Uncyclopedia:Best of/2007 (by date)

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On this page are articles that were featured on the front page during the golden years of Uncyclopedia (meaning any year other than this year) [golden meaning its not like this year] {meaning the articles aren't as good as this year}. Do read them to see how much better the 2011 articles are.

You may also wish to see the voting page for said better articles of this year.

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January 2007[edit]

Date Name
January 1st Ironing
January 2nd Cow Udders Caught in Barbed Wire
January 3rd HowTo:Convince People You're a Heterosexual Male
January 4th Third Epistle to the Thessalonians
January 6th Alexander the Great
January 8th My Journeys with the GPS
January 9th UnBooks:The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Drifters
January 11th The Wicker Man
January 12th Victorian Era
January 13th Limitations of Superpowers as Applies to God
January 14th Onomatopoeia
January 15th Me
January 26th AAA
January 27th Little Orphan Annie
January 28th Witless Protection Program
January 29th HowTo:Hold a Handbag Like a Man
January 30th Really Big Tree
January 31st Blackbeard Catering Company

February 2007[edit]

Date Name
February 1st HowTo:Run away from home
February 2nd UnBooks:Uncyclopedia for Dummies
February 3rd Vietnam War Hoax
February 5th George W. Bush
February 6th Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit
February 7th Shortcut
February 8th Intelligent Design
February 9th HowTo:Make Cheesy Sci-Fi
February 11th List of one letter words starting with A
February 12th Jihad My Ride
February 13th You Are Dead
February 15th League of Nations
February 16th Erraticus
February 17th Google Middle Earth
February 18th Civil War
February 19th Nuremberg Rally
February 20th HowTo:Start a Religion
February 21st HowTo:Stop Playing the Accordion
February 22nd UnNews:Al-Qaeda operative spills the beans
February 23rd HowTo:Live in an RPG
February 24th UnBooks:The Adventures of Baron Ringpiece
February 25th Protect and Survive
February 26th HowTo:Deliver a Baby, A Concise and Easy-to-follow Guide Developed, Tested, and Approved by the AMA
February 27th Honesty
February 28th Education

March 2007[edit]

Date Name
March 1st UnBooks:Practical Lessons on Communism
March 2nd Future ☭f tomorrow, today!
March 3rd The Porchesian Holocaust
March 4th Movie Trailer Announcer Guy
March 5th Moses
March 6th HowTo:Cook While Drunk
March 7th UnCameron
March 8th UnNews:Hylian teen arrested for property damage
March 9th UnNews:Boy subjected to harsh criticism, cries like little girl
March 10th HowTo:Cut Your Own Head Off With a Chainsaw
March 11th Mao Zedong
March 12th UnNews:Overly political spider becoming annoying
March 13th Is a 1982 Mitsubishi Colt better than a Bugatti Veyron?
March 14th Dyslexia
March 15th UnBooks:Choose Your Own Adventure
March 16th Good cop/Bad cop
March 17th Alcoholics Anonymous
March 18th 1846 Uncyclopedia Convention at Aurora, New York
March 19th The Aeneid: A Research Paper About the Aeneid
March 20th Tachyon
March 21st UnBooks:Dracula
March 22nd The Beatles: Ecological Number Ones
March 23rd Baby Seal
March 24th Grue's Clues
March 25th HowTo:Construct a Federation Starship
March 26th One Out of Ten Doctors
March 27th Newspeak
March 28th African giraffe
March 29th What I Did On My Summer Vacation
March 30th HowTo:Write A Thesis Statement
March 31st Adolf Hitler

April 2007[edit]

Date Name
April 2nd The Consumerist
April 3rd Ye Olde Webbe Desyne Shoppe
April 4th UnNews:Barbie robs bank, further pads résumé
April 5th Walgreens Drug Store
April 6th Martina Hingis
April 7th Merde, She Wrote
April 9th Uluru
April 10th Women
April 11th Why?:Am I in Canada?
April 12th HowTo:Be At One With The Universe
April 13th Charles Dickens
April 14th Strongly worded letter
April 15th UnNews:Local cancer loses battle with woman
April 16th Wallet moth
April 17th UnNews:Bush sautes Tuskegee Airmen
April 18th Slate industry in Wales
April 19th Waltzing Matilda
April 20th UnNews:Google, Inc. Employee: "My Job Blows"; Apple, Inc. Employee: "My Job Sucks"
April 21st UnNews:Scientists make a sheep-human hybrid, bestiality enthusiasts pleased
April 22nd Byzantine Empire
April 23rd Homeless nerds
April 24th The Life and Times of Kraft Dinner
April 25th Colonel
April 26th Artificial Pseudoscientology
April 27th Rock, Paper, Airstrike
April 28th Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
April 29th UnBooks:Panic on the Streets of Birmingham: Zombie Chaos and Civil Rights in the Sixties
April 30th HowTo:Bluff Your Way to Political Power

May 2007[edit]

