Axis of Evil Hot Dog Eating Competition
The Axis of Evil Hot Dog Eating Competition is held each year in a secure bunker in a different member of the Axis' country. A source of pride among Axis members, all evil activities cease when the games are played.
History
The history of the Axis of Evil Hot Dog Eating Competition dates back to just before World War II. In 1939, Benito Mussolini sought a way to bring his allies closer together. To that end, he invited Adolf Hitler and Emperor Hirohito to Rome for a summit. Hitler brought with him a large number of frankfurters for the trip, as they were one of his favourite foods to eat on road trips. Mussolini jested, "I bet I can eat more of those than you!" Hitler accepted Mussolini's challenge. Not to be outdone, Hirohito joined the competition. It was then that, what was called at that time, the "Axis of Power Hot Dog Eating Competition" came into being.
Since that time, the name, and the members, of the Axis have changed, but the beauty of this contest remains intact.
Rules and Awards
The rules are simple: eat as many hot dogs as possible in 30 minutes without vomiting. The team who eats the most hot dogs wins the competition. Each member country is allowed a two-man team, with one alternate. A point is scored for each quarter of a hot dog a contestant eats, with four total points per hot dog. The scores of the team members are added together, and the team with the highest score is proclaimed the winner.
The winning country receives not only a golden trophy, but also the right to be the primary enemy of the United States of America for one year. The winner can waive this right to the runner up, which happened between 1999 and 2004, as Cobra has wanted to lay low. For the first time since 1998, CATS elected to exercise this right after winning the 2005 competition.
Recent Competitions
The most recent Axis of Evil Hot Dog Competition was won by CATS, who for the first time since 1998 was eligible to become the US's primary enemy for the year. This was a a stunning upset against long-time favorite, Uwe Boll, who failed to even place second this year. In a stunning decision, CATS has elected not to waive the right to be the US's primary enemy to the runner-up, Iraq.
Before CATS's victory, the previous six Axis of Evil Hot Dog Eating Competitions were won by the team of Megatron of the Decepticons, with Kim Jong-Il and Tommy Wiseau finishing second in 2004.
The next competition will be held in Dick Cheney's new home, after he was kicked out of his current house by new vice president Barney. Would it surprise you if Barney was found in a wood with bullets in him? Nope, I thought not.
Recent winners, (1999-2010):
2008 - Soviet Union 2007 - CATS, waived to Hot dog 2006 - North Korea 2005 - CATS 2004 - Decepticons, waived to North Korea 2003 - Decepticons, waived to Iraq 2002 - Uwe Boll and Ronald McDonald waived to Tommy Wiseau 2001 - Decepticons, waived to Afghanistan 2000 - Some guy you've never heard of, waived to France 1999 - Decepticons, waived to Somalia
| The Conclave of Doom: Benedict XVI - Fred Phelps - Ed Gein - Enron - Evil Jesus - The United States of Arabia - Iran - |
Space Committee: Darth Vader - Gul Dukat - L. Ron Hubbard - Emperor Palpatine - Killer Robot Janitor |
| Music/Theatre Committee: Abu Hamza - Hannah Montana - Ke$ha - The Jonas Brothers - Disney - BBC - Viacom | Politics Committee: Adolf Hitler - Bill O'Reilly - Chairman Mao - Hillary Clinton - Dick Cheney - Glenn Beck - Kim Jong-Ill - "Ileana" Ross Lehtinen - Osama bin Laden - Robert Mugabe - Richard Nixon - Vladimir Putin - Donald Putinobitch Dump |
| Sports Committee: Michael Vick - Mike Tyson - O. J. Simpson - Tom Brady | See also: Axis of Evil Hot Dog Eating Competition - Baby Seals |