User talk:Bizzeebeever/1

Welcome!

Hello, Bizzeebeever, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

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Templates

Uncyclopedia has enough templates. Please don't add more. Thank you. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 03:32 Jul 14, 2011

Thanx...

...from reviewing my Final Fantasy V. It was a cool review. Maybe you should learn how to use the Pee Review-template? I`d like to see my "scores". And, when your hopefully adding the scores, remember to watch the original version what I haven`t contributed yet, and tell me which one`s the better one? I`d like to know. At your service, OMG!!! It`s Cat the Colourful, Jesus Christ!!! 11:52 21 July 2011

Cat: you're welcome for my crummy review; I know how to use the template, I just didn't want to, because I don't think I've gotten a feel for the "average" article around here. (There's a pretty vast range.) I think your revision falls right about in the middle, though, which is why I said you should keep working on it, to improve it.

I did take a look at the original version, and I have to say, yes, it was quite terrible. The people who wrote it definitely weren't making an effort. I can say for you, that you are at least trying. Keep it up. If you need anymore advice, ask any time. I'll try to help if I can, and if I can't, I'll be happy to screw it up completely for you! ⇒»Bizzeebeever  (this user has been deleted) 13:34, July 21, 2011 (UTC)

Burn!

Change your signature to not resemble mine in the least, or your sig will be Obliterated, personally. Thanks, ^{→ (Der_Führerbunker--Wehrmacht Factories)} 21:16, July 22, 2011 (UTC)

I just copied mine from Mhaille's, and changed the flag. But certainly, Sir! How's this? ⇒ BIZZEEBEEVER  (fuck you aimsplode) 22:17, July 22, 2011 (UTC)

Wow! OMG!!! It`s Cat the Colourful, Jesus Christ!!! 12:12 23 July 2011

Incredible. Hey Bizzeebeever, can you change mine to look like that? --ShabiDOO 00:14, July 26, 2011 (UTC)

Pee review

Hey there young Beaver, welcome to the site. If you've got a moment or twelve, please take a look at my comments below the review you did. --Black Flamingo 13:58, July 23, 2011 (UTC)

Cheers for that. Wasn't so hard was it now hmm? Keep up the good work. --Black Flamingo 18:34, July 23, 2011 (UTC)

Yes, Black flamingo, it was QUITE hard. (That's what your mom said.) I broke my hand on that template, you sonofabitch. Congratulations, you are now in my Little Black Book...you know, the one with the gilt letters that simply read, To Eliminate...Dr. Skullthumper knows of it...yeah.

Next time I label something "this is not a review", please don't assume that it is a review. Perhaps it was merely a long comment? Hmm? Hmm? We're allowed to leave long comments on Pees, aren't we? Hmm? Hmm? ⇒»Biz E.B. Ver  (gabble) 00:06, July 24, 2011 (UTC)

Yeah, but that wasn't really a comment, it was a review. You even filled out all the separate review sections. All I'm doing is making sure you get the credit for your efforts. Also, if you need a picture of me for your book I can send you an official press shot. --Black Flamingo 12:30, July 24, 2011 (UTC)

I put "Ceci n'est pas un revue" on it. Does that mean nothing to you, sir!

Anyhoo, I don't want to step on anymore tails than I have in the past three or four weeks, so, thanks, blackflamingo. Carry on. ⇒»Biz E.B. Ver  (gabble) 01:50, July 25, 2011 (UTC)

Actually yeah, I love Magritte. :) --Black Flamingo 19:01, July 25, 2011 (UTC)

:O

Why did you FFW Nigger Dogshit Sandwiches??? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 08:57, 25 July 2011

STOP DELETING MY CRAP

Dear Bizzeebeever,

I'm pretty sure you know who I am, since I'm the one who had put claims that the United States of America's currency was cheesburgers (in which it is), and then you said that it was an incorrect statement and changed it to American Paper. Let me have you know, sir, that I am not an ordinary person. I work for the CIA, FBI, SWAT, DISH, PIZZA4LIFE, and STFU organizations, and I have supreme authority to arrest anyone who dares to interfere with my work. Therefore, I suggest you change back what you wrote, or my men will come to your house, steal all your food, then arrest you and throw you in a cell with Mrs. Jack Black bin Abdul-Rasheed I. I'm pretty sure you don't want that to happen, so I suggest you better get your ass off your fancy-ass couch (which my men will probably steal) and change your claim of currency back to cheeseburger. Thank you, and good day.

Sincerely, --Mr. Bobby Ray aka B.o.B Smith Watsonson Billiam H. Gates Abdul bin Allah bin Laden Samuel de Jew McHussein UpYoursBeyoch D' King-Of-D'-Ring IV 23:34, July 25, 2011 (UTC)

Sir (and I use that term loosely), I'm in the slow, agonizing process of turning that horrible pile of raccoon droppings into something that's actually funny. Changing "American Paper" (which used to be "Chinese Dong", linked to the page "Dong", which, thankyouverymuch, is MUCH funnier in my opinion) isn't helping the process. As for "Fatass America", thank you, I think the article manages to not only GET THAT ACROSS, but DRIVE IT INTO THE GROUND in as many ways as is possible.

Thank you for not reading. ⇒»Biz E.B. Ver  (gabble) 00:41, July 26, 2011 (UTC)

Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

My dearest Bizzeebeever, how are you? I just came from the bathroom where I just had the longest piss of my life. Hope its helpfull! Yes, a pee review can be longer than an article. Let me know any time if you want me to explain anything, suggest anything or look over the article again if you don't hate me after the pee review. Its such a shame that a certain British singer took the whole Norwegian terrorism thing so dead serious huh? ttfn.

That time NIGGERS STOLE MY PAGE during my sojourn on the internet

This is article got 10 votes on VFD. It is a hybrid inside joke, not a random sojourn, so I'd suggest removing the FFW tag. --Mn-z 02:02, July 28, 2011 (UTC)

I'd prefer not to. But, tell you what: why don't you remove the tag yourself? I had no clue this was Uncyclopedia Dramatica, but apparently newbies shouldn't step on the toes of pasty white admins who think the word "nigger", by itself, makes for a spectacular inside joke. I bid you good day, sir. ⇒»Biz E.B. Ver  (gabble) 03:00, July 28, 2011 (UTC)

Dropout

If you don't think you can make the draft, we can just auto-pick for you and you can still set your lineups and trade and manage your team for the rest of the season. Also, you can return to picking your team once you finish whatever personal things you need to tend to, as it typically takes three to four weeks every year. Get back to me about this and if you'd be willing to consider this option. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 22:36, July 28, 2011 (UTC)

Hi! Things have gotten serious for me fairly quickly, and to tell the truth, I wouldn't be on Uncyclopedia right now, if I didn't need a distraction. I probably won't be able to manage my team, so I figured I'd pull out, and open a spot for somebody else. Sorry. Thank you, though. ⇒»Biz E.B. Ver  (gabble) 01:45, July 29, 2011 (UTC)

Sorry to hear that, hope everything works out for you. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:00, July 29, 2011 (UTC)

Ok

Yeah, I listen to the BBC World Service at 11:00PM EST, or as the French call it, "3:00GMT". BTW Your sig look kind of plain. Want me to spruce it up alittle? Just drop me a line if you want it to be.

Thanks, ^{→ (Der_Führerbunker--Wehrmacht Factories)} 01:16, August 3, 2011 (UTC)

Let's see if we can ONCE kill an article over the (repeated) objections of Mhaille

I'm sorry, clearly my opinion is no longer valid here. Thanks for taking the time to make me realise this. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Hell, I's just pilin' on. Don't shoot me! ⇒»Biz E.B. Ver  (gabble) 08:47, August 16, 2011 (UTC)

BAAABAAA

Come on IRC I have no-one to talk to. GOD DAMN IT I'M BORED. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 10:59, August 27, 2011 (UTC)

Hey, be nice.

And assume good faith and all that, will you? The bad faith thing is a joke. That said, I don't know what the deal with this is, but generally we don't go around making sockpuppet accusations without significant basis, so could you please not do that, and be a little less confrontational towards other users, especially when they don't appear to be receptive to it? Mind, if you have something you'd like to come clean about, I'm sure you'll find most of the admins receptive... 1234 ~ 13:11, 8 September 2011

Actually, I've got a good reason for assuming sock puppetry on his part. Anyway, he probably gets the joke, seeing as we were having a meme fight on the Recent UnNews template — up until he cheated, at which point I killed ... uh ... myself off? I think I was thinking of myself as a character at that point. Sleep deprivation. Huh? Where am I?

Who the (expletive) are you? 0.o

*shifty eyes* ⇒»Biz E.B. Ver  (gabble) 13:20, September 8, 2011 (UTC)

What the heck?

Satanist rituals in my IRC?--FcukmanLOOS3R!!! 09:38, September 9, 2011 (UTC)

Regarding your comments

Personal attacks are not welcome here. Outstanding citizen 03:07, September 12, 2011 (UTC)

Hmm. Wasn't aware of having made any personal attacks. Should rectify that. Here goes:

Outstanding citizen is an idiot. Nay, he/she is not merely an idiot, he/she is the culmination of many generations of inbreeding betwixt idiots and imbeciles, a horrific abomination whose genesis is worthy of both Poe and Lovecraft. He/she has no more than two brain cells to rub together, although it is most likely that he/she, having only two brain cells, is unlikely to ever make the attempt. Simply put, Outstanding citizen exists only as an admonishment, from Our Most Holy Lord and Creator on High, God Al-fucking-mighty, against anal sex and sister-fucking. IGNORE THIS ADMONITION AT YOUR PERIL.

