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Perfect Square

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“Suck it, 3.14!”

~ The perfect square on π
Flawless. Jazzy. Glamorous.

A square, yes, a plain old boring square could be SO MUCH MORE than just the average everyday polygon. The circle is unique, having association with π, circumference, diameter, radius, and the ability to measure 360° on a bicycle super-turn. The influence of the almighty circle has even made its way into popular video games, such as the first-person shooter game Call of Duty. The circle has inspired the famous signature move, the 360° no-scope.

Triangles are cool too, having three sides and all. Being the visual faces on EACH and EVERY ONE of the Egyptian pyramids. This TOTALLY beats out the square. Do YOU see squares making geographic fashion statements throughout Egypt? NO! Squares coexisted alongside the other much more hip and widely accepted shapes for years, and even centuries with absolutely no respect for them, whatsoever. Squares were a mockery. (Hence the insult for squares.) It was hopeless – squares would NEVER be cool.

Then everything changed when the mathematics nation attacked.

A new breed of geometrical shape was formulated, the square. This new square was indeed, cool. Cooler than all other shapes within the geometric world of all shapes and sizes. What is this heathen of a shape thinking? How could this happen? What a joke! A square being cool and the new pattern of design? Well here's your answer in spades. This square was no ordinary square ... this square went without flaw. The beauty, the angle ...

Don't get me STARTED on the angle. You wouldn't have seen the angle until you actually took a gaze into the sensation. The way all sides were exactly 90° in each corner... just the right degree of perfection. It was near to literally impossible to even begin to imagine or possibly even start to comprehend such a magnificent sight. You couldn't even guess how much of a beautiful sight this degree of perfection was. OOH! The glamour!

The question was, where was this unblemished square's root? For all we know, only the great Geometry gods have this knowledge on this perfect creation in geometry.

It was a disaster for the other shapes. Even all the other shapes, such as the great parallel lines of the universe even awed upon sight of this spectacular perfection in shape and form. The CIRCLE even ended up going through this catastrophic uproar, with the loss of last 360° admirers. It was even so god-like that even the nerd who was so far into counting all the digits of π stopped counting to get a glimpse at this angel. The beauty within the square was one that even converted Christians into worshiping the geometric gods.

Finally, squares had a positive reputation. No longer was a square for squares. Not with the new, the beauty, the incomparable, the almighty, the cool, and the flawless perfect square.

See also

  • God (capital G)
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