Date Name
May 1st Everybody cares
May 2nd Stephen Hawking ran over my cat
May 3rd British class system
May 4th HowTo:Run Away From Fat Ladies
May 5th HowTo:Prevent your car radio from being stolen
May 6th John Caldwell Calhoun
May 7th The Black And White Man
May 8th Austria-Hungary
May 9th Idea
May 10th UnNews:Noob Gets PWNED
May 11th UnNews:New Borg drone complains about management
May 12th UnBooks:The Anarchist Cookbook
May 13th Escher
May 14th UnScripts:The UnUsual Suspects
May 15th Grand Theft Audio
May 16th Evolution of an Uncyclopedia editor
May 17th Ecky-Thump
May 18th Lord of the Flies
May 19th UnBooks:Diary of a Caveman
May 20th UnBooks:Gallows Humor
May 21st UnBooks:Now That You Are Almost a Woman
May 22nd UnNews:Vodka industry in turmoil following Yeltsin's death
May 23rd Blandford
May 24th UnNews:Small children may have unrealistic goals
May 26th Screenwriting
May 27th UnNews:People leaving the Matrix in droves after red pill mix-up
May 28th Fat Albert
May 29th Illegal aliens from outer space!
May 30th Folgers Crystals
May 31st Global Cooling

June 2007[edit]

Date Name
June 1st My Chemical Romance
June 2nd Letter to the Isle
June 3rd HowTo:Set Up a Party at the Last Minute
June 4th Dictation
June 5th Sperm
June 6th Anime
June 7th Saint Frankenstein's Day
June 9th UnNews:Geology classes in Alabama now mandating alternative "Paul Bunyan" theory
June 10th Ganges
June 11th Moustache-o-meter
June 12th Nazi
June 13th Mad TV
June 14th Socratic method
June 15th Mr. Kearsy
June 16th HowTo:Be a Jehovah's Witness
June 17th Kitchen sink
June 18th HowTo:Turn Your Computer On
June 19th Film noir
June 20th Obsessive-compulsive rhyming disorder
June 21st Old McDonald
June 22nd Why?:Pour Boiling Hot Water Down Your Trousers?
June 23rd UnNews:Christianity hoax exposed; bogus belief system baffles western civilization for 2,000 years
June 24th UnNews:Florida flooded by global warming, Sea World ironically left above water
June 25th The Lake District
June 26th Preflight procedures
June 27th UnScripts:The Meeting: A Play in One Act
June 28th ITrip
June 29th Is This Some Kind of Fucking Joke?!
June 30th United States presidential election, 1948

July 2007[edit]

Date Name
July 1st Hoboeroticism
July 2nd UnNews:Your grandma might be Al-Qaeda
July 3rd A Visit with your Psychopathic Grandmother
July 4th UnNews:Bashing your head against a brick wall discovered to have hallucinogenic effects
July 5th Bipolar bear
July 6th UnBooks:Mr. Beluncle
July 7th UnNews:Procrastinators Unite Today; Shirt Enthusiasts Enraged
July 8th UnNews:6-year-old boy receives $20,000 in government subsidies for insect torture research
July 9th UnBooks:Only Business
July 10th HowTo:Feng Shui Your Computer
July 11th Old hippie chick who's always collecting money
July 12th HowTo:Beat the Odds
July 13th Commercial
July 14th Vulva
July 15th Cup stacking
July 16th 667:Neighbor of The Beast
July 17th Bathroom humor
July 18th UnBooks:The World According to Garm
July 19th HowTo:Be a Gangsta
July 21st UnNews:Poor planning ruins Rapture
July 22nd Geocaching
July 23rd The Diary of Anne Frank
July 25th Oscar Wilde
July 26th But Seriously...
July 27th Thomas Edison
July 28th Why?:Put Down the Duckie?
July 29th Bow tie
July 30th UnNews:For Dummies author earns PhD
July 31st Pufflebump Snugglekins

August 2007[edit]

Date Name
August 1st Pair of Dice by the Dashboard Light
August 2nd UnNews:Homeland Security administration declares new "Gut Feeling" threat level
August 3rd UnBooks:Employee Manual
August 4th Cowboy Bebop
August 5th HowTo:Play Russian Roulette
August 6th Atomic Mass
August 7th Dead Nigger Storage
August 8th Raoul Duke
August 9th UnBooks:The Secret Origins of Cream; Supergroup
August 10th Heavy Classical
August 11th Long walks on the beach
August 12th HowTo:Bend a spoon
August 13th EXPLODE!!!
August 14th Easter Bunny
August 15th Game:Pick Up the Phone Booth and Aisle
August 16th UnNews:Stuffy intellectuals discover internet memes
August 17th UnNews:Rain falls on United Kingdom
August 18th UnNews:New thing called wheel make move mud less hard
August 19th UnNews:Defenseless Hummer viciously attacked by Eco-Nazis
August 20th HowTo:Check for Lumps
August 21st Russian reversal (phenomenon)
August 22nd UnScripts:Grass in the Mist
August 23rd Blue Screen of Death
August 24th UnNews:Monogamy in Utah upsets economy
August 25th Diplomacy
August 26th Why?:Collapse Space-Time
August 27th UnNews:Chancellor committed to preemptive war
August 28th Jewish Holidays
August 29th Ode to the Monotony of Life
August 30th UnBooks:The Castaway
August 31st UnScripts:The O'Finnertys