How'd I do? ⇒»Biz E.B. Ver  (gabble) 03:16, September 12, 2011 (UTC)

RE:

Fair enough, just keep in mind that an admin will most likely issue another, more intense ban if your uncivil comments keep appearing on the site. Outstanding citizen 03:46, September 12, 2011 (UTC)

Have you stopped to consider, sir, that your own comments are uncivil? They are messing up the formatting on my user talk page, and are otherwise utterly unwanted. I was enjoying a nice Sunday evening with my slave harem, sir! How dare you interrupt. ⇒»Biz E.B. Ver  (gabble) 03:48, September 12, 2011 (UTC)

UnNews

Alright, so I finally got through all the UnNews on the UnNews mainpage, and... ugh. Anyway, as you may have noticed, I moved most of the bear things back into your usespaces - they're very silly and just not very newslike, and quite frankly I know both of you can do so much better than that, and I suppose I have to draw the arbitrary line somewhere, although some older ones were worse, but being so much older there just wasn't much point in doing anything with them.

Your userspaced ones are here:

• User:Bizzeebeever/UnNews:UnNews vandals destroy Uncyclopedia
• User:Bizzeebeever/UnNews:Award winning UnNews journalist found dead
• User:Bizzeebeever/UnNews:Statements by Ursine-American professor ignite controversy
• User:Bizzeebeever/UnNews:Renowned polar bear hijacks some nukes and holds the world for ransom

If you want, you may improve them (namely, work on the humour and especially newsiness and lose the vanity) and move them back, but it'd probably be a better bet to just write new material on new subjects instead. UnNews is, after all, a rolling-release, so it's better to keep the thing rolling than keep mucking with what's over, though it's up to you. 1234 ~ 02:39, 13 September 2011

Yah, uh, that sort of crap happens when you try to develop articles in a matter of 30 minutes each, with a theme on a silly subject, and the person you're doing it with can't seem to improvise (and also is sorta fixated on the moral purity of the character they've invented). I'd prefer if they were just deleted, if they don't belong in the UnNews namespace. (All except the "vandals" story? ChiefJusticeDS is gonna use it or something.) Thanks.

Done. 1234 ~ 15:41, 13 September 2011

Wait, you did want it deleted after it was used, right? Sorry, I'll undelete it if you still want a copy. >.< 1234 ~ 15:46, 13 September 2011

Yeah, I wanted to keep that one, at User:Bizzeebeever/Articles/[article name], if possible ⇒»Biz E.B. Ver  (gabble) 01:44, September 14, 2011 (UTC)

Sorry about that. 1234 ~ 02:03, 14 September 2011

User:Bizzeebeever/Articles/[article name]...oh, forget it. ⇒»Biz E.B. Ver  (gabble) 02:18, September 14, 2011 (UTC)

Oh, HELL! And not that one! The one about "vandals"! "UnNews:UnNews vandals destroy Uncyclopedia"! /me throws hands up ⇒»Biz E.B. Ver  (gabble) 02:20, September 14, 2011 (UTC)

What? It was the one at the end! Did you not link it at all or something? o_O 1234 ~ 02:38, 14 September 2011

Oh, wait, that was me. Weird. They wound up backwards... bugger, shut up. 1234 ~ 02:39, 14 September 2011

NO U

. YOU HAPPY NOW, I HAVE JUST DUMPED HEAPS OF CLOSED <span> TAGS!? ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 22:50, September 26, 2011 (UTC)

Edit conflict

Did you get an edit conflict while editing my TP, bro? Now I have a "You have a new message" on every page I visit.... WTF? Anyway, I tried reverting your edit to see if that's gonna solve the problem... And you new sig is awesome! Mattsnow 19:34, September 28, 2011 (UTC)

...you might perhaps have that "you have a new message" message because I left you a message? :) Should go away after you click the "view messages" link...

No edit conflict on my end...

Also, thanks.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Sep 28 '11 19:37 (UTC)

LOL, of course I did click it bro! At least it seems the problem solved itself after closing the PC for awhile. I really have to go to the PC shop, it's about to asplode!!! Mattsnow 02:37, September 29, 2011 (UTC)

Well, I figgered you'd clicked it, but it's always good to ask the stoopid questions first. What browser you using, by-the-bye?  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Thu, Sep 29 '11 3:49 (UTC)

IE9, but after a good relaxation while I was earning my bread and butter, the PC decided to work properly. It's been a long time since a new UnNews about polar bears popped up, what's happening? Seriously, they were hilarious. :D Mattsnow 04:17, September 29, 2011 (UTC)

I will NEVER live that down, will I? Fuck you, Izbeenoneweek.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Thu, Sep 29 '11 5:35 (UTC)

I just nommed your latest UnNews: Uncyclopedia:VFH/UnNews:Renewed violence in 506,220th day of Israeli-Palestinian conflict Hilarious stuff! I just finished one myself: Uncyclopedia:VFH/UnNews:Obama: "Iran will have a nuke by 2167!". What do you think about it? It seems I have lost my magical touch since my articles are not getting voted on as much as they used to, but I somehow find them as funny as the ones I wrote back in the days. I guess I'm getting old. Also, no problem if you put your articles on the front page template yourself, I give you the free pass since they are always good so far. Just use your common sense: if you're not too sure it's good, don't put it there. Maybe I will afterward anyway. Only you and Funnybony have that front page template pass so far! But don't change the front page pic please, I'll take care of that one. Later! Mattsnow 11:43, October 5, 2011 (UTC)

Holey smokes, thank you, sir...but I wonder if mine's good enough to make it. (I figured since you'd nominated me for the FP, I should probably do something to deserve it, like, y'know, write some more articles.)

On the template: I asked Lyrithya before posting my article, and as she didn't object (although she didn't bother to read it, either) I figured I'd take a chancer. Hope I didn't overstep my bounds.

As for your article: I'd just seen the headline and image this afternoon, when I posted mine; I'll take a look as soon as I get sober again. I doubt you're losing your touch, although I suspect I can't say the same thing for myself. I was good at this, damnit — for a week or so, anyway.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Oct 5 '11 12:10 (UTC)

LOL, thanks for the tweaking on the UnNews! I soiled my trousers! Mattsnow 04:33, October 6, 2011 (UTC)

You're welcome. But look what some IP added. If that's not the perfect one-letter addition, I don't know what the hell is. Wish I'd thought of it.

If you'll excuse me, I'm off to watch the thrilling conclusion of...High Plains Drifter, starring Clint Eastwood.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Thu, Oct 6 '11 5:43 (UTC)

The Shining

When I saw this was on VFD, I quickly scrolled down to say to the admin to move it to my userspace, but I saw you beat me, bastard!!!! I saw that movie 10 times and am still fascinated by it. Would you like to collab on it if it gets deleted? There is so much potential there! Have you read that one? I saved it from VFD once with a big STRONG KEEP and a long explanation. I hope you don't feel pressured man, it's your call, but I'd really want to collab with you on it. Or else, you'll go in the REDRUM. I'll go vote against it, so it gets moved to your userspace. Shhhhh... Mattsnow 03:14, October 8, 2011 (UTC)

Maybe they should redirect The Shining to "All work and no play" — that article was one of the first ones I read on here, and I laughed. Hard.

I dunno how much better you or I can do; I'm currently working on something that's written from the point of view of each of the characters — including Jack Nicholson's axe. Sadly, that last part seems like the only one that has any potential. If you're awake right now (5:42 ET), get on IRC, and let's suss this out.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sat, Oct 8 '11 9:45 (UTC)

Pac-Man (walkthrough)

No problem but I don't see how you could improve this article unless you beat level 8! WiiKend 08:37, October 11, 2011 (UTC)

Sparta?

THIS IS NOT SPARTA!!!

Thanks for the nom and vote. ; ) —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 18:07, 14 October 2011

The only not cool looking thing on your userpage

This: . —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:36, 14 October 2011

I KNOW, brah! Workin' on it. I need the KEWLEST page on the 'Net, tots!  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Fri, Oct 14 '11 22:38 (UTC)

Happy Halloween!

-- PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 1 November 2011, at 01:18

FPrize

	Foolitzer Prize Winner October 2011

-- KittyKitty (t) (c) 05:57, November 1, 2011 (UTC)

Knock knock

You there, dude? Another image request sprung to my mind. It shouldn't be too difficult as it just involves copying a couple YouTube videos into one animation in a {{multiple image}} kind of way. The only issue might be having to fit all of those videos into a 320px wide box. Interested? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 15:52, 1 November 2011

Nope. But ask Bizzeebeever, he may be interested. Mattsnow 16:14, November 1, 2011 (UTC)

That's what I'm doing, actually. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 16:26, 1 November 2011

Sock: surewhynot. First question: are the vids the same length? Second, we're talking about the end result being a *.gif, right? Third: what are the links.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Tue, Nov 1 '11 22:36 (UTC)

P.S. Whatcha doin' here, Mattsnow? This ain't your talk page. Shoo. Shoo! Go home.

1. Probably not, but you can choose where you start and end the separate videos as its only a very specific part of the videos I'm interested in.
2. Yup, a gif.
3. I'll have them in a couple minutes. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:56, 1 November 2011

Alright, so I guess I should explain what this animation is all about. It's for my new article Japanese TV series centered around a game where large creatures are summoned from something smaller that tends to have a real-life equivalent of the game in question, except in real life, you don't actually get to summon large creatures. The animation is supposed to illustrate the large-creatures-appearing-out-of-smaller-stuff aspect of the TV series (plural) in question. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 23:44, 1 November 2011

Um...ok...are these animations supposed to be side-by-side, like a scene from an episode of 24, or ...overlaid on each other? I'm confoozled now.

