LOL WUT
Oh gee, don't even get me started. Well, where do I begin? My life hasn't always been easy, to say the least…
I was born to a bunch of bananas. Isn't that cray cray? Effin bananas!?! It's true! I would never lie to you. I can't — I'm just a talking pear, man.
Anyways, I guess the fams was heir to some Dole fortune? I'm not sure how I'm related to Bob Dole exactly, but apparently he left me a boatload of money and now I don't really have to work anymore.
Back then we used to sing a capella on the tree in front of the barber shop down on 29th street. Until that one day, when the nice man rescued us and gave us our freedom. I'm not sure what happened to my brother and sister though, we don't really talk anymore. Actually, I talk all the time, just not to them — you know what I mean? That's normal though, right? Doesn't that kind of thing happen a lot between siblings? LOL, it's just a phase they're going through, I know it!
Back when I had to work, I was a pretty successful model. I used to pose in all kinds of different costumes for motivational posters. I dunno, I didn't really care as long as it was paying the bills!
Check out some of my pics![edit | edit source]
 My original headshot
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 The French costume
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 The Mexican costume
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 The Jewish costume
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 The Korean costume
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 The Russian costume
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 The Japanese costume
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 The Australian costume
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 The Chinese costume
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 My Little Pony costume
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 For GQ Magazine
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 Me for Halloween
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 Me before puberty
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 Me, smokin' hot
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 Me as Tseric
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 Me as Jesus
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 Me as an alien
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 Me as Gene Simmons
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 Me as Steve Ballmer
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 Me as a Russian Reversal
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 Me as a Nascar fan
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 Me as a black guy
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 Me as a smartass
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 Me as Doc Brown
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 Me as Buzz Lightyear
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 Me as Sonic
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 Me as Mr. Peanut
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 Me as a Mr. Potato Head
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 Me as an apple
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 Me as a strawberry
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 Me as a wutermelon
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 Me being annoying
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 Me as a lightbulb
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 Me as a Hippy
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 Me as a Pokemon
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 Me as...Chuck Norris?
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 Hulk smash Cell-Tech!
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 Me in Pulp Fiction
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 My campaign poster
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My Tarot Cards:[edit | edit source]
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Life is good, man – I can't complain too much. You can usually find me partying with my friends…
We made some action figures of ourselves, check 'em out!
There's not really much else to say, I'm living the dream…
| Stimulants |
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Banana | Cherry | Cranberry | Dole Apples | Fig | Grape | Kiwi | Lemon | Mango | Orange | Orange Soda | Pineapple | Tomato |
| Depressants |
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Coconut | Cucumber | Date | Grape Drink | Lime | Limón | Olive | Orange Juice | Pear | Tomato | Valencia Grapes |
| Psychedelics |
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Anti-Orange | Apple Juice | Avocado | Durian | Grapefruit | Guava | Peach | Raspberry | Strawberry | Watermelon |
| Commonly Mistaken for Fruit |
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Agent Orange | Apple | Anthony Fantano | Clementine Attlee | Don Cherry | Cocomelon | Fruits Basket | Lychee | No Cucumbers | Orange Sherbet | Orangology | Order of the Communist Pear | Peaches Geldof | Piña Coladatown | "Pineapples of Wrath"? | Pineapple Titties | Sir Humphrey Watermelon | Strawberry Fields | Talking Pear | The Annoying Orange |