User talk:TheReturnOfJazz

Hello, TheReturnOfJazz and thanks for joining Uncyclopedia! Before editing further, please create an account, and then take a gander at our Beginner's Guide. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, check out the following pages:

About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue Votes for Highlight Page - read the very best articles and have your say about what goes onto our front page Pee Review - a place to get detailed feedback on your articles Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (TheReturnOfJazz (talk) 07:35, 11 November 2022 (UTC)) or use the "sign" button (OOjs UI icon signature-ltr.svg) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, feel free to ask me on my talk page, post on our community forum, join our Discord, or message an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, our Adopt-a-Noob program can bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please create an account to get special privileges (such as editing semi-protected pages), and to hide your IP address, as it can be used to track your location. TheReturnOfJazz (talk) 07:35, 11 November 2022 (UTC)

VELCOMMIN!

Hello, TheReturnOfJazz, and thanks for joining Uncyclopedia! Before editing further, please create an account, and then take a gander at our Beginner's Guide. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, check out the following pages:

About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue Votes for Highlight Page - read the very best articles and have your say about what goes onto our front page Pee Review - a place to get detailed feedback on your articles Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (TheReturnOfJazz (talk) 07:37, 11 November 2022 (UTC)) or use the "sign" button (OOjs UI icon signature-ltr.svg) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, feel free to ask me on my talk page, post on our community forum, join our Discord, or message an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, our Adopt-a-Noob program can bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please create an account to get special privileges (such as editing semi-protected pages), and to hide your IP address, as it can be used to track your location. TheReturnOfJazz (talk) 07:37, 11 November 2022 (UTC)

Is there any way for us to know that you're Mrthejazz?

Yeah, sorry, I don't really trust you on that one. An old, returning user? To Uncyclopedia? It's unlikely. I just find this all so weird. Is there any way to confirm your identity? Should I ask some questions about Old Uncyc? ARandomPage, the named space (ARandomTalkPage) (Stuff they do) 13:44, 12 November 2022 (UTC)

Setting aside the question of why anyone would want to impersonate me,

The best answer I can give is that I could share stories that some of the older users may remember. You'd need to find someone from around that time who's still active though. Far as I can tell only person is Shabadoo. He used to kind of look up to me? Looks like he's far surpassed all that now lol.

If you look at my userpage it now says "deleted user" and some numbers. That's because I asked ZB to delete my stuff a while ago. I went through a little online harassment scare but it came to nothing in the end. EMC once sent me money for a contest and took forever to send it. He also used to do prank calls on Skype to "The Manhole" a gay sex hotline. Don't know if that helps prove anything or not but I promise it's me.

I'm running into a weird issue though. I'm able to type and post on mobile but when I try to use my computer it asks me to verify my email, but I'm not getting the verification email? TheReturnOfJazz (talk) 16:40, 12 November 2022 (UTC)

Well, could you share one of the weirdest Uncyc things you experienced on your old account and send a link to that page via Special:Diff or whatever? On the email thing, I had a similar email issue too, but on the Spoon, and I was still able to edit. I don't know why this happens, unfortunately, so I can't help you on this. ARandomPage, the named space (ARandomTalkPage) (Stuff they do) 03:10, 13 November 2022 (UTC)

