Continuing on the "was here" userbox trend where people make userboxes saying they were here, Gammakid999, MK, and L10nM4st3r have userboxes of their own.
OPOSSUM made a contest for the title of "Moccasin Man" because he's done with moccasins.Soviet's Bot won by putting the most moccasins on OPOSSUM's userpage.
US President RealDonaldTrump made Testing the VFH widget (again) (do not feature!), a page that was meant to test some new feature. Turb0 then voted on its VFH page, with many others including me and several admins voting. Because I think I'm sooo clever, I made a VFH page for the VFH. And because Turbs also thinks he's soooo clever, he made a VFH page for that, and a VFH page for that. Gergdown also contributed somewhat to the joke. Alula later deleted the test page and closed all of the nominations.
Biopic
Cassie, also known as Cassandra, is a bureaucrat I'm pretty sure, and has been around for a long time. Anyway, she's not dead. Pretty sure. She's on the active users template and I hope she stays a while.
19:05, 14 January 2026 Alula (talk | contribs) blocked Turb0-Sunrise (talk | contribs) with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) (clearly learnt his lesson from last time. oh wait)
Abuse filter blocked MK with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) (Blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Mandatory cancellation)
L10nM4st3r and DaniPine3 blocked each other and unblocked themselves a lot. The entertaining edit summaries were "Not banned enough yet", "blocking me when i did nothing >:[", ">:]", "Finger slipped", "Finger slipped again", and "banged my head on the keyboard". See for yourself.
You, yes YOU, can rank some Uncyclopedian-made songs! Part of the hit albums Make it to Ketchikan and Bust into Boston these noises you hear before you can be ranked for the second time! So what are you waiting for?
Biopic
In the span of some time that I'm too lazy to count, Deemox has gone from a total noob to a slightly less total noob. He's already made an article and in my humble opinion has quite a lot of potential.
Are the allegations true? I'm not going to elaborate, for comedic effect. — Gammakid999
yes and no at the same time
favorite non-ASBOWAAT article that you didn't write — Fish on skates
uhh get back to me on that one
From The Logs
20:20, 19 January 2026 L10nM4st3r blocked DaniPine3 with an expiration time of 10 minutes (account creation disabled, autoblock disabled) (Not banned enough yet)
20:21, 19 January 2026 DaniPine3 blocked L10nM4st3r with an expiration time of 10 seconds (account creation disabled, cannot edit own talk page) (blocking me when I did nothing >:[)
Gergdown has unleashed an "Agenda 2026" that aims to make Uncyclopedia great again, one edit at a time. This plan has quite a few people onboard already, probably because people will join anything advertised in a big fancy box.
"Newcomer" and Wikipedia sock puppeteer has finally gotten unbanned after socking and vandalism. Three months ago, Teh Epik Duck consistently vandalised talk pages, forums and encyclopedic articles before being banned by Alula for being a dick.
In an attempt to bypass his ban, Teh Epik Duck told Alula
“Unblock me now you retard.”
– Teh Epik Duck
clearly showing this was his masterstroke. He resorted to socking but was quickly banned for an extended period of three months.
However, Duck requested his userpage and subpages be deleted as he has retired. Miss him, miss him.
Time's running out to vote for the xOTY awards and the top 10 articles of 2025! So what are you waiting for? Get your LaziBum to the polls and be opinionated!
01:52, 26 January 2026 DaniPine3 blocked Fish on skates with an expiration time of 1 minute and 40 seconds (account creation disabled, autoblock disabled, cannot edit own talk page) (suggesting that I, an ADMIN, should get banned. this is clearly conspiracy against the [totally non-existent] cabal!!!)
02:18, 26 January 2026 DaniPine3 blocked Fish on skates with an expiration time of 1 minute and 41 seconds (account creation disabled, cannot edit own talk page) (idea of Turb0-Sunrise (plus, you edit conflicted on my own talkpage!!!!))
00:32, 28 January 2026 DaniPine3 huffed page Your Article Name(wtf is this: content was: " == The Bee Movie Script == {{", and the only contributor was "Soviet's Bot")
At the end of January, the server of en.uncyclopedia.co went down. This led a bunch of people (Alula, Fish on skates, Gergdown, Turb0-Sunrise, Soviet, and RealDonaldTrump), to join the spoon and discover that Spike is a sockpuppet of OPOSSUM. The spoon's LPTEW also received a spike in activity as everybody from the fork scrambled to figure out what the heck was going on. Fish tried reaching out to Alula through wplace about what would happen to the Top 10 voting, which was extended a day to account for the server outage. The construction tag deadlines on multiple articles were also extended by a few days too.
