Barbenheimer
Barbenheimer | |
|---|---|
 | |
| Directed by | Greta Gerwig Christopher Nolan |
| Produced by | Margot Robbie Margot Robbie's husband Charles Roven |
| Written by | Greta Gerwig Noah Baumbach Christopher Nolan Kai Bird Martin Sherwin |
| Starring | Margot Robbie Cillian Murphy |
| Music by | Various artists, all of which starred in the film |
| Cinematography | Hoyte van Hoytema |
| Edited by | Jennifer Lame |
Production company | Warner Bros. Universal Pictures |
| Distributed by | Warner Bros. |
Release date | July 21, 2023 |
Running time | The original Barbie and Oppenheimer's film runtimes added together. AKA your entire afternoon |
| Country | All countries that had participated in World War II, plus Barbieland |
| Language | English |
| Budget | A small loan of a million dollars |
| Box office | At least several million dollars. Plus enough to pay David Zaslav's rent this month. |
Barbenheimer is a 2023 fantasy comedy-biographical thriller film written and directed by Greta Gerwig and Christopher Nolan. It stars Margot Robbie as Barbie and Cillian Murphy as J. Robert Oppenheimer. The film is about Barbie, played by Robbie, who begins having an existential crisis and must fight in the Second World War in order to find out what her true purpose was, and in order to do that, she time travels back to the 1940s. The movie was released on July 21, 2023, and was critically acclaimed. It was highly anticipated, and many have considered this the best film ever released in 2023. It ended up being extremely successful at the box office.
There's a soundtrack to the album, and every artist that had contributed a song to the soundtrack would end up starring in the movie. However, most of them were cameos. Strangely enough, all of them were mostly pop songs.
Plot
As Ice Spice and Nicki Minaj's song "Barbie World" starts playing, we're introduced to the location of Barbieland. Both artists make a cameo after all the actors and actresses have been introduced. We then see Barbie, who appears the most popular person of all of Barbieland. She has other multiple personalities as well such as President Barbie (played by Issa Rae, a hot babe you don't have a chance with) and Mermaid Barbie (played by Dua Lipa, who is another extremely hot babe you seriously do not have a chance with). After getting an existential crisis due to the various personalities that she has while having a romantic evening with Ken (played by Ryan Gosling), who also has Dissociative Identity Disorder because he has a lot of personalities that he can switch into.
Barbie then goes to a time machine store and meets the owner, who asks for over $1 billion in order to time travel. Barbie decides to pay the owner, and so the owner asks which time period Barbie would go to. Barbie then says "the 1940s, more specifically 1945". The owner accepts, and then Barbie time travels to 1945, when World War II was going on. She meets J. Robert Oppenheimer, who asks her if she wants to join the Manhattan Project. She accepts, and so both of them decided to work together on the atomic bomb. Meanwhile, Ken tries to find Barbie, but she was already in 1945. Unfortunately, because Ken does not have one billion dollars, he is unable to time travel.
Barbie and Oppenheimer work on the atomic bomb. Due to Barbie's experience as a scientist, she decides to change into her scientist persona. Both of them succeed in doing so, and on July 16, 1945, the Trinity test succeeded. In the present, Ken asks the owner of the time travel store where Barbie is, and the owner says that Barbie is in 1945 working on the Manhattan Project, which shocks Ken. He decides to change into his scientist persona too. Back to 1945, when Barbie and the others celebrate the successful Trinity test, another artist that had recorded a song for the Barbenheimer Album, the aforementioned Dua Lipa, somehow managed to time travel to 1945 because she also played one of Barbie's alter egos. She then appears in the film and sings "Dance The Night" as the entertainer for the party. Also, she is fully aware that she had played one of Barbie's personas, and starts having an existential crisis as well during the performance. Meanwhile, Oppenheimer meets the love of his life there.
In the present, Ken builds a time machine after days of research and ends up in 1935, during the Great Depression. This infuriates Ken, as he tried to find Barbie's location. 12 years later, Oppenheimer had retired from his war activities, and Barbie hasn't seen Ken in several years. In August 1947, the US was going to drop a bomb on Hiroshima, and as soon as they're going to drop it, the war would be over. Meanwhile, Ken decides to time travel to 1947, since that was the year that WWII had ended. Ken and Barbie reunite in Hiroshima, just in time for the dropping of the bomb. In the present, Barbie gets a statue of herself for her contributions to the Manhattan Project in Barbieland. All of Barbie and Ken's personas separate from each other to celebrate the occasion, and so they live happily ever after. Except there won't be a sequel anyways.[1]
Cast
- Margot Robbie as Barbie
- Cillian Murphy as J. Robert Oppenheimer
- Ryan Gosling as Ken
- America Ferrera as that woman who owns the time machine store in Barbieland
- Emily Blunt as Kitty Oppenheimer
- Matt Damon as General Leslie Groves
- Robert Downey Jr. as Lewis Strauss
- All artists that had contributed a song in the Barbenheimer Album as themselves
Production
When Barbenheimer was announced, the producers decided to combine two upcoming films into one. Filming was completed before 2022 ended. Then the producers decided which artists would be perfect for the album. and then did 17 songs for the soundtrack. All artists ended up getting a role as themselves in the final product, even though the Writer's and Actor's strikes were happening during the promotion of the film.
Reception
The movie was critically acclaimed by literally everyone. It holds a 95% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics have praised all of the cast's performances and wanted a sequel.
And oh, they got it. And a lot more. In light of Barbenheimer's massive success and the complete and utter failure of The Flash and superhero movies in general as of late, Warner Bros. had a yet another kneejerk reaction and cancelled James Gunn's upcoming reboot of the DC Extended Universe, instead retooling it as a new franchise complete with 10 years of adult-themed Barbie films including direct sequels Ken-ception and Barbie-stellar and the spinoff 50 Shades of Barb, Barbie and Oppenheimer sex dolls,[2] and theme park rides with live atomic bombs. Now the studio just has to find actors and filmmakers who aren't on strike and has to pony up some money to.. wait..
So... yeah, no sequel. Psyche![3][4]
See also
Notes
- ↑ Christopher Nolan states that the original Barbie and Ken are "clinically" dead in our dimension... but are they really, or simply in another dimension? And are they together, broken up now, or... you get the point. All up to the viewer's interpretation. But seriously, if you have enough time to think about this then you need to go find a hobby and probably girlfriend or boyfriend.
- ↑ Ken can go fuck himself... well, they did plan to make one for him to be a cuck
- ↑ You really expected anything different from the studio that canned Henry Cavill after making him announce his return as Superman and straight up said "Nope" to making sequels to the Snyder Cut? WB just blamed everything on the strike.
- ↑ Oh, and the DCU and any new films from WB are all still cancelled anyways because the studio is still broke as fuck. No more new movies for you!
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