and 20 minutes (account creation disabled) (You [[Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit
Following 1.5+ years of hiatus, Cassie has taken the lead, in a unilateral albeit undramatic manner, and has designated themselves as the lead editor of the UnSignpost.
Following an incredible (by 2021 Uncyclopedian standards) 16 VFS votes, Uncyclopedia's most active administrator has initiated their transition to female. Said admin, now known publicly as Cassie, has had a talk page that often inflated by 80,000 bytes or more weekly, and singlehandedly managed a vast variety of things, including (but not limited to): vandal whipping, being the school principal, managing VFH, and more. "Vandalism, eh? Fuck off already," they said, whilst throwing bags of feces at our new dumpyard.
Vote for Sandwiches: Triple Resignation, Quintuple the Drama
Following the resignation of two of our longtimemost bureaucrats, EMC and Zombiebaron, in addition to the resignation of admin CandidToaster, a new wave rejuvenated much of the now-ancient television show Vote for Sandwiches. MrX and Hipponias quickly climbed the ranks; Shabidoo received the same treatment, but ultimately withdrew. Zana Dark and JJPMaster were both nominated for a new category, interface operator, instead of the traditional sandwich role granted.
Uncyclopedia's Technologies are Finally Modernized
it has been a long time in the making, but Uncyclopedia's editing technologies have finally been optimized for the new decade. An introduction of a new extended-confirmed protection level has enabled famous articles, such as AAAAAAAAA!, to see the light of commoners' editing again. Utilities such as Huggle, RedWarn, CurateThisPage, autoarchiving, and a lot more has been implemented thanks to JJPMaster. Many gnomes have been working on this; as such, please treat their work with respect!
Biopic
This edition's biopic is about the joy of templating. Templating is a fine art which can be practiced on Uncyclopedia, its parody Wikipedia, and so many other places. It can furthermore be expanded to "module coding", which produces the same stuff albeit in a much more efficient and dynamic way. Come try templating now!
From The Logs
1 May 2021 Cassie renamed user Redacted (8224 edits) to Cassie (Per message here)
10 April 2021 JJPMaster (38 bytes) (-13) . . (Reverting edit(s) by Gale5050 (talk) to rev. 6045969 by Celeste:shhhhhhhhhhh (RW 16.1dev))
22 February 2021 Cassie blocked JJPMaster with an expiration time of 4 hours and 20 minutes (account creation disabled) (You [[Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit
Following 1.5+ years of hiatus, Cassie has taken the lead, in a unilateral albeit undramatic manner, and has designated themselves as the lead editor of the UnSignpost.
This page is a [[:Uncyclopedia:Kiss My Ass Holiday Competition|Template:Kiss My Ass/ Holiday Competition]] entry. }}
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Seasons Greetings!
It's that special time of year. A wonderful time for friends and family to rejoice in gaiety. Not you! You usually spend all of your hard-earned money on gifts for them, and now you just want to hibernate until your finances recuperate. Well, here at Uncyclopedia, entering our newest competition won't cost you a penn Sign Up Today!(pretty please) ~Formerly Annoying Crap 13:22, 13 December 2021