It all started when our resident potatochopper and weeb MK hid the edit buttons on her userpage so no one could edit it. I, thinking I'm so clever, found an actual use for the visual editor and used it to prove I could still edit. This escalated into a vandalism contest much like the one OPOSSUM held, and even spread to pages like her editnotice and her signature. This is what the userpage looked like at the end of the silliness.
What do you think of saying "archibe" instead of "archive"? — Soviet
archibe
From The Logs
(spoon) 16:39, 31 January 2026 Spike blocked RealDonaldTrump with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled, email disabled, cannot edit own talk page) (You can't do that)
00:28, 2 February 2026 RealDonaldTrump blocked SPIKE with an expiration time of 4 millennia, 9 centuries, 9 decades, 9 years, 364 days, 17 hours, 49 minutes and 12 seconds (account creation disabled, email disabled, cannot edit own talk page) (You're not allowed to do that)
08:31, 2 February 2026 L10nM4st3r changed block settings for L10nM4st3r with an expiration time of 21:58, 1 February 9025 (account creation disabled) (Not banned enough yet)
This isn't a joke. We actually VFD'd an FA! Taylor Swift's "psy-op", an article[duh] created by alleged AI-writer Tranvit, has been fuckedbaleeted tossed down that super deep hole in Russia or wherever it is on VFD. MrX briefly lost his shit over it, before everybody seemingly forgot about it all. What were we talking about?
On LPTEW, Fish on skates started complaining about Turb0-Sunrise's constant edit conflicts. Both of them complained like 5-year-olds to DaniPine3, when ColonelKurtz decided to hold a fair trial, hearing both sides. Upon hearing both sides, Kurtz decided Turb0's description of the events wasn't detailed enough, at which point Fish threatened him. Hockey salmon was there too, for some reason. As with all court cases, it eventually came down to more angry five-year-old arguing. Aside from arguing, highlights include God making an appearance, confirming his secret gay relationship with Satan.
So. Uhh. Yeah. You probably know what a sitenotice is. Those things nobody looks at and dismisses as soon as they pop up. Well MrX had the bright idea to parody Wikipedia's 25 year anniversary. I made the editnotice, MrX made some tweaks, and long story short, my work is on every page of this website.[note 1]
Dani's revision of the original drawing. The horrors... nice tits on it though...
Fish's reply. Not to be confused with GlitchyZorua, the topic of the biopic, even though the damn wrapper puts it in the biopic section and i don't feel like adding more whitespace to this fucking thing to make it not in the biopic, even though this ridiculous rant is causing way more whitespace than should be allowed in an average UnSignpost issue
Demon spawning ground and local dumbassery[note 2] LPTEW has spawned yet another monstrosity, this time in the form of a moe personality of LPTEW itself. Fish on skates began the horrors, mentioning it in a completely unrelated thing, only for DaniPine3 to create an eldritch abomination beyond the wildest dreams of Satan himself.
These creations were met with mixed reactions, with GlitchyZorua calling for them to be killed with fire, ColonelKurtz having a stroke, Turb0-Sunrise forcing Fish to give hers red socks, and somebody masturbating. I heard it. It was in the broom closet.
If you see these creatures, seek medical attention immediately. You will likely die if exposed to these creatures for long periods of time. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.
The week is upon us. Forest Fire Week. BURN THE SHIT! BURN IT! MUAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhAHAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...
Biopic
There's a place in France or somewhere. They say there's nude dancing. Sounds like fun. This has nothing to do with GlitchyZorua, who is honestly great. They don't do much actual writing, but they're around. Mostly on VFD, but if you hide in the dark corners of MrX's talk page, Zorua'll be there.
10:57, 7 February 2026 Alula blocked DaniPine3 with an expiration time of 7 minutes and 5 seconds (account creation disabled) (Felt like it)
11:02, 7 February 2026 DaniPine3 blocked Alula with an expiration time of 1 hour and 8 minutes (account creation disabled, cannot edit own talk page) (Payback >:[)
11:10, 7 February 2026 Alula unblocked Alula(it's not very effective...)
11:12, 7 February 2026 Alula blocked DaniPine3 with an expiration time of 3 seconds (account creation disabled) (DaniPi3)
14:08, 9 February 2026 Alula blocked 50.206.73.246 with an expiration time of 1 day (anonymous users only, account creation disabled) (pay attention in class you idiot)
If your talkpage doesn't have some weird CSS on it,*cough* MKyou may be noticing that the good[I Don't Believe This] ol' USP looks a bit different. We've revamped[note 3] some stuff in the back.
