Soviet Socialist Confederate States of America

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Socialist Soviet Confederate States of America
Flag of the S.S.C.S.A. 215
S.S.C.S.A Emblem
Motto: "No More Questions, Y'all!"
National Anthem: (Too dumb to decide on one) "I wish I was in Dixie's Soviet" "Bonnie Red flag" "Stalin save the South"
Redneck USA.jpg
Official language Nadsat
Race White Working class
Capital Richmondgrad, Virginia
Government Soviet Socialist Confederate Republic
President Pete Seeger
National Hero Robert E. Lenin
Currency Confederate Rubble
Religion Christian Communism

“Well, it called the Red States for a reason.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Socialist Soviet Confederate States of America

“I hates gays and loves guns too, and I'm from the southern part of the map!”

~ Fidel Castro on his ideological similarities with Socialist Soviet Confederate States of America

“I need to poop, can we hurry this up?”

~ God on the inbred radical idiocracy He created

“I won 90% of the vote and the guys had nice butts. I bought three condos there.”

~ Barack Obama on the S.S.C.S.A.

The Socialist Soviet Confederate States of America (S.S.C.S.A) is a utopian Socialist society run entirely by Rednecks. Commonly referred to as the Red States or the Soviet South, the S.S.C.S.A was founded in the "Harvest Time Revolution" (Rednecks being unaware of mouths) by a group of hardcore Civil War reenactors who discovered a crate of vodka and AK-47s outside their favourite bar with a copy of the complete works of Mao and the Redneck manifesto, this was later discovered to be a subtle communist plan to subvert Southerners, unlike all other communist subversion plans, it actuly worked. By some date or other (some time around cow mating season) the Redneck Army of Farmers and more Farmers (Redneck army for short) had liberated nearly the entire south from the grips of the Yankee Suburban Liberal White Middle Class Army lead by Robert E. Lenin and Jefferson Trotsky. The ruling party of the S.S.C.S.A is the All-Redneck Rebel Communist Party.

Military[edit | edit source]

A conscript in the Redneck Army with attached meat sack

Apart from farming and tending bars, the military is the only recognised profession is the Soviet South (woe to those who admit to working in a unrecognised profession, sissies). The Redneck Army is world famous for it's amazing range of weaponry and complete lack of any kind of training. Operating on the principle of "Shooting 'em till deahd" the Redneck Army fires at the enemy till they win. Not failed yet. As Comrade Robert E. Lenin said famously in his breathtaking Marxist work:

“ "I shoot the yella' belly yankee in the head and I won."”

~ Robert E. Lenin on materialist contradictions within Party strategy, a Marxist thesis


Wisdom. Pure an' simple.

Robert E. Lenin, one of the first leaders of the Soviet South

Most members of the redneck army are conscript, torn away from their mothers bosoms at the tender age of 35. They are herded into crowded barracks in which they spend five years of hardcore civil war reenacting, drinking, singing Dixie and robustly not training. In battle, they generally wonder round in the woods trying to find Gettysburg. If the Soviet South relied entirely upon these useless yellabellies it would soon lose every war (and drinking contest) it entered. However, the All-Redneck Rebel Communist Party supplies the army with a steady supply of hardcore volunteers from Redneck Communism's most hardened followers. They spend ten years of their lives, starting from the youthful age of 15, in inner party schools in which they engage in pouring over maps of Civil war battles, coming up with new ways to prove that the civil war was not thought over slavery even though it was, listening to Pete Seeger, having sex in the inner party haystack, drinking wine and not training. The result is terrifying. Armed with superior helmets and oversized guns, they crush all foes of the rebel cause with vigour and zeal. Yankee Imperialists beware!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ideology[edit | edit source]

The Ideological, spiritual, political and alcoholic leader of the Soviet South is Robert E. Lenin. Who set out the ideas of redneck communism in his great masterpiece "White Working Class and proud!".

Space program[edit | edit source]

Redneck spaceshuttle.jpg

They're working on it. Them Soviet dudes didn't seem too enthusiastic about "Beefnick 1's" prospects.