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Today's Free Sample! I was thinking of The Pilgrim Fathers the other day; their fantastic voyage to a new world and the dangers they endured. And I wondered why would God place such obstacles in the way of the faithful? Why did He make their lives in England so uncomfortable that they would swap the warm ale of their homeland for the high seas? Of course, it seems obvious that just as God tested Abraham's faith by demanding he sacrifice his son, so the Pilgrims were forced to sacrifice the casual violence and binge-drinking of home to prove their worthiness to inherit the best that His creation could provide. And how He rewarded them; not just by providing their progeny with proficient dentistry, but by emptying an entire continent in front of them with the divine gift of firearms and the smallpox virus. Surely these God-fearing heroes were truly the men made in His image. Surely too, God gave our forefathers this new home so they could move away from men made according to less divine templates. Surely too He made them cross the Atlantic to put distance between them and those who perversely choose to worship Him incorrectly. Or not at all. With what interest must He have watched the progress of their tiny ship across His mighty ocean, His unseen hand guiding them through the uncharted waters. And then I thought about how God must see us all from his vantage point in the clouds. Scientists say that the Earth is 6,800 years old. Well, even the most compassionate of beings must get bored, with nothing to look at millennium after millennium but His own handiwork. (Full article...) Recently featured: You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured when you become an EXCLUSIVE MEMBER. More of the best of Uncyclopedia More can be yours! Join today!
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Exclusive PLUS member of the Month!!! Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 40,158 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Plus:!:
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Uncyclopedia English United Kingdom 40,158 |
Desciclopédia Português Brazil 50785 |
アンサイクロペディア 日本語 Japan 19194 |
Nonsensopedia Polski Poland  17766 |
Nonciclopedia Italiano Italy 14423 |
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Désencyclopédie Français France 8936 |
Inciclopedia Español Spain 12400 |
偽基百科 正體中文 Taiwan 6417 |
Uncyclopedia.de Deutsch Germany 6330 |
Hikipedia Suomi Finland 7300 |
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| Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016. | ||||||
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