First off, if you look at the super fucking old issuses, you'll see a little thing next to the issue number. We brought that back. Then we split the heading thingy in half. It doesn't do much, but it looks nicer. Then we put the heading in a box. Looks so fucking nice. Now we put the WHOLE THING in a bo- excuse me...
oh, oh,OH!
Where were we?
Quote(s) of the Week
“usiong hHE POWER OF NTO CORERCTINT WORDS I WILL UNCYCLEOPEDIA A MAJROR STROEK AND THEN TO STOP THE STOPKE THEY WWKKWKKWWKWKWKWKWJWWJ”
– ColonelKurtz
“I'd rather be Spamton, because back then he had a giant TV sugar daddy.”
You STUPID DUMBASSARY USER! How do you not know the proper way to speak the English language, Bad Motherfucker? As we all know, the correct way of spelling Doughnuts is Doughnuts!!! Obviously not dougnuts!!! In fact, since you said that, not only have you offended me, but the entire history of the Anglo-Saxon language chain, Bad Motherfucker. --DameFishonskatesDUNVFHUotM 21:04, 13 February 2026 (UTC)
Holy shit. They actually did it. ColonelKurtz got banned by Alula for "repeated creation of garbage pages, spamming discussions with gibberish/irrelevant messages, generally just being a dick, etc." Following a brief change of the blocking time to 2 hours by DaniPine3, Turb0-Sunrise put that one template on his page, with Soviet moving the old contents to a new page. People started taking his subpages in a process known as "article-trenching".
Aside from that, one of his last acts was voting against on my article on VFH. Soo... you could say it's mixed reactions from ol' Turb0.
For whatever reason, newcomer OrdinaryJoe1234 has been nominated a ton of articles like ChatGPT and Rickrolling. Despite being warned by Shabidoo, he has still continued nominating articles. Because of this, he has earned the nickname "The 2011th Fenris" from Fish on skates just now.
After the purging of the AI articles helped by Gergdown's revolution thingy, people want to do something about AI images. However, everyone has a different opinion. MrX, OPOSSUM, and Noopnurf want to leave the AI images alone, but Gergdown, Turb0-Sunrise, DaniPine3, MK, and I would like to do something. After a lengthy off-topic conversation on the user talk page of recently banned ColonelKurtz, a forum was created with the title of The Noopstein Files.
15:22 Alula blocked ColonelKurtz with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) (ugh)
20:31, 13 February 2026 DaniPine3 changed block settings for ColonelKurtz with an expiration time of 2 hours (account creation disabled) (hold on, why infinite? the guy hasn't done anything really bad now)
20:33, 13 February 2026 Alula changed block settings for ColonelKurtz with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) (dani don't bother, this is for his general behavior)
Because this only happens once in a whenever, we here at the USP would like to welcome Deemoxagoard aboard. Fuck. Shit. You STUPID DUMBASSARY USER! How do you not know the proper way to speak the English language, Turb0? As we all know, the correct way of spelling aboard is aboard!!! Obviously not agoard!!! In fact, since you said that, not only have you offended me, but the entire history of the Anglo-Saxon language chain, Turb0.
Anyways, welcome Deemox. There's cake here somewhere. Depending on if Bill ate it all. Fuck you, Bill.
Hell yeah, my actual wallet says Bad Motherfucker on it as well. I ordered it off of Amazon and I've had it for a few years, it's held up pretty good. BAD MOTHERFUCKERGET FUCKED! 22:27, 2 March 2026 (UTC)
Little do you know, I've got the UnSignpost![edit source]
A story that was built, a retrospective on the wildly popular ASBOxAAT series, listed February 22nd, 2026 as the date that L10nM4st3r would make a page called "A story built one advertisement at a time". After some pushing by Fish on skates and Gergdown, the page was made 5 days later. L10n, the geek he is, actually found a way to redirect the main page (yes, THAT main page) to editing the article. MrX and even I found that to be a bit too far, so after some mild craziness, the main page is back to how it is, and MrX may or may not be able to edit it. Don't mind the site notice.
Deemox, the noob that was covered here a few months(?) ago, has now become an extended confirmed user. He has now written around six articles, all of which are very good and you should read them. none of them will crash your computer I promise[citation needed]. they are all very high quality.
what is your opinion about the fact that I am in your floorboards? — Gammakid999
no you're not. i checked.
Does it ever hail in Boston? Because believe it or not, it does in Ventura (Wait, never mind, that was graupel, or maybe sleet.) — OPOSSUM
the last time it did was maybe, 4 years ago?
