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Today's Free Sample! Our Lord and Saviour, Horatio "Cyclops" Nelson, 1st Viscount Nelson, KB (29 September 1758 - 21 October 1805), was Britain's greatest naval hero who beat the French, Spanish and Danish fleets and still had enough energy to grapple with Emma Hamilton on his days off. He was the only man who Emperor Napoleon said was a bigger bastard than him (by about two inches) and died discussing stubborn shirt stains at the Battle of Trafalgar. Horatio Nelson was born with a full complement of arms, legs and eyes in Norfolk, England in 1758 to the Reverend Edmund Nelson and wife Catherine. His father taking the Christian maxim about going forth and multiplying kept his wife in almost constant labour as he wanted to breed a "Cricket eleven". Horatio came in to bat as number six which usually means he was a bit of an "all rounder". In British naval terms this also suggested sexual ambiguity but Nelson was definitely keener on frocks and kept a chest of contemporary fashions in his cabin when he became an officer. (Full article...) You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured when you become an EXCLUSIVE MEMBER. More of the best of Uncyclopedia More can be yours! Join today! March 3: Beat Strangers to Death With a Lead Pipe Day
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Exclusive PLUS member of the Month!!! Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 39,184 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Plus:!:
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Uncyclopedia English United Kingdom 39,184 |
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