Candy Cane

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Candycane.gif Somebody has given you a candy cane!
{{{2}}}



A candy cane (Or Zuckmydickstrangers in German) is a peppermint flavored cane/dick shaped weapon that can be used like a knife and a sniper rifle at the same time, candy canes have a high technology that can be only activated by sucking it

Origin[edit | edit source]

Adolf Hitler, the creator of the candy cane.

Candy Canes were created in Germany by Adolf Hitler because he was tired of being hungry meanwhile he was killing jews so he decided to create one of the most sweet and powerful Weapon of Mass Destruction in the universe it started just like a white stick/knife but then his brothers Mr. Mint and St. Nicholas helped him making the weapon more powerful now can be used as a gun and can have more flavors and not just peppermint, it also contains drugs making some people see fictional characters like Santa Claus or Krist Novoselic after eating a candy cane

The Candy itself[edit | edit source]

Is a Christian half weapon half candy created by Germans from the North Pole, and it can be used as a sniper rifle with a powerful lazer by sucking on it, and if you suck it even harder your candy cane will turn into a festive knife. Candy canes can be used in many different ways, like decorations, gifts, bakery, porn, building a time machine, performing simple division, granting immortality, and killing your enemies, etc.

Some candy canes have other colours but the most common candy canes are the red and white or red white + green

  • Red: The red part is the fruity one and the most notable of flavors. The ingredients are socialism, hearts, and blood..
  • White: Is the colour that nobody cares about. The ingredients are cocaine, meth, and cum.
  • Green: This is the guy at the party no one invited. The green was just included because it makes reindeer fly. The ingredients are weed, reptilians, more marihuana.
  • J/Cane shape: the shape of the candy resembles your grandpa's cane, and also J (as in Jew or Jesus).

Flavors[edit | edit source]

Hot dog flavored Candy canes now with double dose of cock jokes.
  • Peppermint
  • Weed
  • Fruit
  • Turkey
  • Gravy
  • Ketchup
  • Mushrooms
  • Clams
  • Bamboo
  • Blue Waffles
  • Lemon Party
  • LSD
  • Reindeer's dicks
  • Pussy
  • Mac & Cheese
  • Mac & Mac
  • Cheese & Cheese
  • Human flesh
  • Whatever you want

Types[edit | edit source]

Candy stripe everything!
  • Fun sized Candy cane
  • Candy Dildos
  • Candy Wheelchair
  • Candy Rascal
  • Candy Walker
  • Candy Swastika
  • Candy Kanye
  • Canz Candynand
  • Harry Kane
  • Kane
  • Candy Minigun
  • Candy Gay
  • Cane Candy
  • Giant Candy Cane
  • Jumbo Candy Cane
  • Mega destructive Candy Cane
  • Zuckerstange
  • The auto suck Candy Cane

The Candy Cane Lane[edit | edit source]

The Candy Cane Lane (AKA. TCCL) is a secret Neonazi artic sect located in some part of the Candy Cane forest near the Candy Cane Village at the North Pole with a secret passage to Bavaria. It is the home of the New Candy Order, which was created by Nazis, penguins and people from the Candy Land. They are currently at war with the Gingerbread Men. The people from TCCL only believe in the Candy Cane God (AKA The peppermint Lord) another experiment made by Adolf Hitler and Mr. Mint.

Candycane god.png
The Candy Cane God

TCCL Anthem[edit | edit source]

Better known as Candy Cane Lane, the anthem is a beautiful & catchy Christmas carol that doubles as an annoying method of torture.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05HAL5sSWho

Gallery[edit | edit source]

See Also[edit | edit source]


--- Candy Land ---
CandyHariboM&M'sMentosPeepsPop-TartsSkittlesSmartiesSweeTartsTootsie RollsTwinkiesWerthers
ABC GumBubble GumCandy CaneCandy CornCotton CandyGummi bearMarshmallowsMintsNougatPez
BiscuitsCakesCerealCookiesChocolateGingerbread MenIce cream
Airplane peanutsAnimal crackerChipsCheetosFriesFunyunsPopcornPotato ChipsPringlesRitz BitsTater Tots
How to Get Your Candy Back * French Fries Burning in the Oven * Potato Chip Situation * Strangers' Candy
Jelly---Gummi-Bear---Red---Detailed---(Gentry).jpg
Jelly---Gummi-Bear---Red---Detailed---(Gentry).jpg