(Also, on the wiki-globe thingy, are you sure I didn't make the end result too dark? I can't tell anymore because my eyes fell out.)  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Tue, Nov 1 '11 23:54 (UTC)

Side-by-side, in multiple rows and columns. The caption beneath it is gonna be "Take your pick."
(It's perfect the way it is, trust me.) —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 23:59, 1 November 2011

First up is Pokémon with this video. The part for the animation starts at around 0:55 with Ash summoning Sceptile and ends at around 1:36 as Latios is released from his pokéball and hovers above the ground. There's a lot of fighting scenes in between those two points and you're allowed to leave out most of it, but you should definitely include the part where Ash says something with this outer space like background starting at around 1:19 and onwards with Sceptile summoning green light sabers out of his elbows and slashing Darkrai with them. How much you decide to leave out will mostly depend on how long the parts of the other videos are. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 23:59, 1 November 2011

0.o

This is gonna be a pretty huge .gif!

You mean byte-wise or pixel-wise? Either way, in the end you're gonna have to scale it down to a mere 320px, though. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 00:08, 2 November 2011

Second up is Digimon, with this video. This time all you need is 1:24 up until the end of the video. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 01:09, 2 November 2011

Third up is Yu-Gi-Oh! with this video. From 0:10 till 0:37 please. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 01:32, 2 November 2011

Fourth up is Beyblade with this video. From 1:44 till 2:22 please. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 01:51, 2 November 2011

And last but not least, there's Bakugan with this video. From 5:44 till 6:55 please. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 02:02, 2 November 2011

I'd propose organizing the gif like this:

Pokémon			Digimon
Yu-Gi-Oh!		Beyblade		Bakugan

—Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 02:08, 2 November 2011

What we can also do is split the one big animation up in tiny pieces so you don't have to worry about them all taking the exact same amount of time to play. Let's say 165px wide for Pokémon and Digimon and 110px wide for the bottom three. This would mean that their heights also need to match. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 02:20, 2 November 2011

Yeah, the simplest thing will be to have those as separate animations (instead of one big one), and assemble them using a table or <div>s. Two reasons:

1. As you mentioned, they're all different lengths, so getting them to loop properly as a single animation would be a pain.
2. File-size is more troublesome. Look at File:Explosion mushroom shaped.gif: it has a very optimized palette, AND it's only 3 seconds long, but it's 3 MBs! At that frame-rate (33 f/s), we would expect a 1-minute 320px *.gif to have a size of 60+ MB. Even with a 5 or 10 frame/second rate, you'd end up with a 15+MB download. (I know you've got awesome Internet over there, but that's a 36 minute download for my dial-up, and at least 1 1/3 minutes for 1.5 Mbps Internet.)

Just taking a wild guess, I still think we should expect at least a 2MB total file size, and probably double that.

Anyway, just so I know, what's your minimum acceptable frame-rate?  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Nov 2 '11 3:23 (UTC)

Acceptable frame-rate? I've never had trouble seeing gifs, so I never really thought about that. If it helps, I'd like the animations to progress fast but not super fast. Let's say slightly faster than what it looks like in the videos. With the exception of the Pokémon gif, because the vid that's based on already is pretty fast and because I'd like you to edit out most (but not all) of the battle scenes between 0:55 and 1:19. Just make sure the progression of the frames still makes sense. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 10:25, 2 November 2011

Well, framerate has to do with how smooth the animation looks, not how fast, and it's directly related to file size, but nevermind, I'll figure it out. I'll have your animations for ya as soon as I can get 'em downloaded.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Nov 2 '11 17:34 (UTC)

Well, hell, looks like I know nothing about speeds and framerates and such. Framerate on videos apparently is apparently inextricably linked to speed, unless you resample, or some such shit. Anyway, workin' on it.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Fri, Nov 4 '11 6:57 (UTC)

It's both, isn't it? If the framerate is too low, the frames just look like separate images instead of a continuous animation. And if you're working with the same frames, how many of them you cram into a second is gonna influence how fast it plays. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 09:43, 4 November 2011

WotM

Wow, thanks for your kind words and WotM nom, you're literally too kind. And thanks for that special present I got in the post this morning (which I assume was also from you), its ticking is really soothing to listen to, so thank you. Nice work on winning the handsome new Foolitzer too! --Black Flamingo 21:11, November 4, 2011 (UTC)

You're welcome. If my nose is too far into your derrière, let me know, and I'll pull back a few inches.

However, if I were you, I would very carefully put that package down and then get at least 500 meters away from it. I didn't send it. The package I sent would have brown stains, and wavy lines emanating from the top of it. (Nothing personal, I send those to all my friends.)

And thank you on the Pulitzer. The bloke who made the new version is one handsome, special kind of graphic genius, ain't he?  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Fri, Nov 4 '11 21:28 (UTC)

FANKS

AG FANKS MAN! You was prove you are not a sout piel and now you can like to get dis template because you did pay attentions... Now go milk dat bliksimse cow!

A Busy Beaver Gathers No Moss

Thanks For Your Purchase! The NAARAHYNWOMDTCRDP appreciates your patronage because it prevents us from having to get real jobs and we can continue to provide you with compelling yet useless publications which exploit your fear of embarrassment and nuclear holocausts. Here's an oddly designed abomination of a template for your talk page as a special gift which acknowledges your stupidity for everyone on Uncyclopedia to see!

But he does get templates!--    18:41, November 14, 2011 (UTC)

IRC

I'm pretty lonely there, if you want of course. Mattsnow 05:22, November 24, 2011 (UTC)

Where are your freaking UnNews about polar bears and Gaddafi? They mesh so well together! Mattsnow 14:08, November 26, 2011 (UTC)

Uhh...

I apologize for matters most inconvenient about said article nomination and didn't mean to cause any psychological/emotional/physical harm. Maybe I should check the revision history before I... --Gamma287 ☭Tetяis? 06:02, November 24, 2011 (UTC)

You seemed insulted. Off I go, citizen! --Gamma287 ☭Tetяis? 01:05, November 25, 2011 (UTC)

User:Mattsnow/Mexico tourism brochure

What do you think about this? It uses your pic. It's short, but I think it packs quite a laugh! Later, Lassie! Mattsnow 19:29, December 1, 2011 (UTC)

Yep, that's Mey-hee-co, all right! XD  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Fri, Dec 2 '11 15:29 (UTC)

Thank you man!!! This is incredible! Mattsnow 03:20, December 3, 2011 (UTC)

Can updated versions be submitted on VFP? I sure will submit it man! Thanks for all the work, I somehow feel bad for not knowing how to "upgrade a pic" on VFP, if that can be done at all. Mattsnow 03:31, December 3, 2011 (UTC)

Since I didn't want to pollute your userspace. Mattsnow 03:57, December 3, 2011 (UTC)

Nominated Potatochopper of the Month

This user has been nominated for Potatochopper of the Month—you can vote for them or nominate your favourite users at Potatochopper of the month.

About the country infobox

Why is there a _ in front of all the image-related variables? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 11:01, 4 December 2011

Well, the old fields are still there, I just "deprecated" them. Problem is, on the Wikipedia IBC, you're supposed to just supply the image addresses. The old fields expect you to actually link the images in, using [[File:image.png]]. One issue with that is, you get maps and flags and shit spreading the infobox across the page, until you get what we had with the old United States of America. So I decided to take the image-sizing away from the user, for future boxes.

People can still use the old fields, they're just not documented.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Dec 4 '11 11:09 (UTC)

Oh, okay. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 11:13, 4 December 2011

Say, Mr. Socky, is there any chance you could change the line in {{Template:Documentation}} where it says style="background:LavenderBlush" to read style="background-color:#ECFCF4;padding:10px;"?

Or would it be possible to un-protect it for a little while so I can poke at it? It would be nice if the template documentation for this site could actually look like Wikipedia's.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Dec 4 '11 11:42 (UTC)

(it's the first line)  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Dec 4 '11 11:45 (UTC)

I'll see what I can do. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 11:56, 4 December 2011

I did something. Here's hoping I completely ruined the site in the process. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 11:59, 4 December 2011

Excellent! Thank you, M. Chaussette. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Dec 4 '11 12:06 (UTC)

You seem to like templates

Is this true? It's possible I may have a job for you. 1234 ~ 16:07, 4 December 2011

"Like"? Well...I wouldn't go that far. It's just that I read (on Wikipedia) that we're supposed to be a parody (of Wikipedia), and it occurred to me that if we don't look like the thing we're parodying (...Wikipedia, or something? I can't remember), then that'd be a lie. (And Wikipedia never lies, right?)

Also, that infobox was in crappy shape.

Also, dokyoomintayshun iz guud.

...so...what's the job?  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Dec 4 '11 21:57 (UTC)

Can you fix the documentation on everything? *kitty eyes* 1234 ~ 22:52, 4 December 2011

...

Define "everything."  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Dec 4 '11 22:57 (UTC)

Everything. Unless you feel like creating documentation on articles and images too. Mmm, sounds like fun. : ) —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 23:02, 4 December 2011

Well, it'd probably be more useful to come up with a list of templates ordered by "most transcluded", and work one's way down the list. I intended to do that, originally. Kinda a huge job, though.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Dec 4 '11 23:10 (UTC)

Well, you know what they say about huge jobs, don't you? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 23:17, 4 December 2011

uh..."Your mom is a huge job—for me to bang! Hur hur hur...[high-fives nearest frat boy]"?  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Dec 4 '11 23:20 (UTC)

Well, that's one way of looking at it. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 23:23, 4 December 2011

[in a conspiratorial undertone]: OK, [leans forward] what would be the official way of looking at it?  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Dec 4 '11 23:27 (UTC)

Well, the official way involves blowjobs, but I'd rather not elaborate on that. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 23:47, 4 December 2011

Talking about jobs...