Does the sun ever set on the Bostonian Empire? — alula
no
Did you know that you're really bad at checking if someone is in your floorboards? — Gammakid999
yes
What do did you do with your life before you joined Uncyclopedia? — Soviet
fuck if i remember
What will you do with your life now that you've joined uncyclopedia? — Gammakid999
fuck if i know
From The Logs
02:35, 20 February 2026 Alula changed group membership for DaniPine3 from abuse filter helper, autopatroller, extended confirmed user, rollbacker and administrator to abuse filter helper, autopatroller, extended confirmed user, rollbacker, administrator and flood (the dutch will not be happy about this)
01:51, 21 February 2026 Alula changed group membership for DaniPine3 from abuse filter helper, autopatroller, extended confirmed user, flood, rollbacker and administrator to abuse filter helper, autopatroller, extended confirmed user, rollbacker and administrator (dani why did you ask for flood when you very clearly weren't gonna use it for something spammy)
22:30, 1 March 2026 Alula blocked Fish on skates with an expiration time of 14 hours, 18 minutes and 31 seconds (account creation disabled) (the cabal (LPTEW) wishes it)
22:31, 1 March 2026 Alula blocked Soviet with an expiration time of 32 minutes and 2 seconds (account creation disabled) (the cabal (LPTEW) wishes it)
00:19, 2 March 2026 Alula unblocked Fish on skates (right, this block is 14 hours long...)
March 18th, 2026 • Issue #246 • It's a bird, it's a plane, IT'S SUPERM- oh. It's just the UnSignpost. Go home, everybody.Current issue • Archives • Press Room
BREAKING NEWS! A new project is sweeping the realmstate closet we broadcast out of! That's right, The UnHistory book is a thing! Right now we're still in the "pinging every single old person we can think of" stage (see biopic below), but it's gonna be pretty cool. At least, that's what I think. After all, as Shakespeare once said, "Quoting people is fun!"
It has been... a while... but the goofiness has hit the towers of Uncyclopedia and like three other social media sites. Double-whammy as it was created September 11th. This is DEFINITELY not Gerg assploding after six months of soft labour! Will it BREAK YOUR RAISIN-SIZED BRAIN? Fuck, you didn't even HAVE a brain before you wanna play this shitty mod!
Honestly I'm not even gonna DARE add any more context. For those anti-youngings (oldlings) reading this, interacting with the Priest Goofball mod is as dangerous as having an erection in Chernobyl.
MK is making some cool new sigs! Ones that jump, ones that spin, ones that hit you with a car, ones that gamble, and ones that do other shit! Some have sound, even! In addition to this, MK has been making other cool CSS creations, and even made my sig!
Biopic
Codeine, your anti-drug, is still around apparently. You never know who might be lurking in the shadows. You never know who's gonna poke out of the shadows and then go right back in again because the shadows are decidedly comfy, or come back from a monthly month-long hiatus for a soda and some minor edits, or explore the old corridors and see if they still smell like they used to.
Have you ever had a dream that, that you, um, you had, your, you— you could, you'll do, you— you wants, you, you could do so, you— you'll do, you could- you, you want, you want them to do you so much you could do anything? — AtomicAnon
yuppers
From The Logs
01:08, 10 March 2026 DaniPine3 blocked Turb0-Sunrise with an expiration time of 1 minute and 40 seconds (account creation disabled, autoblock disabled) (for edit conflicting me in Forum:Last person to edit wins >:[)
00:16, 16 March 2026 Alula blocked DaniPine3 with an expiration time of 00:44, 20 June 3023 (account creation disabled) (The cabal wishes it)
00:20, 16 March 2026 DaniPine3 blocked Alula with an expiration time of 2 weeks (account creation disabled, autoblock disabled) (two can play this game... >:])
00:23, 16 March 2026 Alula unblocked Alula (this is uncyclopedia. there are no games to be played here. except the priest goofball mod)
00:29, 16 March 2026 DaniPine3 unblocked DaniPine3 (goofball mod tomorrow)
The former UnSignpost everythinger and Bostonian propaganda spreader Turb0-Sunrise was banned after evidence that he used sockpuppets. There are too many to list here, but the accounts were usually named after hockey coaches.
That's right, the former admin and very old user Zombiebaron came back after a nearly 3-year-long hiatus. Gammakid999 immediately spammed his talk page with what appears to be lengthy messages of gibberish. He was then banned for one month and 2/3rds of a second due to spamming on Zombiebaron's talk page. Very sad.
We're happy to get the Baron back, but I have just one warning to tell you: If you see him on a FurAffinity page... be on alert... maybe run depending on your opinions.
Gergdown was caught trying to do EVIL, like creating bad articles to clog up qvfd, and breaking into Willy on wheels's home! That's right, something so EVIL, it was in real life! In addition to these horrible crimes, Gerg was convicted of being from Edmonton.
Useless Comment. preeetty sure it's also spelt donut too.. 
