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Today's Free Sample! A hardboard has revealed that it suffered abuse at the hands of Rolf Harris for many years, frequently being "made to wobble" on television against its will. "He promised me a life in showbiz," the board told us, "and my eyes lit up. I had always been ambitious about my future. I didn't want to spend my whole life in the factory – the factory where I was made I mean. I wanted to be part of something big, perhaps a table or a cabinet. When Rolf said he was going to make me a star on stage, I thought he meant as part of the background scenery." Instead, the board revealed, Harris subjected it to decades of humiliating abuse, carrying it on stage in his licentious, hairy arms and "wobbling" it for his own and the crowd's enjoyment. "I never told anyone because I didn't think people would believe me. I just used to freeze and go stiff as a ... well, as stiff as a board when he grabbed ahold of me, but unfortunately that just made the sound even more effective." (Full article...) Recently featured: You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured when you become an EXCLUSIVE MEMBER. More of the best of Uncyclopedia More can be yours! Join today! August 28: International Horniness Day.
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Exclusive PLUS member of the Month!!! Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 40,591 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Plus:!:
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Uncyclopedia English United Kingdom 40,591 |
Desciclopédia Português Brazil 50785 |
アンサイクロペディア 日本語 Japan 19194 |
Nonsensopedia Polski Poland  17766 |
Nonciclopedia Italiano Italy 14423 |
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Désencyclopédie Français France 8936 |
Inciclopedia Español Spain 12400 |
偽基百科 正體中文 Taiwan 6417 |
Uncyclopedia.de Deutsch Germany 6330 |
Hikipedia Suomi Finland 7300 |
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| Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016. | ||||||
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