Beige

Alright class, please turn to page 34083 of your textbooks. The color beige, also occasionally referred to as buff, camel, oatmeal, tan, sand, biscuit, cream, ecru, mushroom, yellow mist, cosmic latte, old lace, linen, antique white, blanched almond, light goldenrod, lemon chiffon, cornsilk, papaya whip, champagne, banana mania, moccasin, peach-yellow, wheat, bisque, Navajo white, light khaki, pale goldenrod, pale canary yellow, flax, desert sand, khaki, dark-khaki, french beige, pale brown, mode beige, and beige, is a neutral color with light warm overtones. Originally, the color was used to describe one specific shade, a shade similar to cream but different due to the fact that it was beige. Now however, the color is typically used by the general populace as a way of describing any light brown color, ranging from the aforementioned cream, all the way to yellowish brown or even tan, also an aforementioned color.

Beige is a color that is a little more yellowish and creamish than white, although it is admittedly very similar to white. When looking at the color beige, one can definitely detect both a subtle whiteness as well as a "lack of whiteness." People who have described the color beige have often stated that the color was "not quite white". This is most likely the case. The word comes from the phrase "beige cloth", a cotton fabric left to it's natural state and color, that color being the color beige.

Things that are either beige or have the word beige in them

Beige phones are commonly used to make phone calls to various places, such as perhaps a package delivery service, or to Human Resources. Do you need to order more Staples for your office supply company? Perhaps it would be wise to make the call on a beige phone.

While the fact that there are things that are not beige can be considered common knowledge, there are also other things that are beige. This is evident by the fact that things are sometimes beige. Following is a list of the aforementioned things that are either beige or have the word beige in them, thus giving them a certain beige-like quality.

Things that are either beige or have the word beige in them:

Beige Records

A Recording Company that records elevator music.

Airplane cockpits

Airplane cockpits tend to be beige so that pilots can relax and not freak out about things such as, who ate the fish, or why the stewardess is blowing the ship's autopilot, or what that damn thing on the wing is, or "where did all the snakes go?"

"The Summary of Commentary on Current Economic Conditions"

"The Summary of Commentary on Current Economic Conditions" is a book that assists people who would like to know what other people have commented on regarding current economic issues and challenges. It is a soothing read, especially appropriate for bathroom reading, or for people who wish to study the opinions of others on the economy. The book is primarily colored beige.

Computers

Sometimes these are beige. Other times, an entire mouse, keyboard, monitor, tower, speaker set, printer, and modem set can all be the factory standard color of beige. The "Institute for Studying the Correct Color of Beige and Related Beige-Like Colors", or I.S.C.C.B.R.B.L.C., are discussing the possibility of voting on creating a group to vote on the naming of a new beige-like color, "standard-factory-computer-beige", pending the approval from the Assistant Junior Vice President in training. Sadly, the great age of beige design and thought, peaking in 1973 (referred to as "Peak Beige" in the literature) appears to be drawing to a close.

This finely dressed Harvard graduate majored in Business and minored in Box Folding.

Ethnography

According to a census report, some people are colored beige. Ethnographer and Anthropologist Billy Connolly has studied Beigiosity extensively. The average color of the universe is actually beige. They call it "cosmic beige." Technically, this means everything is beige.

Fashion

Cargo pants, also known as "khakis" are usually beige, although individuals at the I.S.C.C.B.R.B.L.C. have a few diverse opinions on the matter. While some of the beigeologists find khakis to be colored beige, others believe the color to be more closely related to tan, sand, or khaki. The fact that different shades of khaki pants exist makes the whole issue difficult to quantify. The I.S.C.C.B.R.B.L.C's annual beigeness report states that this year, the United States government invested over 1.2 billion dollars on this issue alone. Some of this vital research was privately funded by the BurBerry company, the world's leading Beige fashion house. Field Marshall Rommel became the spokesman for BurBerry in 1941 and chose Beige as the defining motif in his spring 1942 collection.

Cashmere beige twinsets are sometimes prescribed by Home County doctors for those following a strictly Beige diet and lifestyle. It has been established by the Damart clothing company that Beige foundation garments have a calming effect on the male libido and are the equal of Bromide in his tea, or Readers Digest in suppressing that sort of thing.

Film

Beige has also appeared as the lead character of a filmic serial story by Peninsula SUFM published in installments throughout July and August 2007. It was named the Serial Drama Movie and involved characters such as Red, Blue and Yellow, who were too cool for Beige, and made him feel ostracized. Beige was never at any time a power ranger.

Etymology of the word Beige

The English word "beige" actually comes from the French word "beige", meaning "anything that is beige or has a beige like quality in its appearance, taste, or consistency. "It may derive from the Beignet, a beige doughnut-like confection resembling a square beige turd (German Krapfnen or Spritzkuchen). As mentioned previously, the difference between beige and French beige is purely arbitrary because it is likely that in one thousand years, "beige" will cease to mean "The color beige" and will instead come to mean something else, probably significantly less beige.

Music

My Beige Bear is a song created by Jonathan Coulton. It is found on his eight album: The Aftermath. His other seven albums show a 100 percent decrease in the mentioning of the color beige, and certainly not in the context of bears.

Sports

Beige was the color of New Zealand Cricket team from 1984-1989. They did alright.