I've got another assignment for you! It's really simple too! All you have to do is upload a better version of File:Nappa pokemon.gif. The source file is here. Have fun! ; ) —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 23:47, 4 December 2011

Boop! ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Mon, Dec 5 '11 2:51 (UTC)

Thanks, man! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 08:06, 5 December 2011

No prob. Say, can I talk to you on IRC?  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Mon, Dec 5 '11 8:09 (UTC)

Sure, but my time is limited, though. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 08:15, 5 December 2011

Template:Infobox Country

Can you please make {{{Common_name}}} optional as there is no need for each countryto have three names? I would do it myself but I don't know how to. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 22:09, December 13, 2011 (UTC)

I was going to make common_name the only required one, and make the other two optional. Would that work? If not, you could just make it disappear from your page by putting

|common_name =

in your call to the template.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Tue, Dec 13 '11 22:17 (UTC)

Actually, scratch that. I f***ed up. It was OPTIONAL in the original template! Lol. Thank you for your catch.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Tue, Dec 13 '11 22:18 (UTC)

You fished up? Man, I hate it when that happens. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:27, 13 December 2011

You hate it? How do ya think the fish feel...  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Tue, Dec 13 '11 22:29 (UTC)

Probably like sh*t. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:37, 13 December 2011

No, they feel like fish.

Because they are.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Tue, Dec 13 '11 22:40 (UTC)

Why is your sig so small?

It's almost impossible to click on the links. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 19:48, 15 December 2011

Seeing as I hate people, that's kinda the point. >:)  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Fri, Dec 16 '11 5:28 (UTC)

Tripped face first into a bar

Hello. This is a note to lots of people, asking them to join into a Walk into a bar collab (and if Iz missed you, you are more than welcome to "Walk into a bar" too!). If you want to join in, make up your best "Walk into a bar" jokes and we will have the bestest "Walk into a bar" page on the innernests! Aleister 16:00 28-12-'11

Hey man

I just thought I'd bring this to your attention. Take note of the first title mentioned. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 00:13, 29 December 2011

Yeah, I noticed that last week, right before I went off the grid. I laughed.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Thu, Dec 29 '11 15:23 (UTC)

Forum:The Search Box.

I asked you a question there. Pup 12:55 30 Dec '11

Conglaturashon

	Uncyclopedian of the Month December 2011

--ChiefjusticeXBox 10:04, January 1, 2012 (UTC)

Tales of an Emo

Only when I investigated the history of the article did I see the kind of rewrite you pulled off and I was shocked it was all done, single handedly by you, in ONE EDIT! Jesus Crap ... it was brilliant. Hurray for you man ... an incredible fantabulous rewrite! --ShabiDOO 20:21, January 4, 2012 (UTC)

Thanks. :)  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Thu, Jan 5 '12 7:29 (UTC)

Greetings

I have gone through my records and it appears as though you may have voted for me for some award, supported one or more of my articles on VFH, or supported one or more of my images on VFP, in the past year or so. If this is not the case, then please ignore this message. Otherwise, thank you for your support. May you have a long and fruitful life, and have many parasites. 1234 ~ 18:57, 6 January 2012

In case you need a reminder...

Please don't be a dick. 1234 ~ 21:54, 6 January 2012

Now you're just being racist.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Fri, Jan 6 '12 23:11 (UTC)

Please don't be a vagina either. That'd just be awkward. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 23:54, 6 January 2012

Not sure if I get the thrust of your comments. They seem open to interpretation.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sat, Jan 7 '12 0:03 (UTC)

lol

“Now that we've established that the others suck, why should you vote for Frosty? I'll TELL you why. He cleans up after vandals, tidies up in general, is nice to newbies and losers, has a good sense of humor, routinely demonstrates a greater maturity than half the users here, and is an all-around humble little bogan. ALSO, HE'S FIFTEEN YEARS OLD. Do you know that this spunky bastard thinks he can't write? So what does he hang around here for? To be part of a community, and help out in any way he can. THAT'S the damn definition of "community spirit", you faggots! So put your hand over your hearts and salute this Aussie spark of joy, you deviant homosexuals, because if you don't, he may become disillusioned and leave. And if he does, WOE BETIDE YOU ALL”

~ Bizzeebeever on Fuck you Zombiebaron

I'm not gonna get disillusioned and leave. But thankyou. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 06:57, January 7, 2012 (UTC)

I felt the vote needed a drama injection. Also, fuck Zombiebaron.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sat, Jan 7 '12 7:27 (UTC)

Drama on Uncyclopedia? Get out, I thought having those two together went out of style. But Zombiebaron gave you user rights, respect him! ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 07:29, January 7, 2012 (UTC)

Naw, we cool. He knows I jest. I think.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sat, Jan 7 '12 7:48 (UTC)

Image Request

• Hey man, when you complete an image request, can you please post something on Radical X's Corner to let people know the request has been filled? I just tried to fill a request and it turned out you had already done it, and this isn't the first time this has happened. There's no point in the two of us filling the same requests. -- The Zombiebaron 19:54, January 7, 2012 (UTC)

Sorry. I just like to make sure the image works for people before I post "DONE!" Last night, I was up late...I mean, WAAAAY early, so I forgot. I'll try to remember next time.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sat, Jan 7 '12 23:25 (UTC)

Maybe just post the image on Image Request, instead of their talkpage then. -- The Zombiebaron 02:07, January 8, 2012 (UTC)

but...but then people will see that I'm a talentless hack!  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Jan 8 '12 2:14 (UTC)

Somalia

Bewdy bonza, me old cock-knocker. Pop open a tinnie and relax. She'll be apples. Pup 02:27 20 Jan '12

Well, stone the crows, a'n't I a dag.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Fri, Jan 20 '12 14:32 (UTC)

No wukkers. Pup 02:35 20 Jan '12

BB, after being gone for most of your tenure here, and only coming back the last few weeks, I'm beginning to suspect that you have 'ceptional 'telligence. Dr. King's Dream speech was particulary impressive, a little known fact maybe getting more known. You may have some learnin' about you, this I suspect. But Puppy has the same feature on two different days this week, so not only does he have 'igence, he has the luck of the aussie. Aleister 15:06 20-1-'12

I only kens what I reads in them bunnels o' paper, whet yeh call 'em...books? Ach, books.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Fri, Jan 20 '12 15:43 (UTC)

Just thought I'd inform you...

That there's an article titled Barnacle, which is also of my authorship. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:31, 21 January 2012

Yes but...yes, but then it would be less clear that that list was actually a list of Spartan kings, and not just nonsense.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Jan 22 '12 4:11 (UTC)

Actually, now I've got an idea.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Jan 22 '12 4:15 (UTC)

You take on the hopeless tasks

Like that Spielberg stub you rescued from the huff bin. What do you want to save that for? Way too much work. If it were me, I'd rewrite it with Hitler killing E.T., and E.T. get all alive again, and they all go to the South Pole where E.T. and Hitler fight in the ice, and a ufo comes and zaps them with water, and they freeze, and then Oprah comes and does things to them. It writes itself, this Spielberg guy. Oh, by the way, I came to tell you I did some work on Bathtub if you want to take a turn at it. Aleister 9:39 23-1-'12

Are you making fun of me? You're making fun of me, aren't you.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Mon, Jan 23 '12 10:01 (UTC)

Yes, and no, and yes. Really, no, was Spielberg yours in the first place? A very good page, I was surprised to see that it was huffed and was glad you kept enough attention on it to bring it back to life. I'll have to read it closer some time soon. Aleister 10:11 23-1-'12

*hem* Well you see, the author had a decent concept, but, eh, apparently hit a wall. So, then it got ...you know, eh, whatta they call it in the movie biz..."shitcanned".

On Bathtub: are you sure that the Demoiselle Bathory is ...such a good lead-in image? A lady who bathes in the blood of murdered virgins? Come, now. I enjoyed the article for its heretofore wholesomeness, and you throw a monkey'd wrench into it! Pfah! For shame!  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Mon, Jan 23 '12 10:39 (UTC)

Oh, that was your page. It was very good, which is why I was surprised it was huffed. I lost a couple of pages by working on them in main space and not user space, so I just retreated to user space for writing. You may be right about the pic, maybe lower on the page. There is a good pic of an empty bathtub on the talk page, maybe that with a caption about a drought affecting the sea level? Although bathing in the blood of virgins has given me an idea for my own day out in the world. Thanks! Aleister 10:49 23-1-'12

p.s. fixed, or at least somethinged.

I was going to take a pop at bathtub. Oh - thanks for pointing out Phantom Biro btw. Pup 11:12 23 Jan '12

Sure no prob.

