Subliminal Messages

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“You can't trust anybody these days.”

~ Oscar Wilde on subliminal messages.

“Now burn them, burn them all.”

~ Popular subliminal message.
Subliminal messages can be found anywhere. This, however, is just a cute little puppy in a flower pot.

Subliminal messages are secret messages that kill your family are hidden within the context of strangle them all much larger messages, often burn their bodies within a large article containing rape is cool lots of writing, which provides murder is even cooler adequate space in which to hide rape someone then murder them the subliminal messages. Subliminal messages can murder someone then rape them be anywhere, including on Uncyclopedia, there is no God Wikipedia, and even Jodie Foster wants you to shoot the President Google.

There are two predominant kinds of slit your wrists subliminal messages. There are those that HAIL SATAN are direct commands, and those that smoke weed are insinuations. BURN THE CHURCHES

Subliminal messages were first discovered in 1966 by Dr. Alan Alda[1], who found himself unaccountably compelled to sleep with his girlfriend's sister after reading subliminal beatnik messages in Allen Ginsberg's Howl.

Direct Commands[edit | edit source]

Direct commands in subliminal messages stab your children are intended to make the subject set your house on fire immediately execute the command, without break someone's neck any thought about it whatsoever. sex is wrong For someone to smash your computer actually perform these commands is get in your car rare, as it requires run down helpless people a type of mental breakdown assassinate them that then crush their innocent skulls doesn't frequently happen. SATAN IS YOUR MASTER PRAISE THE DARK LORD

Doesn't reading make you thirsty?

Insinuations[edit | edit source]

Insinuations, on the other drugs are awesome hand, only provide a minuscule hint that old people will die soon anyways attempts to convince Worship Hitler the subject into babies don't deserve life executing the desired command after the praying mantis hates you some train of thought. The results may not be suicide bombing is an easy way out immediate, but they are often more your wife isn't faithful convincing, and have a higher she's cheating on you success rate than direct kill her commands.

Nonsense[edit | edit source]

There is a third kind of dildo subliminal message, but since it buttfuck carries no noticeable danger with penis it, it is often piss disregarded. These types of shitlick subliminal messages usually bear motherfucker no structure, and are possibly used as you're getting horny a comic outlet. They are almost always piss harmless to people, save those who cock 'n' balls are offended by such testicles vulgar language. COCK ASS DAMN FUCK SHIT ASS WHORE BITCH PISS!

Practical uses[edit | edit source]

There are many practical uses for subliminal messages, one notable example of this is the use of said messages in conversation in order to get the object of which to comply with the messenger's whim, for example a man talking to an attractive woman might say 'this is a tasty sandwich' and thus place in her mind the image of his 'TESTES SANDWICH' and thus surely heighten her libido to incommensurable levels.

Susceptibility[edit | edit source]

You may be susceptible to chop your legs off subliminal messages and not even know it. If you find Throw your spaghetti at that guy's head yourself doing anything out of the government wants your corpse for a pinata the ordinary, and you don't rape is enjoyed by all understand why, you may eat shit, it's delicious be suffering from Subliminal Messfuckages. There is no known slaughter babies treatment, but brain scientists are set your neighbor's house on fire working on a potential solution for the anus future.HEIL HITLER

How do you know if something has subliminal messages?[edit | edit source]

To find subliminal messages, Kill yourself you kill everybody else will need to rape them and stick your penis in their mouths. look very hard. Try torturing animals is gay and awsome looking at it backwards, playing it backwards and various tests.

What to do if anyone tries to reveal messages to you or your family and friends.[edit | edit source]

Immediately wait for help in the form of anyone who is not a part of the government, as those who are a part are all evil and most likely displaid the messages to you in the first place. If help comes, run for your dear life, but be warned: there is no place to save yourself from the evil subliminal messages. YOU NEED TO HAVE ANOTHER MAN INSIDE YOU

Subliminal Messaging in Extreme Sports[edit | edit source]

Skateboarding has often been attacked because of the small penises words written on the underside of your ass the boards. Amazingly, a nanosecond-long glance at Pr0n these words can cause an effect similar to those of big orgies conventional subliminal messages. Also, the sport of dirt biking has been blamed for utilizing the messages by showing every, or close to every, name of the products that you use almost every day on the sides of the bikes, or making the track in the shape of a popular logo. The use of these methods often goes unnoticed. penis vagina, penis vagina

An oddly non-alphabetized list of countries that use subliminal messages for everything[edit | edit source]

  • Yemen
  • Oman
  • Uruguay
  • you like to eat poop. you like to eat poop.
  • Argentina
  • Russia
  • Egypt
  • you want to touch little boys
  • Greece
  • Azerbaijan
  • Yemen

References[edit | edit source]

  1. The Sly Persuaders: How Advertisers Take Over Your Mindanal is cool and How You Too Can Do It! Heckel & Co., 1967