Joint

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A Typical Jamaican smoker.

Smoking a Joint, spliff, dooby, hoagie, blunt, reefer, or biffter is usually a very good idea.

In the old days the Indians (both sorts) smoked their ganja using 'peace' pipes which were shared between friends, and at important occasions when everyone wanted to get off their tits. Unfortunately today with the invention of paper, and the things which can be done with it the world has now changed. All the Indians have now been shot, and the smokers who are left are moving away from the more peaceful pipes towards what we know to be the modern paper rolled joint.

How to make a joint[edit]

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Ever since Shakespeare's Othello featured a black man on crack, many European artisans have developed the art of making a joint. The steps involved are:

  1. Take a piece of rolling paper, put it between your fingers, and fill it with lots of marijuana.
  2. Put a rolled piece of cardboard on the end of the paper.
  3. Roll the paper (be careful not drop any drugs on the floor).
  4. Smoke
  5. Repeat

Perfect joints[edit]

Perfectly rolled joints are nearly impossible to obtain for the amateur as rolling technique skill is usually directly proportional to the level and number of years of addiction of the smoker. A rule which does not apply for Rastafarians who are able to roll perfectly at birth. People who have been smoking for many years may be able to roll several joints at the same time whilst performing other tasks such as reading, walking, driving or talking to a police officer. If you manage to find a really classy joint, keep it to yourself, and whatever you do don't smoke it! Well, maybe smoke it.

Safety precautions when smoking[edit]

Virtually none whatsoever. Despite the recent (and very welcome) improvement in modern marijuana provided by the American military, smoking joints remains completely safe, and overdose is impossible. Knowing in advance that one day man would pick the marijuana plant and put it in his pipe and smoke it, nature programmed him that whenever he was getting too stoned he would automatically feel the need to lie down somewhere for a while, or at least stop smoking for a bit. This combined with the increased difficulty of rolling another joint when you get progressively more stoned ensures that smoking marijuana is almost completely safe with the exception of Ankylophobia.

Ankylophobia[edit]

Some experienced smokers may become a victim of Ankylophobia or Joint Phobia.

Typical symptoms include:

  • The fear of the immobility of a joint - This rather a vague and catch all term is used by the sufferer regarding the apparent "immobility" of the joint. Typically the sufferer is unsure of what this might mean, but suspects that something bad might happen to his joint sometime soon.
  • The fear of joint becoming unusable - An extreme form of Ankylophobia which is the worst case scenario for its victims. Sufferers are convinced that sometime in the near future it may no longer be possible to smoke their joint ever again. The patient can sometimes believe that their joint will become lost beyond reasonable memory, that it could smoked by someone else, and worst of all possibly smoked by the sufferer themselves without them remembering it.
  • The fear of a joint becoming disabled - Less severe than when unusable, the sufferer may become concerned that his joint could be dropped in the toilet, consumed by an dog or otherwise rendered temporarily unusable for smoking purposes.

As has been shown, smoking Joints is virtually completely risk free, with the only possible exceptions being the schizophrenia, and lung cancer.

Other Drugs to Try[edit]


See also[edit]

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