Say, do either of you mooks know how to get a user javascript working properly in Chrome? I'm testing TRYING to test out a new maintenance tag script for this site, but the damned thing can't seem to get access to any variables defined by the uncyclopedia javascripts. I'm quite sure it has something to do with XSS permissions with the browser, but I'll be damned if I know what.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Mon, Jan 23 '12 11:45 (UTC)

I don't do that much with .js any more, and never did try doing anything with it on chrome (because when I learned .js chrome didn't exist). What I can say is that each browser is slightly different, so possible that Chrome is being a bastard, so I'd try and rule out any issues by testing on an alternate browser. (I have chrome, ie, safari for pc, Firefox and opera installed on my pc and laptop, and safari and opera on my iPhone for exactly these kind of issues.) Pup 12:24 23 Jan '12

Opera is my favorite, and it blows Chrome out of the water, but it doesn't have a decent script blocker, while Chrome does, and its caching process makes it the fastest for downloading web pages with JS content over a dial-up (yes, DIAL-UP) connection. Unfortunately, I just can't get my goddamned script to access the page's variables, and I know it's not one of those x-browser issues. It's definitely got something to do with Chrome's security mechanism.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Mon, Jan 23 '12 12:41 (UTC)

Every 18 Months

Thanks for the comment. I'm trying to be more active now, though; I like writing fake news. I'm glad people read it. -Tritefantastic 02:06, January 26, 2012 (UTC)

7 sections in UnNews

Hey, if you want to and know how to do it, that would be appreciated! May even mail you an Oreo or 2 Mattsnow 12:57, January 29, 2012 (UTC)

You emo thing

Looks like its going to be featured. Hats off to you for the great article. It made me laugh, it was rendered fantastically and it even made my friends laugh (whose english is so shaky they don't usually undersatnd much). Rock and Roll BB! --ShabiDOO 17:42, January 30, 2012 (UTC)

Why thank you. I'm glad something I cobbled together on a whim could make people laugh.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Mon, Jan 30 '12 17:46 (UTC)

You are

	Writer of the Month January 2012

Congratulations. --ChiefjusticeXBox 12:54, February 1, 2012 (UTC)

Crap. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Feb 1 '12 13:01 (UTC)

Oléeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

Thank You

For getting me an image on image requests. Means a lot. --POP!GoesTheWeasel 07:31, February 3, 2012 (UTC)

Whoops, missed you there. You're welcome! ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Fri, Feb 3 '12 16:24 (UTC)

User:Bizzeebeever/Template

Hey man that's great! I just need to get used to it, I tried various stuff, this is the best I could come up with, can you fix it so I see what I did wrong? Mattsnow 11:35, February 3, 2012 (UTC)

Forget it I've got it! So I could put the editorial, breaking, and such tags on articles? (I never do, don't know why I ask lol) Well this would certainly be an improvement, and nobody can disagree since we can put 5 stories on it should someone not like it and it's easy to edit. Congrats! Now, how do we replace the old one? Mattsnow 11:41, February 3, 2012 (UTC)

Hi! I "improved" the template, and forgot to note it. Now, all you have to do is use "left", "right" or "lead" under the "arrange" parameter. The "id" parameter isn't needed anymore. As far as I can see, you did perfectly!

As for how we use it to replace the old one, it's pretty simple: I believe we just move this one to {{Lead articles 2.0}} or some such, and then change the unnews main page to use it. I have to check with Olipro or somebody, first, though.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Fri, Feb 3 '12 16:20 (UTC)

Great! I always have to "refresh" it daily, having 5 on there when there's like 3 new UnNews a day is kind of ridiculous since I change it all the time. Great job man. Mattsnow 17:47, February 3, 2012 (UTC)

I edited it, great, but why are the arrows showing? Why is the last story not on the same level as others? Mattsnow 07:51, February 4, 2012 (UTC)

Got it! It was because of some <-- I put, I shall have put <!--. Thanks for that template bro, I'm at a loss of words and tears are pouring! :) I shall sacrifice 100 moose in your honor. Mattsnow 07:58, February 4, 2012 (UTC)

Nonono, savethemooses! ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sat, Feb 4 '12 8:28 (UTC)

OK, beavers then, but they're harder to catch in the winter *puts on diving gear and picks up ice axe* Mattsnow 08:45, February 4, 2012 (UTC)

I know there's a 0.0001% probability

But you know I was joking on VFD right? I saw your answer and it made me feel all weird inside that one of my Uncy buddies could think I WAS BULLYING HIM IN ALL CAPS! Tell me it ain't so. Please... Mattsnow 14:28, February 7, 2012 (UTC)

Mattsnow will you STOP BULLYING PEOPLE! Pup 03:45 08 Feb '12

S'OK. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Thu, Feb 9 '12 8:14 (UTC)

IT'S NOT OKAY, GOD DAMMIT! REPORT HIM TO UN:BP AT ONCE! OR ARE YOU TOO CHICKEN? Can I stop shouting now? Pup 09:12 09 Feb '12

Dude, chill the fuck out. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Thu, Feb 9 '12 10:34 (UTC)

Sorry. I have to remember it's blue pills in the morning and red at night. This is what happens when I get them elephant. Pup 10:51 09 Feb '12

Image

I forgot to thank you for the Unabomber Napoleon image! There's just one flaw: Ted Kaczynksi of all people would not be wearing a watch. -- Kippy the Elf Talk Works ☃ 18:34, Feb. 8, 2012

You sure about that? ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Thu, Feb 9 '12 10:31 (UTC)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! -- Kippy the Elf Talk Works ☃ 21:16, Feb. 9, 2012

double meaning

Did anyone tell you about the double meaning of Beaver? In some countries it means something else, something that other people in the world are unaware of. In Canada, its sort of coloquially known as the...uhhhhhhh...tail side of the five cents coin. Did you know that? Now you know. Hurray for Bizzeebeever! --ShabiDOO 00:16, February 10, 2012 (UTC)

Actually, it's more like a quadruple meaning. "Beaver" can refer to:

1. A certain aquatic member of the order Rodentia with a wide flat tail and prominent teeth
2. A hat made from #1
3. (slang) The pussy region
4. The lower face-guard of a knight's helmet

Personally, I think the funniest interpretation of my name references definition #4. (Think about it.) ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Fri, Feb 10 '12 2:16 (UTC)

I have thought about it. I think the 5 cent canadian coin is the most shocking in the end. You know. --ShabiDOO 04:16, February 10, 2012 (UTC)

You're my js scripter friend.

This. Are you able to work with that? (I've had trouble with list depth in the past, so it may not be workable.) Pup 01:02 10 Feb '12

Wow, I gotta say, that dude's suggestion is kinda...terrible. Really? Google Docs?

Anyway, yes, you can get any information you want regarding page content using Javascript with the wiki API. Unfortunately, it's hard to work that sort of thing into a page using a template (take a look at {{USERNAME}}, for example). Personally, I've been looking for a parser function like, say {{#totalnumberofsections:Worst Article Ever}} (or some such), or an API parameter that works from the page's query-string (such as &section=last). There is no such thing, as far as I can tell.

P.S. what exactly did you want to do? Transclude a specific section into another page, based on its index? ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Fri, Feb 10 '12 2:01 (UTC)

yeah, but working from the last section back. I can do last section, but not second last. Pup 02:41 10 Feb '12

...wait, you can? How? ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Fri, Feb 10 '12 2:50 (UTC)

{{ShowSec}} and {{ShowSecHead}}. I threw these together to make it a little easier, but you can probably pull apart the code if you need to. It works well for cutting games down to only a few pages, like Game:Abyss and Game:Castle and whatever other pages I used it on. Pup 03:51 10 Feb '12

Which reminds me - I really must get back to cleaning up the games namespace at some stage. Pup 03:53 10 Feb '12

Ah, {{#dpl:}}. I was hoping it was some parser function I had somehow overlooked. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Fri, Feb 10 '12 3:56 (UTC)

Yeah. But it works fairly well, so I'm not going to argue with it. Pup 11:03 10 Feb '12

Clean-up and whoring

Thanks for cleaning up some of the features. I've been doing the same thing since that link went up, and have found lots of features I didn't know about. In many cases stupid quotes have been added, so I check the feature version and then zap them. Since I'm here, if I may whore a read of my James Bevel page (I haven't whored a page in years, years I tell ya, or at least since that Madison Movement unnews). Thanks, for all of that. I also read above, and am surprised nobody has mentioned the finest use of the Beaver thing, when the writers of the old program "Leave it to Beaver" got away with naming the kid "Beaver Cleaver". Aleister 14:10 10-2-'12

Yeah. In the case of the older features, though, it's hard to tell what to revert. Take Ireland for instance. The original version, featured in March of '05, looks like it was written by an idiot. The current version isn't great, but compared to the original, it's longer and looks better. You know, like my penis, as compared to...a smaller, uglier penis.

As for Bevel, I'm not too sure it's my cuppa tea. I usually have a hard time finding bios funny, unless they're along the lines of Vladimir Putin or George Washington.

And yeah, "Beaver Cleaver." He-who-cleaves-the-beaver. XD ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Tue, Feb 14 '12 1:21 (UTC)

No contents

Yeah, code to do that! Is it just that _notc_ thing or is a second part needed, the padding thing you did? Sometimes those content boxes are really in the way, and you actually have a code to kill them. Nice. Aleister 14:07 16-2-'12

Yeah, __NOTOC__ is all ya need. I just added the padding 'cuz...I know how, and it looks nice. If I'd added the padding to the outer <div>, it would make it spill out over the wiki-page and look all bad and shit. XD Cheers. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Thu, Feb 16 '12 14:14 (UTC)

Water for the waterless! Thanks for creating that great iHomophone pic. It's perfect, kind of what I was imagining the whole time come to life in front of my three eyes. Can you bring it over to uncy and log it in? I still don't know how to do that. Thanks again. Watermelons for the watermelonless. Aleis'r 11:39 18-2-'12

Me dick, you BB

I left a note way on the bottom of Puppy's page apologizing for being a dick. I'm mentioning it here in case you don't go back there in the next month. Aleister 23:12 20-2-'12

p.s. Although, to make up for it, today I "saved" Original Jesus from the buzzsaw. I'll get my reward in heaven.

