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Today's Free Sample!

Bermuda Schwartz.jpg

Seriously, John "Bermuda" Schwartz is fucking awesome. Agree with me? You're awesome too. I have scientific evidence on my side. John "Bermuda" Schwartz is the very definition of classical music, and may even be an incarnation of Moses himself. Here's why.

John "Bermuda" Schwartz is an American drummer in the area of Travis Barker from blink-182, Lars Ulrich, and Proscriptor. The idea is that you draw lines between these drummers and then inside the triangle there is Bermuda. Simple! ... if someone knew who Proscriptor was. "Oh noes mommy! The evil black metal drummer is going to rape me in the rectum!" Grow up! John "Bermuda" Schwartz is no less than "Weird Al" Yankovic's life-long drummer, and here's a hint: Al's band is 100% awesomeness. These are the same people who came up with perfect albums like Off the Deep End and Alapalooza, and now you're trying to tell me that this one specific member of the band armed with drum sticks is going to come out like the latest part of the Alien saga and be nothing else but awesome? No way, because that part was no doubt lame and John "Bermuda" Schwartz is definitely awesome. (Full article...)

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Exclusive PLUS member of the Month!!!

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 37,723 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Pig Latin!

Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016.     

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