J2O

A J2O Molecule, white representing juice and red, oxygen.

“If it wasn't for J2O, I would be eating Pringles right now.”

~ Julius Pringles on J2O

Summary

"Dijuice oxide" is a chemical compiled from the elements juice and oxygen in the ratio of two juice atoms to one oxygen atom. It is a compound present in the American water supply, due to many complaints of "tasteless water". The production exceeds 100,000 gallons a day with the main consumer, Julius Pringles who drinks up to an excess of 15 gallons a day (see the main article for more details).

Controversy

The J2O on many occasions has been mistaken for an alcoholic drink and has caused many arrests, pub fights, and murders. The government filed for a change in bottle shape due to the Prime Minister of Britain thinking it was an alcoholic beverage and acting drunk after one bottle. It caused him to kiss the Chancellor of the Exchequer. There have also been many incidents and fights because of it at The Pilgrims Progress Pub.

Use as a drug

J2O, due to its incredibly addictive juice molecules is an alternative to Pringles and heroine, and is used as a way to help addicts get off harmful substances, although you get entirely dependent on it there are no negative side effects. People known to be addicted to J2O include Tony Blair, David Beckham, Julius Pringles, Fabiano, and every single American as the water has been "gifted" with thousands of gallons of it.

A tasty non alcoholic bottle of J2O.

Effects

The effects of J2O are not incredibly noticeable although drowsiness is a slight side effect. Binge eating disorder is common as well. The withdrawal symptoms, however, are incredibly serious and medical attention is recommended before attempting to go clean, some effects include major schizophrenia, constant vomiting, and cardiac arrest.

Flavors

• Apple Crumble & Custard
• Apple & Mango
• Apple & Raspberry
• Apple & Melon
• Apple & Apple
• Not Apple
• BBQ Sauce
• 5 Year Old Australian
• Bottle
• Cocaine
• Mystery flavor (apple)
• Heinz Tomato Ketchup
• Bald Eagle
• Orange & Cranberry
• Orange & Dispassionate Fruit
• Tissue Paper
• RuneScape
• Water
• Tastes Like Apples, Made From Apples, But Not Apples
• Definitely NOT apples
• Wheat Juice & Cat Piss

See Also

• Coke Zero
• Wine
• Drink

Are You Going to Drink That?

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