It's working now. So I guess it was just behaving weird. What do you mean by Special:Diff? I always thought the revision history just posted the dates of things? I didn't even know they had numbers to it. Truth be told, the admin backgroundy stuff was always not my strong suit. But one article I always had a lot of fun writing, and a lot of admin help on was Beige. I actually had to research how to replace the Uncyclopedia icon in the corner with my "Beigeopedia" image, not to mention having to get the feature article template edited to beige. It doesn't look like it, but that article took a shit ton of work to get it to look right. I also noticed, User:DeletedUser0001/passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood < == that was my favorite running joke. I'd make a random UnNews article, use that template about something horrifically violent and then just post that over and over. I thought it was erased with my username but I guess it was just moved to the "deleted user" Originally I stole the idea from the Onion, but I did it better. :) Don't know if that proves anything really. The manhole story with EMC is absolutely true though. Also, I'm responsible for the character sock User:Diane. I no longer can edit because I lost the credentials, but that was a lot of fun too. I made a bunch of really obscure puzzles to get to the subpages but all you have to really do is type the beginning of the username and the subpages pop up in the search. Doh! Oh, and in the audio files on the Diane subpages I used my steganography skills to hide images in the sound. :) Only other way I can think to prove myself is to, I don't know, quiz me I guess? I mean, if I was going to impersonate someone, I'd choose an admin or something so ... yeah. Guess it really doesn't matter. I'm mainly here to have fun. TheReturnOfJazz (talk) 03:34, 13 November 2022 (UTC)

Oh and the users User:TOAST and User:BAGEL were me dex and EMC. Sorry to out you guys. TheReturnOfJazz (talk) 03:46, 13 November 2022 (UTC)

It was probably 90 percent them. TheReturnOfJazz (talk) 03:47, 13 November 2022 (UTC)

also a favorite article of mine that never got VFH Don’t some work at the time, people were passing around a little self help article by Famine about actually doing work. I got tired of seeing that everywhere and made a parody of it. I got Lyrithia to Pee Review it. TheReturnOfJazz (talk) 04:29, 13 November 2022 (UTC)

“Crushed TV screens”?

Why da fuck? Did u crush the LCD TV screen? Don't crush an old CRT screen!!! Crush any LED screens and dont crush plasma too! LED screens are fucking bad! Cause of flickering and marks after fixing the same image in 1, 2, 4 or 8 minutes... I prefer flickering in CRT cause of the whining at 15 kHz!!! I don't like to see jitters (ex: 25 FPS with ≈ 90 Hz) So... Best regards; 🇨🇵le Djibril EXPRESS🇨🇵 - 🚂🚃🚃🚃 18:58, 12 November 2022 (UTC)

I touch all power inverters. TheReturnOfJazz (talk) 19:02, 12 November 2022 (UTC)

AWCH!!! 🇨🇵le Djibril EXPRESS🇨🇵 - 🚂🚃🚃🚃 19:03, 12 November 2022 (UTC)

it's the only way to know they work. TheReturnOfJazz (talk) 19:05, 12 November 2022 (UTC)

Bruh... 🇨🇵le Djibril EXPRESS🇨🇵 - 🚂🚃🚃🚃 19:07, 12 November 2022 (UTC)

Blocked

You have been blocked from editing for a period of 924 seconds for liking the harpsichord. If you think there are good reasons for being unblocked, please write them down on a pineapple and shove it right up your ass. Once the block has expired, you are welcome to make useful contributions, but it is highly recommended that you stop liking the harpsichord. Thaaanks! --MrX blow me 19:31, 14 November 2022 (UTC)

Psh. I don't even actually like the harpsichord. I was just trying to be a fancy edgelord. I hope it worked. TheReturnOfJazz (talk) 19:52, 14 November 2022 (UTC)

It worked. You will now forever be known as a fancy pants :) MrX blow me 21:21, 14 November 2022 (UTC)

Old lady MacIntyre

Would like to nom this for feature in a bit. Mind having a read over? Any thoughts, suggestions? ShabiDOO 00:21, 23 November 2022 (UTC)

Dildo article

Gave it a go over as you suggested. Added a couple concepts to it, like the outraged diner who then becomes meek when the chef comes out, and added some more sexual innuendo to it. Whaddaya think? ShabiDOO 20:53, 1 January 2024 (UTC)

BTW someone nominated it! ShabiDOO 12:51, 6 January 2024 (UTC)

Was me --+-=÷x Sapplerx x÷=-+ (talk) 19:26, 6 January 2024 (UTC)

Rock and roll!!!