Resolution issue

I had a thought. Formatting articles changes depending on screen width. I was think of creating a template to test format at different resolutions, what I have so far is <div style="width: 1000px; height 700px; overflow: scroll;">{{title|{{{1}}}}}{{:{{{1}}}}}</div> as a basic idea, and setting up those widths and heights with a few variables for different monitor resolutions. The problem is that I'm not sure what the width of the sidebar is, and that really should be taken into consideration with this as a template, just to ensure that it gives a realistic idea of what the reading pane size is. Could you have a look at that for me? Also, do you have any other ideas that would work for testing purposes? (I know that there are articles that won't work right with this idea, but as a general tool it may be handy.) Pup 04:00 22 Feb '12

I should probably throw an important in there somewhere as well. Pup 04:02 22 Feb '12

I will confess that I have no idea what you're trying to do...but as for sidebar width...well, the sidebar doesn't have a real "width". I'm currently using the monobook skin, but I believe the metrics are the same for vector (?). Take a look at this and this to get an idea about how the page layout works: the main content pane has a 159px left-margin, and also a 13px left-padding, and a 1px border. So if you're taking into content the FULL width of the content pane, it's ( window width - left margin - left border ); if you want the width inside the content pane, minus the padding on either side, it would be ( window width - left margin - left border - left padding - right padding ), or ( window width - 186 ). ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Feb 22 '12 10:20 (UTC)

Your Richard Simmons pic...

...will grace the front-page as the lead pic for Homophones, which somehow got featured. If Richard Simmons sees it he will blow it (up) and paste it on his wall. Yay! Thanks mucho again. Aleister 2:55 13-3-'12

De nada. También, ¡felicidades! ~El Castor Trabajador 11:22, March 13, 2012 (UTC)

HHHAAALLLPPP!!

Orwell showed an horrific image of a few world powers (Oceania, Eurasia and Eastasia) waging constant and purposeless war against each other based on imaginary ideologies. Luckily, that would never happen in reality.

Could you help me? I would like the words in this pic's caption to be colored corresponding to their coloration on the map (Oceania: pink, Eurasia: the European Union part and Eastasia: the China part) that would be great and then I'll know how to do it so I'll never ever bug you about that particular topic again! But I will about other topics! Quick poll: did you read the book or see the movie 1984? I hope you understand, it's just retouching the words in the caption, not potatochopping the pic. Mattsnow 13:15, March 16, 2012 (UTC)

BTW, forget the IRC thing, I just opened it and I'm on it right now... I don't get at all what happened yesterday night. I only drank 3 beers. o.0 If you wanna come and talk, I'll be there for a little while. :) Mattsnow 13:23, March 16, 2012 (UTC)

Something like this, perhaps? I made the colors slightly darker, and bolded the fonts, because they were rather hard to read in those pastel shades at a normal weight.

Also, I haven't read or seen the book or the movie. I've been intending to read the book for about the past 15 years. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Fri, Mar 16 '12 13:31 (UTC)

You're awesome bro! I'm rewriting the article about it. Mattsnow 13:35, March 16, 2012 (UTC)

I noticed you were. Also, feel free to bug me any time. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Fri, Mar 16 '12 13:39 (UTC)

St. Patty’s Day

Are you wearing green today? If not, don’t be surprised if I show up. (You should be especially if you live in the Beaver State, being that I live there, too.) Matthlock 21:37, March 17, 2012 (UTC)

I wore my red titanium Anti-Pinch jerkin. I'm actually Irish, so I am exempt from the green rule. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Fri, Mar 18 '11 2:21 (UTC)

I come from mixed stock, so I'm part Irish, part English, part Catholic, and part Protestant. Explains why I'm such a calm and rational person. Nominally Humane! 02:33 18 Mar

Lollzers. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Mar 18 '12 11:02 (UTC)

Verily! Nominally Humane! 11:04 18 Mar

Neigh, varlet. Thy pratings are of an ass. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Mar 18 '12 11:08 (UTC)

Thou art more full of prevarications than a martlebury is full of mizzensails. Nominally Humane! 07:38 18 Mar

I say, sirrah! Thou shouldst not clean thine ears with screwdrivers. Thou hast loosed the screws that do fasten in thy brains, yea, verily! ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Mon, Mar 19 '12 6:17 (UTC)

The Pea Buddy Awards

We need you! Either prepare yourself mentally for the severity of the trials (don't sign up just yet, you cheat!) or commit your soul as a judge right now. May the Lord shine his blessings upon thee! Mattsnow 00:28, March 20, 2012 (UTC)

Thanks for the formatting help! If you'd stay here, you'd be a pretty busy beaver: the snow is melting like an ice cone! The rivers are fucking raging, going over bridges yesterday. Not a good thing. Certainly your beaver den would be submerged... Poor beasts. Mattsnow 13:36, March 22, 2012 (UTC)

Hey thanks for the template bro! I'll finish that article soon! It only needs some finishing latex. Ever played Resident Evil? Mattsnow 13:31, March 24, 2012 (UTC)

Sadly, no. Saw the first movie, though. Hated it. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Mar 25 '12 4:11 (UTC)

That thing

So wait, Bizzeebeever, you're Irish? Do you mean, Ireland Irish? Do you really live in Ireland, which is one of my five ancestral homes Matthlock 21:40, March 21, 2012 (UTC)

No, I'm not in Ireland. I am at least 4/5 Irish, though. My father's last name means "moneyed one" in Gaelic, which is a piece of intense irony foisted on us by God himself. Not one of us bastards has ever had a dime to our names.

Wait, what? You mean there are still people in Ireland? I thought everybody got out of there when the mortgage came due on the island, way back in 2010. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Mar 21 '12 21:48 (UTC)

Oh all right, I didn't think you were really Irish Irish because your signature has the American flag on it. Well anyway, I myself am 3/8 Irish by the way. Matthlock 22:28, March 21, 2012 (UTC)

4/5? Four of your five grandparents were Irish? Nominally Humane! 11:13 21 Mar

I take it you've never done Irish arithmetic before. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Thu, Mar 22 '12 9:32 (UTC)

Cite web

We don't have any citation templates, as far as I'm aware. We don't usually cite sources enough to warrant it. Nominally Humane! 10:44 23 Mar

We do have {{cite web}}, although I'm not sure why, seeing as [http://www.example.com some site] (which looks like this: some site) works just fine. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Fri, Mar 23 '12 22:47 (UTC)

I stand corrected. It's a copypasta from WP (and an old version at that) and they do help when you are citing to make the citations look like what we're parodying. But yeah - it's not exactly a high need, even though this does have 50+ uses. Nominally Humane! 10:56 23 Mar

I remember when I first joined. I couldn't tell whether I was supposed to use <ref> or {{cite web}} or [some page] for footnotes, or all of them, or some of them. Hyuck hyuck hyuck. Ahhh. Those were the days. I remember them well. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sat, Mar 24 '12 0:54 (UTC)

That template will be a great finishing touch! Do you want to go on IRC? I saw that you often go to that wretched place, but we never cross path! Well I'll be on there for an hour or so. Mattsnow 04:23, March 25, 2012 (UTC)

Hey, you logged out of IRC while I was getting prepared to tell you the secret of the Caramilk... Mattsnow 05:04, March 25, 2012 (UTC)

Dude, I didn't log out. I was reset by Peer. That cocksucker. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Mar 25 '12 5:07 (UTC)

Writes (Edit this article in any way you like, WITH THE EXCEPTION that the next IP that adds external pictures OR removes the infobox gets a free ban. For life.)

Then goes editing Totalitarian rule.

LMAO, feeling like Hitler today?!? XD Mattsnow 19:49, March 30, 2012 (UTC)

One was on my watchlist, one was on VFD. Complete coincidence. >:)  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Fri, Mar 30 '12 20:09 (UTC)

The coincidence cracked me up lol Mattsnow 20:38, March 30, 2012 (UTC)

Believe it or not, I'm here to entertain. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Fri, Mar 30 '12 22:23 (UTC)

Irish

If you, and/or PuppyOnTheRadio, want to talk to me about anything Irish, just go on over here, because that's where I prefer to get most of my messages.

-Your Irish-American friend, Matthlock 03:44, April 1, 2012 (UTC)

Um yeah, fixed that. Sorry about that, dude. User:Matthlock/sig 04:13, April 1, 2012 (UTC)

Taking a break

No. You're not allowed. Nominally Humane! 08:40 01 Apr

Pull your ass over to the side!

....Sir, have you seen this boy?

User:Matthlock/sig 21:56, April 7, 2012 (UTC)

Resident Evil

Sorry it took me so long to get back at you for this one, I had a bunch of unfinished articles! I never could understand why we always have to follow a template's topic, but here I am following every topic you laid out and the last one don't show! HALP! BTW, Since VFH is so slow, I feel compelled to tell you to go read some, if you don't have much time, make it Earth's Children and UnNews:Tom Boonen wins Paris-Roubaix cycling race while smoking a cigar. It ha come down to this if we want people to vote on VFH sadly. Mattsnow 14:52, April 10, 2012 (UTC)

Matt: fixed. Sorry. The idiot who designed it was at fault. Left out a "|".

