User:TOAST

	All Praise and Glory Be Theirs!
	This user has been promoted to the rank of Queen's Reader.
	Due to their site-topping talents in reading, all other chores formerly assigned to them have been rescinded. Unlike other ranks, this one is for life, and they will not be returning to their former tasks anytime soon. If you were hoping they would reply to a message, sorry to disappoint, but such a menial task is currently outside their job description.

This is not toast.

Things I've been blamed for

• The Grand Canyon
• The Irish Potato Famine
• The Thunderstorm of 1976
• The guy who always conveniently has anything needed stored in his ridiculously large 80s parachute pants
• On the Correct Handling of the Contradictions Among the People
• HowTo:Write on paper
• Anderson Cooper
• Boglet Of Ord
• 1947 Horse-Throwing Competition