Examples of colors that are not considered beige

There are quite a few colors that are not normally considered beige. Definitionally speaking, colors that are not considered beige are not considered beige because the majority of society believes them to not be beige. Due to the arbitrary nature of sign theory and language in general, if all of society were to start calling a particular color beige, like say "Willy Wonka purple", then that color would officially be considered beige and no longer purple. The current listing of colors merely reflects what colors currently are not beige, and it is important to note that "beige" and "not beige" is subject to arbitrary change at any point in time, but only if everybody decides so. Nevertheless, beige is close to the opposite color of black, but not quite.

The following colors are generally not considered beige by the general populace, generally speaking:

An example of the color beige.

Amethyst, Byzantium, Cerise, Eggplant, Fandango, Fuchsia, Han purple, Heliotrope, Indigo, Iris, Lavender, Lavender blush, Lilac, Magenta, Mauve, Orchid, Palatinate, Periwinkle, Peri Winkler ^[1] Persian blue, Purple, Red-violet, Rose, Sangria, Thistle, Tyrian, Violet, Wisteria, Air Force blue, Bring a flag and a box of his stuff on a rainy day blue, Alice blue, Azure, Baby blue, Bleu de France, Blue, Bondi blue, Brandeis blue, Cambridge Blue, Carolina blue, Ceil, Cerulean, Cobalt blue, Columbia blue, Cornflower blue, Cyan, Dark blue, Deep sky blue, Denim, Dodger blue, Duke blue, Egyptian blue, Electric blue, Eton blue, Federal Blue, Glaucous, Han blue, Iceberg, Indigo, International Klein Blue, Iris, Light blue, Majorelle Blue, Maya blue, Midnight blue, Navy blue, Non-photo blue, Palatinate blue, Periwinkle, Persian blue, Powder blue, Prussian blue, Royal blue, Sapphire, Dark Chocolate, Sky blue, Torched Sky Grey, Steel blue, Steal Blue (Stop! Thief!), Teal, Tiffany Blue, Tufts Blue, UCLA Blue, Ultramarine, Yale Blue, Alice blue, Aqua, Aquamarine, Baby blue, Bondi blue, Cerulean, Cyan, Electric blue, Midnight green, Pine green, Rainshower, Robin egg blue, Teal, Date Rape Red, Turquoise, Verdigris, Viridian, Army green, Asparagus, Bright green, British racing green, Cal Poly Pomona green, Camouflage green, Celadon, Chartreuse, Clover, Dartmouth green, Electric green, Electric slide green, Electric Eel green, Not really electric at all green, Emerald, Fern green, Forest green, Gray-asparagus Green, Green-yellow, Harlequin, Honeydew, Hooker's green, Hunter green, India green, Islamic green, Jade, Jungle green, Kelly green, Cindy Lauper Green, Lime, Lime green, Lemon lime green, Buy a Sprite today! Midnight green, Mint cream, Mint cum, Moss green, Floss green, MSU Green, MSG Green, Myrtle the turtle green, Office green, Olive, Olive drab, Paris Green, Pear, Persian green, Pigment green, Pine green, Rifle green, Rocky Road, Rooster Red, Sacramento State green, Sap green, Sea green, Shamrock green, Spring bud, Spring green, Tea green, Teal, UP Forest green, Viridian, Yellow-green, Gray, Arsenic, Ash gray, Battleship gray, Bistre, Crushed Soul Orange, Black, Cadet gray, Charcoal, Cinereous, Cool gray, dark brown, ^[2] Davy's gray, Feldgrau, Glaucous, Isabelline, Liver, Payne's gray , Platinum, Seal brown, Silver, Slate gray, Taupe, Purple taupe, Medium taupe, Taupe gray, Pale taupe, Rose quartz, White, Xanadu, Alizarin crimson, Amaranth, American Rose, Auburn, Brown, Ron Burgundy, Burnt sienna, Candy apple red, Popped cherry red, Cardinal, Dead Cardinal, Carmine, Carnelian, Cerise, Chestnut, Coquelicot, Coral red, Crimson, Dark pink, Really really really dark pink, Somewhat dark but not really pink, Falu red, Fire brick, Fire engine red, Flame, Fuchsia, Lava, Light thulium pink, Magenta, Extreme snowboarding into a polar bear while drinking Mountain Dew greenish white, Mountbatten pink, Persian pink, Persian rose, Pink...Lust, Magenta, Maroon, Mauve, Mauve taupe, Orange-red, Persian red, Persimmon, Pink, Raspberry, Red, Red-violet, Redwood, Rose, Rose madder, Rose doesn't madder, Rosewood, Rosso corsa, Ruby, Rufous, Rust, Sangria, Scarlet, Sinopia, Terra cotta, Tuscan red, Upsdell red, Venetian red, Vermilion, Amaranth, Amaranth pink, Brink pink, Carmine pink, Carnation pink, Cerise, Cerise pink, Cherry blossom pink, Corpse fucking greenish brownish black, Coral pink, Dark pink, Deep carmine pink, Deep pink, Fandango, French rose, Snooty beret black, Fuchsia, Fuchsia pink, Hollywood cerise, Hot magenta, Hot pink, Lavender pink, Light pink, Puce, Double Puce, Triple goddamn fucking Puce, Puce Cubed, Pube Cuced, Rose, Rose pink, Ruby, Salmon pink, Shocking pink, "The Shocker" Brown, Tea rose, Thulian pink, Ultra pink, MK Ultra Pink, Gold,^[3] and Cyan.

↑ He's gay
↑ sometimes dark brown is considered beige, but most of the time it falls into the "not beige" category.
↑ There is much contention among the color organizing community about whether the color gold is a form of beige. Currently it is not, but this is subject to change.