I don't like the templates, either; they're like "paint-by-colors" humor. Generic setup on the left, punchline on the right, and it rarely works very well. You could make your own custom infobox using a wikitable, or just do away with the infobox altogether; in the first case, though, the wikitable is more complicated than a template, and tends to get fucked up by noobs who come along and want to edit the article. Also, if/when Uncyclopedia's style layout changes in the future, it's a bitch to go around and fix up a bunch of wikitables that are formatted for the old style. Me, personally, I tend to avoid the infoboxes completely. We may be a parody of Wikipedia, but fuck their infoboxes, amiright?

Anyway, all the fields on that template are optional, and I really didn't put too much thought into designing 'em. Feel free to recommend any new ones you can think of. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Apr 11 '12 8:17 (UTC)

OK thanks, maybe I'll think of new ones, btw, I recommend Earth's Children, which I had absolutely nothing to do in the writing. Mattsnow 11:59, April 12, 2012 (UTC)

You will not believe me, but I created a template (by looking at other templates and copying this shit): Template:Resident Evil I just can't get the pic to be exactly centered (top to bottom) Are you 1337 enough? And did you abstain from voting on Earth's Children? Sorry for all the whoring, but I worked a lot on that, I'm a bit discouraged to see it stalling on VFH. Sorry to bother you if you think it's excessive whoring. Mattsnow 13:53, April 14, 2012 (UTC)

Also, could we get the links to show up as black??? They're hard to see in their current blueness. Thanks, I asked you because you're always helpful! :) Mattsnow 13:58, April 14, 2012 (UTC)

Matt: I haven't voted on any VFH articles recently; I've had a bit of writer's block recently, and I find that reading other people's stuff isn't helping. Also, I've never read those books, and I suspect you need to be somewhat familiar with them to "get" the jokes. I might get around to reading and voting on it at some point, though. Don't worry too much that it's stalled, the admins are in the wind anyway, and the ones who are still around aren't too hasty about killing noms, anyway.

I will go have look at your template and see if I can fix it. I recommend against using a mainspaced template just for Resident Evil, though, because the admins hit me about the head and shoulders on my first day when I made one. I might suggest a sub-page of your article, unless you're thinking of doing the whole series. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sat, Apr 14 '12 14:15 (UTC)

What if I add it to other resident evil articles? (it's very silly I forgot to do that) Mattsnow 14:19, April 14, 2012 (UTC)

Ha! I should've looked before I said anything. You're fine. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sat, Apr 14 '12 14:27 (UTC)

I'm on IRC btw, for maybe 30 mins, if you have time. Unless someone here gets crushed under a truck or caught in an explosion (wouldn't want to miss the aftermath!) Mattsnow 14:30, April 14, 2012 (UTC)

I tweaked that template. The image should now be horizontally centered, and the text should stick to the right side. I also changed - to • as it looks better imo. BB, I posted something on Villahj Ideeut's talk about a JS thingy I was thinking of. If you feel up to js coding you might be able to lend a hand. Nominally Humane! 02:53 14 Apr

F U puppy I was working on that. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sat, Apr 14 '12 15:05 (UTC)

You're welcome. Nominally Humane! 03:32 14 Apr

By the way, I'm sure it has slipped everybody's memory, but I am currently working on a complete re-write of that tagging script that's been cobbled together over the years and which is currently a pile of bird poop. I'll see what I can do about the other, though. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sat, Apr 14 '12 15:34 (UTC)

Yes, it had. Nominally Humane! 02:03 15 Apr

That applet

I uploade this one using that applet. I've left a long note on my talk page in relationship to what I was playing with earlier. You will probably look at my code and pick out 50 errors, but you have to remember I suck as js. Why can't I use vbs on everything? Nominally Humane! 12:48 15 Apr

Because VisualBasic Script sucks dingo donkey dolphin whale balls. I hate VBS, and you should, too. I should have never learned it. Set this, Set that, "Error: a Sub may not use ()" the other. AND WHY CAN'T I MAKE CUSTOM OBJECTS WITHOUT DECLARING A FUCKING CLASS? Fuck you Microsoft. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Apr 15 '12 13:09 (UTC)

I know vbs better as I have used vba at work, and I started coding in BASIC when I was a kid. (Yes, I am that old.) I have never officially studied any programming language, with the exception of a smattering of js as part of a 20 hour HTML design course. The reason why my coding skills are hit and miss is I have had to teach myself. Oh - that applet worked beautifully! Nominally Humane! 01:15 15 Apr

Of course it worked. I am the Javascript God. You may bow before me, but please...don't drool on my shoes. I just had them shined. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Apr 15 '12 13:25 (UTC)

Cool. So that other script - I saved it as a HTML and it worked. The regex is a better way of doing it though. What do you think? Nominally Humane! 01:30 15 Apr

Yeah, the regular expression is better, because it doesn't matter where in the URL they move the ID, so long as it's enclosed by slashes. It doesn't count slashes, it just looks for a series of digits between 'em. And I'm working on a jquery expression that you can slip in your uncyclopedia.js file for testing. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Apr 15 '12 13:34 (UTC)

Doesn't seem to be working - have no difference when viewing on phone, or on pc. Did you just want to double check my User:PuppyOnTheRadio/uncyclopedia.js to ensure I haven't buggered it up? Nominally Humane! 12:13 16 Apr

Oh, I see what the problem is. You're using monobook, and I'm an idiot. Try moving that code to User:PuppyOnTheRadio/common.js, then purge it, then refresh your cache. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Mon, Apr 16 '12 0:50 (UTC)

Er, belay that. I have to find out what the name of the goddamned file is that we're supposed to use if we want stuff to work in both monobook and the default (vector) skin. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Mon, Apr 16 '12 0:55 (UTC)

(tears out handfuls of hair) Ok, copy that code to User:PuppyOnTheRadio/monobook.js, then clear your cache. You can leave it in that other file, too, and it won't hurt anything. Should work. If it doesn't, I'm taking hostages tonight. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Mon, Apr 16 '12 1:30 (UTC)

I'd switched over to vector and it worked beautifully. I've now stuck it into the other two js files, and changed my skin back. (Is it just me, or does vector do stupid things on IE7 and earlier?) Nominally Humane! 01:54 16 Apr

Vector goes completely to shit in IE7. Feel free to blame Lyrithya. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Mon, Apr 16 '12 13:46 (UTC)

IE7 is completely shit. So it kinda works. Nominally Humane! 02:02 16 Apr

Your js skills (again)

I'm trying to get the curid from a diff URL. So if I have a url of http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/HowTo:Be_absurdly_funny_and_not_just_a_content_freak?curid=574584&diff=5482234&oldid=5444228 and have a js like below:

if ( unescape( document.location.href ).indexOf( "diff=" ) > -1 ) {
  alert(stick it here!);
}

It spits out an alert of 574584. Hope that makes sense. I figure I can do a find curid and spit out a string that is the url starting from that point + 6, and then find the first ? and cut off the end of that new string, but you did some magic with the regexp the other day that might be able to do it simpler. Or something. Nominally Humane! 05:37 18 Apr

Try this: var href = unescape( document.location.href ); matches = href.match( /curid=(\d{6})&/ ); if ( matches && matches[ 1 ] ) alert( matches[ 1 ] )  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Apr 18 '12 5:55 (UTC)

The 6 is the minimum length? Nominally Humane! 06:43 18 Apr

Actually, 6 is the length. If you want it to be the minimum, with no upper limit, you should use {6,}. For a lower limit of 6 and an upper limit of N, {6,N}. For 1 or more digits, you'd use \d{1,}, or the much-simpler \d+ . Yay, Regular Expressions! They are full of win!. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Apr 18 '12 7:00 (UTC)

I tried it, failed, and went to the string manipulation method I was doing. Next question - is there a way to write/read links on an uncyc page without opening it? (I know the qvfd script does it, but I don't know where that is hidden. Any ideas?) Nominally Humane! 07:49 18 Apr

Well, for reading, yeah, there is, using AJAX (preferably jQuery, because the site already has it) and the wikia API. Writing, on the other hand, is a bit more involved. To fetch just the links, you might try something like this:

     $.ajax({
          url: "/api.php?action=query&titles=" + wgPageName.replace( /_/g, " " )
               + "&prop=revisions|info|links&pllimit=500&rvprop=content&rvlimit=1&format=xml&intoken=edit",
          type: "GET",
          dataType: "xml"
          })
          .done( function( jqObj, status, xhr ){ doSomething( $( jqObj ).find( "pl" ) ) })

...where doSomething() is your custom function that receives a NodeList that holds all of the pages that link from the page queried. The above code, when run against this page, returns the following node list:

     [ <pl ns= "0" title= "24"> </pl>,
     <pl ns= "0" title= "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy"> </pl>,
     <pl ns= "0" title= "Anal sex"> </pl>,
     <pl ns= "0" title= "Asshole"> </pl>,
     ...
     <pl ns= "114" title= "HowTo: Milk a Cow"> </pl> ]

(...um...seriously, guys, stop linking to this shit on my talk page.)

Anyway, fun stuff.

Say, why didn't the regex work? ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Apr 18 '12 8:21 (UTC)

Because I had a ) where I needed a }. It was my fault, but I went back and redid it the way I first had in mind to get it all working, and then changed it over to the rexexp. Having a look at MediaWiki:Gadget-quickvfd.js it uses a Yahoo thingy. Do we have any other "write to" options? Nominally Humane! 09:50 18 Apr

Well, there's really only one option, and that's jQuery. The "yahoo thingy" is simply an out-of-date Javascript/XML ("AJAX") interface that the browser uses to interact with the Wikia API on the server. There are dozens of client-side APIs out there, but Yahoo and jQuery are the ones we've got. And from what I'm told, the Yahoo one may be going away at some point. That's why all the code snippets I've done here, so far, have used jQuery. We could probably upload something else, like Prototype or dojo, but jQuery apparently comes standard with MediaWiki, and the other options would be a pain to keep updated.