September 2007[edit]

Date Name
September 1st Teenage angst
September 2nd UnNews:Hitting children found to have positive effects on brain development
September 3rd Why?:Remove Your Penis
September 4th HowTo:Hotwire a Uterus
September 5th Holy Cheese
September 6th Social Commentary
September 7th UnNews:New writing technique good for some, bad for others
September 8th D
September 9th Maginot Line
September 10th Fire Hydrant 2: Rehydrated
September 11th Walls
September 12th UnScripts:Dora the Explorer: The Movie
September 13th UnBooks:Coming of Age Tale
September 14th Pillow fighting
September 15th HowTo:Deceive people on eBay
September 16th UnNews:Topeka, Kansas is proclaimed "Whaling Capital of the USA"
September 17th Volcano
September 18th Hodgepodge
September 19th DOHS Anti-Terrorism Regulations
September 20th Chuck Norris
September 22nd UnBooks:Tuesdays with Maury
September 23rd Carry On Films
September 24th Down with this sort of thing!
September 25th UnNews:Bro-on-bro taser violence reaches all-time high
September 26th Sergei Rachmaninoff
September 27th UnScripts:Feel Good Sports Movie
September 28th Why?:Nuke the whales
September 29th Innovations in Comedy
September 30th HowTo:Stop Being a Nerd

October 2007[edit]

Date Name
October 1st UnNews:The White House discovered to be off-white!
October 2nd UnMysteries:J'accuse
October 3rd Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A
October 4th HowTo:Throw a temper tantrum
October 5th UnNews:Studies show people who read are better at reading
October 6th UnNews:Al Qaeda goes green; all attacks to be "carbon neutral"
October 7th The Destiniad
October 8th Mental illness
October 9th UnBooks:Dane Cook: An Unauthorized Autobiography, 2nd Edition (New Pictures)
October 10th Godzilla vs. Urethra
October 11th Shopping list
October 12th UnNews:Iran to invade Iran
October 13th UnBooks:Instant Messaging Translation Guide for 19th Century English Gentlemen
October 14th UnNews:Anti-genocide group announces new plan to get American government to intervene in Darfur
October 15th UnNews:5th period Chemistry sub is a total bitch
October 16th Hanna Montana
October 17th Red light
October 18th UnNews:Bin Laden releases new video, America responds with indifference
October 19th HowTo:Be safe with guns
October 20th Buster Keaton
October 21st Right arrow
October 22nd Sweatshop
October 23rd UnNews:Doctors find cure for weight loss
October 24th Toaster
October 25th Short story
October 26th Time travel
October 27th 4'33"
October 28th Celebrity Manufacture
October 29th UnNews:Nelson Mandela dies at age 88
October 30th UnNews:Gandhi posthumously accused of mass genocide
October 31st Holocaust denial denial

November 2007[edit]

Date Name
November 2nd American (species)
November 3rd Books never written
November 4th Time Cubicle
November 5th Why?:Cancer is Great
November 6th Heat death of the universe
November 7th Classy
November 8th UnNews:Man discovers that he lacks a brain
November 10th Little boy who lives down the street
November 11th Rebecca Sealfon
November 12th UnBooks:Science Fair
November 13th UnNews:my son makes the play of the game
November 14th HowTo:Fuck Off
November 15th UnNews:Record percentage of children to dress up as mortgage foreclosure bankers this Halloween
November 16th Uncyclopedia Department of Tourism
November 17th Power Rangers
November 18th Society for the Intervention and Rehabilitation of Supervillains
November 19th Simeon I
November 20th UnBooks:IRAQATTACK
November 21st The Enigmatic Mr. Grumpikins
November 22nd UnNews:Local men secure enough in masculinity to fuck other men
November 24th How much can YOU take!!
November 25th Why?:Destroy the Rainforest
November 26th Top Hat
November 27th UnNews:Kids still fucking
November 28th Drunk Olympics
November 29th Constipation

December 2007[edit]

Date Name
1 December Jaws did WTC
2 December UnNews:Choice of which product to buy last vestige of freedom for most Americans
3 December UnTunes:Middle-Aged Suburban White Guy Rap
4 December Francis Winkler
5 December UnBooks:Honest Jim's Miracle Tonic
6 December The Color Problem
7 December Star Wars
8 December Why?:Hunt Unicorns
9 December Grandpa's Stories
10 December Harry Houdini
11 December Shrek
12 December UnBooks:The Hell's Chicken Showdown of 1993
13 December Normal
14 December Self-toasting bread
15 December UnCon
16 December The Poor
17 December UnNews:Liberal insurrection heroically crushed
18 December Alaska
19 December UnScripts:Emergency Room
20 December Donner
21 December United States presidential election, 1840
22 December United States presidential election, 1960
23 December Hypocrites
24 December Literary dedications
25 December UnNews:Massachusetts school's winter break renamed to please all religions
26 December Why?:Stick Things in the Electrical Outlet
27 December HowTo:Commit the Perfect Murder
28 December Why?:Give Up
29 December Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers
30 December Why?:Read a Book
31 December Manfred von Richthofen