Uncyclopedia's Article on Itself
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“The truest history is the history that you completely pull out of your ass”
“In Soviet Russia, Uncyclopedia's Article on Itself Writes You!”
“I often write criticisms of articles I have written that are critical of my own work, but I never actually publish them. Or even write them.”
Uncyclopedia's Article on Itself is a somewhat biased account of the history, purpose, and cultural role of the Internet reference giant. The fundamental cause of the bias in the article is unknown, but a small Communist faction based in Madrid is thought to be involved. Unfortunately, no text of greater depth and detail can be found on the subject of Uncyclopedia, so it is accepted as the truth — regardless of how many sources suggest otherwise.
It is believed that the bulk of the text was first written and codified in 4367 BCE, by the great Egyptian Pharaoh Steve Martin XIV, who dictated it to a group of 100 slaves. Upon turning in the original draft, the slaves were promply executed so that Martin could retain all credit for what historians consider to be the second humorous document ever written (the first being a tablet inscribed with the question, "What came first: The Chicken or the Egg?"). Martin had the account sealed inside his burial pyramid so securely that it was not discovered until 1980, by a team of archaeologists accompanying the crew of Raiders of the Lost Ark. Its existence has been deemed a miracle, since Uncyclopedia itself did not actually exist until 2005.
The hieroglyphics were later translated into English and posted to Uncyclopedia so that people could better understand the thing around which their pathetic lives revolved.
Unfortunately, the the article appears to be vandalized by a group of idiots at the Pokémon company who had no life. Those jerks were subsequently blocked indefinitely, though, and the page has since been protected to prevent editing.