And that quickvfd gadget is one of the things I am currently rewriting from scratch.

Hope that answers your question. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Apr 18 '12 10:21 (UTC)

So I need to learn how to use jquery and ignore that QVFD script. Do you have a working example of something that does write/read from a page using this? (I learn coding from stealing working examples usually, and if I can cannibalise it saves me having to get you to do all the coding for me from the ground up.) Nominally Humane! 11:14 18 Apr

Right up ^ there above, that example that begins with $.ajax.

     $.ajax({
          url: "/api.php?action=query&titles=" + wgPageName.replace( /_/g, " " )
               + "&prop=revisions|info|links&pllimit=500&rvprop=content&rvlimit=1&format=xml&intoken=edit",
          type: "GET",
          dataType: "xml"
          })
          .done( onFetch )
          .fail( onFail )

     function onFetch( jqObj, status, xhr ) {
          //do stuff with either jqObj, or the semi-raw xhr (XmlHttpRequest) object
          }
     function onFail( jqObj, status, xhr ) {
          alert( "whoops! Looks like we failed to fetch the page!" )
          }

That will fetch a page; onFetch will handle the response, onFail...well, you get the idea.

Actually committing an edit is more involved, and due to some browser bugs, can result in a page that is chopped in half (Romartus's browser did that numerous times before he switched). I might post parts of what I'm working on, later today or tomorrow, if you want to screw around with it. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Apr 18 '12 12:00 (UTC)

That script

Is there any reason why it should be doing nothing for me? I have it and the Flickr import script in my Forum:The IP experienceTheRadio/monobook.js]] and not getting the funk. (And I'm too brain dead today to work anything out.) Nominally Humane! 09:50 22 Apr

Um....well, first off, I haven't marked any pages as patrolled. Also, the "Mark" tab is kinda...easy to miss. You sure it's not working? ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Apr 22 '12 9:53 (UTC)

Mark tab shows on diff pages? I'm getting the standard (plus tag and ban patrol) as tabs. And I'm not completely sure. You mind marking a page for me, so I can at least confirm I have it imported goodly? Nominally Humane! 10:15 22 Apr

Just did. Check recent changes. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Apr 22 '12 10:18 (UTC)

Yannow what? I bet this is another monobook/vector issue. Hang on a second, lemme switch over. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Apr 22 '12 10:19 (UTC)

I think I've got it. I think it was a caching thing (duh). Does it look for all three ids (c, d, & o) to be marked off? Nominally Humane! 10:22 22 Apr

I'm not sure I know what you mean. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Apr 22 '12 10:26 (UTC)

What I mean is this:

 http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User_talk:Bizzeebeever?curid=648245&diff=5486230&oldid=5486226
 http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User_talk:Bizzeebeever?curid=648245&diff=5486230&oldid=5482607

It shows the current (prior to me doing this) revision of your talk page. One reflects the last 7 changes, whereas the other shows just the last one. I was thinking of just highlighting where the diff=xyz, no matter what the oldid was. That means if I look at the grouped changes I can see that the latest change has been checked. Theoretically people don't need to check every intermediate change, and the curid will not show if the page has been edited again (as I'm doing now). Also, you're absolutely right - we have to set it up so marking a page doesn't show on recent changes, or is distinct enough that it won't be something we stumble to check.

And don't think for a second being nitpicky means I'm not grateful. It's a brilliant job! Nominally Humane! 10:48 22 Apr

You'll have to bear with me a few minutes. I'm poking around. I'll see if I can get it figured out. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Apr 22 '12 10:58 (UTC)

Sadly, it looks like our choices for hiding checked_diffs from recent pages are, if not limited, then rather difficult.

1. Have an admin stick a jQuery hack in the main site script to hide it on RC. This won't hide it from folks who use Uncyc without JavaScript, and if it is being used in a heavy-duty fashion, it will flood RC completely for everybody, anyway. So that's a no-go.
2. The second-lamest choice: use the google API and google's servers as a proxy (to work around the cross-site security implementations in all browser) to send our diffs to an off-site server. Unfortunately, I don't have any server space anywhere, and I don't know anybody who does. If you do, let me know.
3. Have the script poke a bot, which commits the edit for us. I don't have a bot, and even if I did, I don't have a server for it to run on. Skullthumper doesn't want to commit fnoodle, and MrN9001 isn't online perpetually (as furs I know), and I have no idea if Lyrithya's bot is up 24-7, but just try and ask her, do.

Anyway, those are our options, apparently. There's no hack that will work with CSS, or I'd go that route.

And as for what you mentioned up above, I'm still working on it, so...  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Apr 22 '12 11:21 (UTC)

MrN9001 runs on AWB, which is not 24/7. As for server space, blogger or similar? Nominally Humane! 11:36 22 Apr

Blogger.com? I dunno. Can you edit the same page over and over again remotely? And wouldn't that violate their TOS or something? ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Apr 22 '12 11:41 (UTC)

I'm trying it right now, and it's not working (probably as I have not included it correctly) anyway... Yea. I think we would need to get this "hidden" page thing sorted somehow. MrN 11:57, Apr 22

Actually. My bad. It is working for me now. Nice! What would happen if we had say 100,000 entries in our checked database? Would that not knacker the speed? Maybe the list would need to be trimmed over time? MrN 12:04, Apr 22

Yeah, as soon as we get it hidden from RC, I'll put a clause in there that will truncate it at 30kB. That's about 1000 different entries, or quite enough to cover several days of RC diffs. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Apr 22 '12 12:11 (UTC)

Actually I think we usually hit around that in a day - I'm sure there are stats on it somewhere. RC only goes back a maximum of 500 though. We should be able to keep track of enough with just 1,000 fairly easily, especially given we (ideally) won't be overlapping any more. Onthe other side of the coin, I also created Forum:The IP experience earlier. Once this is in place we can (theoretically) systematically deal with bad edits, which should leave us more time to respond to the editors in question. Would appreciate feedback from both of you on there. Nominally Humane! 01:03 22 Apr

You

Get...

Jolly Good Show! MrN9000 could not help but notice that you have been doing some spiffingly good deeds of late. As such, you have been awarded this rather nice boxy type thing by way of recognition. Congratulations.

Regardless if you actually want it or not (probably not). Anyway, thanks for your recent efforts with stuff and such. We might still end up needing the code you wrote when we figure out that patrolled edits don't actually do what we want. Anyway, enough with me attempting to be pleasant. I don't like it at all, and so if you will excuse me... MrN 20:40, Apr 25

Wumbo article

Please read the "talk" page on the Wumbo article. --Craw1 (talk) 15:18, April 29, 2012 (UTC)

Once more

Thank you again for your advice with Salvador Dalí, who for the 30th time today I wish didn't have that annoying grave accent. That tiny bit of code did exactly what I wanted. --C₂H₆O (hic) 10:41, May 1, 2012 (UTC)

Happy to help. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Tue, May 1 '12 10:56 (UTC)

UotM

(I saw you got the MrN award. That's a very big deal, congratulations!) It's been traditional for the uotm to be a one-time award, as far as I know, so you are a tradition breaker. Bad bad tradition breaker. But you got the MrN award, which makes everything alright. Aleister 2:53 May Day Boxing Day '12

Yeah, I figured there was some such tradition, but a lot of the guys currently doing good stuff on the wiki have actually won the award before (you, pup, xam, zombiebaron, frosty, MrN, etc, etc). I wanted to give encouragement to Syc and Sims because I hadn't seen them in a while, and I wanted to let them know somebody noticed. And you and Pup have won it more recently than either of them. Hope I didn't cheese anybody off too much, but traditions were meant to be broken. Er, were they meant to be upheld? I get my definitions mixed up. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, May 2 '12 3:18 (UTC)

Very logical, and I can see the logic, but it caused me to nom Puppy because of his amazing two months (they really were), and then that turned the drama hose on again, and I had to withdraw his nom to avoid the drama. I think everyone who has the UotM see it as a fraternity, that we are the few, the proud, and once you win it it's likes having the badge already. At least that's how it seemed to be. These are strange days, as everything is topsy-turvy and black is white and white is something else entirely. Al (UTC)

Don't worry Al, it's just that the AND A DUNK BY JAVALE MCGEE!!! peyote is wearing off. (Sorry, playoff basketball is on.) ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, May 2 '12 3:37 (UTC)

Why would someone be cheering a duck painted by some creature named Javale Mcgee. More peyote, please. Aleister *UTC)

I would like to bring your attention to this forum

Forum:Vote to De-Op Lyrithya Nominally Humane! 03:20 07 May

I need an image

I'm looking for an opening image for History of the world. I have no idea what I want. What can you do for me? Nominally Humane! 10:48 08 May

• Earth, from outer space, lit up with tiny explosions. (Welcome to Obviousville. Population: you.)
• One caveman clubbing another caveman, while stealing his fire. (You are now entering Dead Jokeston.)
• A woodcut of a medieval monk with crossed eyes, a really long, dirty beard full of crumbs, a massive quill pen, and a scrolled legend reading: "Mendax Ingentus". Caption: "The full written history of the world prior to 1250 BCE exists due solely to the efforts of this perfectly reliable, disinterested historian."
• Uhhh...I'll get back to you. These are the best I could come up with on short notice. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Tue, May 8 '12 11:05 (UTC)

I'm confident you'll have something brilliant come to you. That's why I asked. There's no rush, so feel free to wait for the muse. Nominally Humane! 11:16 08 May