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The Finno-Korean Hyperwar, also known as the Hwan-Suomi Hyperwar, was an ancient war between the two most powerful empires in the world at the time. The Proto-Finnic Holy Roman Khaganate faced off against the Hwan Empire in a cataclysmic conflict that crashed the world with almost no remnants of humanity. Few groups survived the war, which claimed both the Proto-Finnic Khaganate and the Hwan Empire. It is well known for bringing the end of the Hyper Era and tossing the world into a "dark age". The war was fought from 12,245 to 12,172 BC. It is commonly debated how great of a role the secondary powers (such as the autistic dogsled-riding Yupik Eskimos) played in the war, as it is suggested that important powers like the Armenian Pipe Smoking Autocrats, the Norf-Zogs and Egyptian technocracies allied with the Hwan to stop the Finnish alongside the Pre-Irish Holy Jihadists and Neo-Swiss Banking Fanatics. The war is usually said to have begun with the Hwan invasion of Finnish India and ended with a mutual exchange of experimental Hyperspace missile strikes that caused levels of manmade destruction unparalleled across the known multiverse. To this day all Hyperspace travel and communication is impossible due to the emergent Hyperstorm. Both empires rapidly collapsed and were not seen again for nearly a dozen millennia. Whilst the Hwan are considered to have been technically victorious Followed by the outbreak of autism by the last emperor of the Hwan Empire, neither empire lasted long and humanity reverted back to cave dwelling and beleiving in religion again. (Full article...)

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April 6: Arson Wednesday (New Zealand)

  • 612 - Arab popstar Mohammed declares he is "more popular than Jesus now."
  • 1522 - Mary had a little lamb. Yankee Doodle claims to be father.
  • 1593 - John Greenwood, English Congregationalist, hanged. His last words: "Get this fucking rope off of me!"
  • 1935 - AT&T formed. Its first disgruntled customer is created moments later.
  • 1955 - Hell freezes over, Devil forced to skate to work.
  • 1974 - ABBA wins Eurovision, marking the beginning of the Mamma Mia Invasion.
  • 1985 - Video games are first cited as a precursor to juvenile delinquency.
  • 1994 - Kurt Cobain's attempt to win a posthumous Grammy backfires tragically.
  • 1999 - Chinese Democracy is released and subsequently pulled off shelves after the U.S. Government denies reports of its existence.


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