Plus:

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Uncyclopediaplus.JPG


Sophia has inspired us to work on 38,607 articles since opening in January 2005,

and YOU can view them

ALL

if you have a

credit card or PayPal account!

Hey kids! Before editing, please read the writing guidelines and flamewar manual.
More Detail can be found in our Ignorable policies

Uncyclopedia:Browse


The flag of Turkey, as it has appeared since 1844.
Vote for featured images »

Today's Free Sample!

Beat-up-santa.jpg

I was sitting in my living room very late at night, watching The Christmas That Almost Wasn't. I knew the fat, jolly bastard would be arriving soon, and I would be waiting for him. I've been waiting for this moment for years ever since St. Dickolas gave me coal for Christmas four years in a row, despite my good behavior. I'll shove that stocking full of coal up his ass and show him how funny it is.

I was dozing off when I heard it. The sound I could recognize anywhere. The fat bastard's heavy stomps on my rooftop. It's showtime. I sprang up off of the couch and hid behind the Christmas tree. I stay there for a little bit when I hear a loud tumble and an audible "Ah, shit.. that hurt." The fat bastard had entered the point of no return. Of course the jolly prick went straight to the kitchen, where he helped himself to the milk and cookies I laid out. I put a small amount of laxative and LSD in the cookies. I'm also pretty sure he got into the liquor cabinet because I heard him say something about a "Mr. Jack Daniels," with glass clinking around. He laid the presents under the tree, I was so close to him I could smell the liquor and cookies on him. Somehow, he didn't see me.

Then he walks over to the stalking, I peek around the tree. I see the lump of coal in his hand.

No the fuck you don't. (Full article...)

You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured when you become an EXCLUSIVE MEMBER.

More of the best of Uncyclopedia

More can be yours! Join today!

"Do I know you?"

December 22: Dead Meme Appreciation Day

  • 5000 BC(ish) - God plans to make perfect woman from an arm and a leg, Adam says "What can ya do with a rib?"
  • 600 BC - YHWH creates woman - twice
  • 0000 - The Blessed Mother Mary's contractions begin
  • 1000 - Spaghetti Monster creates sex.
  • 1231 - God creates Vaginal cancer to spite Spaghetti Monster.
  • 1337 - Counter-Strike is invented
  • 1589 - Japan announces the release of the Hello Kitty Vibrator.
  • 1666 - Manhattan is sold to the Knicks for 24 virgins, an extreme rarity in the area. They immediately re-sell it to Donald Trump.
  • 1923 - LSD is first manufactured, diarrhea of epic solar proportions ensues.
  • 1933 - William Butler Yeats is found dead in a bear cage at the local zoo.
  • 1954 - Film Actors Guild (FAG) is founded
  • 1974 - Gay men blame women for AIDS.
  • 1989 - The end of the world as we know it. Surprisingly, most people are either indifferent or quite fine about the whole thing.
  • 1989 - Pixies send Monkeys to Heaven, Anthony gives Cleopatra a crate of brown ale.
  • 1991 - Man loses his religion, but later finds he left it in the corner, silly man.
  • 2005 - Pussy flavored ice cream invented.
  • 2006 - World peace declared.
  • 2007 - England nukes Wales. Nobody cares.
  • 2012 - Everyone realizes they're not dead.
  • 3434 - Vin Diesel is cloned from one of his last remaining pubic hairs, discovered in Margaret Thatcher's vagina.
  • 5000 - Science descovers a "female orgasm", she was faking...
  • 2111 - New form of moe discovered, turns out to be the same kind of popular moe anime at the time, but with more robotic titties.


Archived Anniversaries

For exclusive news coverage, get UnNews PLUS!


Luigi arrested for CEO killing.png
"He ah-no give me ah-good coverage!"

Ongoing: Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel-Hamas conflict • United States presidential election aftermath • NBA and NHL seasons • Athletes doing the "Trump Dance" • Bill Belichick going insane
Recent deaths: • Rickey Henderson • Brian Thompson (United Healthcare CEO) • Democrat party • Diddy's career • The Eras Tour • Alabama football's championship bid • The white guy from The Mod Squad
Upcoming deaths: Vladimir Putin • Bashar al-Assad • Diddy's freedom • Benjamin Netanyahu • Jay-Z's career and freedom • Kate Middleton • Aaron Rodgers' career


More Current Events at UnNews News

Did you know...

That you can get Did You Know in your email if you SUBSCRIBE TODAY!

  • ... that the moon is not made of cheese, but magnesium of milk powder, which explains why everyone that ever goes there feels sick when they come back?


Read More

Exclusive PLUS member of the Month!!!

Writer of the month.png

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

BePrepared.png

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Noobaward.png

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 38,607 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Pig Latin!



Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016.     

Sista projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

Please help us feed our starving pets.
Uncyclopedia is made possible through contributions from readers like you.

All donations go toward the continuation of Uncyclopedia and its community of volunteer editors. If Uncyclopedia has ever made you laugh then we invite you to donate and help us pay for our expensive server(s). You can make all donations using your PayPal account or debit/credit card here. You can also support your local Uncyclopedia by purchasing merchandise from our merchandise store where 15% of all sales goes toward Uncyclopedia. If you cannot donate but still want to help Uncyclopedia monetarily, you can click some of the ads in our e-store to help us keep the rest of the site ad free.

For nonsense related IRC chat, see this instructional video (only $19.95! + s&h).

Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Clinjas.

Retrieved from "https://en.uncyclopedia.co/w/index.php?title=Plus:&oldid=6055384"