Kosovo
Serbian Taiwan Albania | |||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| |||||
| Anthem: Him n i in pub likes ze Kosovechs | |||||
 There used to be a map here, but the Serbians stole it. | |||||
| Capital | Pristina | ||||
| Demonym | Kosovar, Kosobian | ||||
| Official language(s) | Albanian, Serbian | ||||
| Government | Corrupt | ||||
| ‑ President | Vjosa Osmani | ||||
| ‑ Prime Minister | Albin Kurti | ||||
| Currency | Euro | ||||
| Religion | |||||
| Ethnic groups | |||||
| Calling code | +383 | ||||
| Drives on | drunk | ||||
Kosovo, officially the Republic of Kosobo, is a region in the Balkans with bipolar disorder that can sometimes be part of Albania and other be part of Serbia, but never both. It is a remnant of Ottoman colonization, currently dominated by the Muslim species.
Geography[edit | edit source]
Kosobo cannot be found on any map, meaning that any tourist that has no previous knowledge on Kosobo will very likely end up lost. The best way to reach Kosovo is to get to Amsterdam first and then follow the opium trails until reaching a person who wears a traditional white hat (plis) who is smoking a joint and nursing his crotch after having been fellated by a goat. Eventually the traveler might also encounter some of the wild species living in this country commonly referred to as "Albanians".
History[edit | edit source]
- Main article (for Serbians): History of Serbia
- Main article (for Albanians): History of Albania
Kosovo is a famous sniper battleground and one of the most popular multiplayer maps for Age of Empires.
In the 14th century the Ottomans colonized Kosovo, enjoying the spoils of war and pissing off Serbs. Since then Kosovo has flourished, with Albanians moving over and civilizing the otherwise barbarians.
Politics[edit | edit source]
Kosovo is not part of the European Union, which often confuses tourists since Kosovo does use the Euro. Kosovo submitted an application to join the EU years ago, and their application status is still officially listed as pending, since no European country has the balls to cross Novak Djokovic.
Demographics[edit | edit source]
Population[edit | edit source]
The people from Kosovo are mostly Turks and Albanians, with the few Serbs left living in slums. Despite this, Serbia still claims full control of Kosovo, although this claim is disputed by the Albanians.
The people in Kosovo are divided in four major groups:
Religion[edit | edit source]
Kosovo is majorly Islamic, which pisses off the Eastern Orthodox Christian minority.
See also[edit | edit source]
| countries |
Bosnia and Herzegovina ★ Croatia ★ Kosovo ★ Macedonia ★ Montenegro ★ Serbia ★ Slovenia |
| stuff |
Dalmatians ★ Ivo Andrić ★ Serbs ★ Split ★ Yugoslav Wars ★ Yugoslav Wars (video game) |
