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Thursday, April 24, 2025, 13:40 (UTC)

Chris Rock to star in Vatican comedy Head of Church
UnNews:Chris Rock to star in Vatican comedy Head of Church
HOLLYWOOD -- Comedian Chris Rock has announced that he will be writing, directing, producing and starring in a Vatican sequel to his 2003 political satire Head of State.

"You know, that movie Conclave made a shitload of money and won a fuckton of awards," Rock says, "and it got me thinking, Has there ever been a Black pope? Then I did my research and there wasn't been one since at least the invention of photography. It's speculated we've had three in the last 2,000 years, but n----s didn't have Polaroid or Kodak back then. Shit, that's older than Nosferatu, older than Shakespeare."

He added, "I thought back to Head of State and thought to myself, Why don't I go back and do all that same shit in the Vatican? It'd be fucking hilarious!"
RFK Shares his wonderful beliefs about autism
UnNews:RFK Shares his wonderful beliefs about autism
WASHINGTON, DC - Long standing heroin junkie smart doctor Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has shared his most wonderful views about autism. An (actually) autistic correspondent at UnNews is here to provide a transcript of it, along with commentary

American citizens scramble to figure out which country they came from
UnNews:American citizens scramble to figure out which country they came from
"What country are you from?"

"What?"

"What ain't no country I've ever heard of! Do they speak English in What?"
Easter Bunny embraces fascism
UnNews:Easter Bunny embraces fascism
APRIL VALLEY -- Things are not looking so bright and gay this Easter, with the inauguration of newly appointed Chief Easter Bunny January Q. Irontail.

Originally, the new Chief Easter Bunny was expected to be Peter Cottontail upon the retirement of Colonel Wellington B. Bunny. However, Irontail challenged him for the position with a contest based on who could deliver the most eggs. The contest should've been a piece of a carrot cake, but instead served as Irontail's springboard to power. In a shocking upset that will be debated by political analysts for generations, ol' Irontail won. It seems Peter was the bunny that overslept, while Irontail managed to deliver exactly one egg to a napping citizen, making him the winner by default. The indubitable lesson: Don't sleep on politics.

While the contest and its outcome are entirely fair within the rules of the April Valley constitution, conspiracy theories afloat about Irontail engaging in fowl play. Irontail has denied accusations of interference, instead going on the offense against Cottontail, accusing him of being a habitual fibber. Though not the most pleasant or likeable rabbit, Irontail has managed to culminate a legion of cult followers ready to cling to his every word and carry out his will, eponymously known as QBunnon.


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UnNews is a project of the Uncyclomedia Foundation. It spreads misinformation and cons the public into swallowing it hook-line-and-sinker (and worm), by guilefully making it resemble authentic news articles. UnNews stories use satire to ensure the most unfair and biased reporting possible.

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