Big Bird

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Big Bird chasing children.

Big Bird (Russian: Большая птица) is a character from the beloved childrens show Seamen street. The children love him so much that they run away at his sight.

The Child Massacre
BigBirdMurder.jpg
  • Big Bird at his Trial
Big Bird
большая птица
Date:
Friday 13, 2023
Time:
8 am, Firday 13 (GAY)
Duration:
2.53 hours
Location:
Siberia
Coordinates:
66.611195851214,95.14797288025981
Type:
Massacre
Cause:
Big Bird
Motive:
Told authorities "they ate chickenfingers"
Target:
children
First reporter:
nigerian prince
Budget:
10.000$
Patron:
confused grandmothers
Participants:
Hillary Clinton
Outcome:
Mass death
Additional Information
  • 89 000 orphans
Reported Deaths:
89 000
Injuries:
0 reported
Missing:
56 reported
Damages:
a lot reported
Burial:
dumped in lake
Arrests:
Hillary Clinton, Big Bird
Suspects:
Hillary Clinton, Big Bird
Accused:
Hillary Clinton, Big Bird
Convicted:
Hillary Clinton, Big Bird
Charges:
1 count of mass murder and 89 000 counts of violating the Geneva convention
Trial:
International Prosecutors vs. Big Bird
Verdict:
Not Guilty
Convictions:
None
Awards:
Child comedy award rewarded to Big Bird

Criminal Offenses[edit]

Big Bird was convicted for ketamine use and production in 2001. He has also been accused of acts of terrorism against the Turkish Republic. He was put on the wanted list by the Best Korean dictator Mao Zedong. He is a shoot on sight target. Total Damages caused by Big Bird range from 600 000 - 2.5 million Chinese Yuan.