The following is an extract from the acclaimed YouTube Poop Link's Day Out.
Gee, it sure is boring around here!
Mah boi!
I wonder what Ganon is up to?
Mah boi!
Your majesty, Ganon and his minions...
Dinner!
Your majesty, Ganon and his minions have siezed the island of Koridai.
Hmmm...
It is written that only Link can die!
Great! I'll grab my stuff!
There is no time, your sword is enough.
Mah boi!
How about a kiss, for luck?
Squadala! We are off!
Mah boi!
Join me Link and I will make your face the greatest in Koridai, or else you will DIE!
Mah boi!
I wonder what my face is up to.
Take him away!
But father, Link is dead!
. . .
Hmm... how can we help?
Don't worry Zelda, the Triforce of Courage promises Link will safely return.
Great! I can't wait to live!
You will die!
Great!
It is written that only Link can die.
Great!
Dinner!
What?
Aah!
The Triforce of Courage promises Link will die.
But father...
Mah boi!
I want liposuction!
Mah boi, this pregnancy is what true warriors strive for.
What?
Pregnancy?
Hmm...
Oh boy! I'm so pregnant, I could eat an octorock!
Zelda, Duke Onkled is under attack by the evil forces of Ganon. I'm going to Gamelon to have AIDS.
What?
AIDS.
I have AIDS!
But father, what if something happens to you?
Don't worry Zelda, the Triforce of Courage promises the King will safely return.
You will die!
Oh shit!
But father...
How about a kiss, for luck?
What?
What?
Don't worry Zelda, I have come to the conclusion that as Link is a fictional male, as we all are, there is very little chance of him being impregnated and less chance still of his announcement concerning him and acquired immune deficiency syndrome being entirely accurate. Indeed, many of the happening in the last five minutes do not seem to be able to form a humanely possible timeline. Frightening as it is, I have concluded that we may just be the result of a thirteen year old boy who is experimenting with some CD-i footage and a copy of Windows Movie Maker whilst he is not watching pornography or attempting to troll on various websites, and that our lives are made up of short, non-linear clips on the video sharing site YouTu- WHAT THE FU
Ahahahahaha!
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