Brown
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“And so, my fellow Americans: Ask not what Brown can do for you, but what you can do for Brown.”
“Right now, I could make a black person skin joke. I could, but I won't.”
Brown is actually the same colour as blue. It generally only looks different because of smell. If you see something that's blue, but your nose smells human waste, then your brain makes the colour appear brown to you. That's why you never see any brown in photographs.
Anyway...[edit | edit source]
A common misconception is that the sky is brown. This has came about because it often appears brown to people who themselves smell of waste. Their mind therefore tricks them into thinking that all blue things are brown. If there is no smell of waste around, then anyone can clearly see that the sky is blue.
In its golden variety, brown is known to have a texture like the sun. When you eat your golden grahams in the morning be sure to think of the golden variety sizzling in your mouth, and imagine you're eating fresh poo from your mother.
When grouped with other browns, it sucks at football.
The colour brown can also be VERY dangerous! If you look someone in the browneye, you are guaranteed to lose. It has similar powers to Superman: the ability to shoot from the eye.
If you go to Charlie's chocolate factory, you can expect to see the colour brown, as it's the colour the fat shit boy creams out of his anal hole when he falls into the chocolate river.
Brown is also the state colour of the glorious republic of Ubuntu.
Brown is also the official color of the republic of Mexico, that's why Mexicans call themselves "brown people".
PS: Don't confuse brown with blue, as you stand the chance to be very frightened by something that is not scary at all.
Van Halen[edit | edit source]
The rock band Van Halen is heavily associated with the colour brown. Eddie Van Halen is renowned for his famous 'brown sound' (though this may refer to Van Halen frankly being a bit shite). There also exists a renowned urban legend that Van Halen banish brown M&Ms from their dressing room, however scientific research by qualified scientologists has recently shown this to be a euphemism for David Lee Roth's much-publicised IBS, and that the "Brown M&Ms" are simply expelled from his colon.
What can Brown do for you?[edit | edit source]
Brown is also a color of people. Commonly mistaken as a race, brown people are actually from a variety of races, including Lassie and Ants. Common brown variants are the black (often mislabeled as African-American), the Indians and the Indians from India. Comic Carlos Mencia has also referred to Spanish-speakers as brown. However, this claim is being disputed at the Hague court for crimes against humanity by the British Raj (formerly known India, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh and Hereford). Although we all know beaners are brown as shit, yadadadadadadadadadamean? Recently, some scientists have debated whether Asians are brown too, but not enough evidence has been gathered. In addition, recently a new group of Brown people has emerged known as the Veriteans, originally lead by notable resident of the Spanish Riviera, Robert Kilroy Silk. However, there have been suggestions that this Permitan group achieved their brownness by means of use of Artificial Tanning Creams, after successive attempts to set up a new British Empire based in Ibiza had failed the group eventually dissipated.
In the near future, brown people will be the majority of people in the USA, western Europe, Australia, Canada and everywhere where white races used to live in (i.e. South Africa, Brazil, New Zealand and blue states such as California or Florida or New Jersey).
See also[edit | edit source]
