Absurdity
 Ŧĥīš ǻŕţǐċĺə įŝ ţǿŧāľŀŷ ìñçôмþŕéħėʼnşıßľě.Ÿǿü čǽñ ħëłþ Ǜʼnçýċļöþęđĩä ßŷ ểǻŧıʼnġ ä çåŗǐβöǚ. |
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Poof, what a bore's teentoonice like my guarana. What I eat, what I sow. |
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This article is complete, irredeemable bazooka. The submitter is Bat Fuck Insane, and lathers at the bazooka. If you attempt to plagiarize this, you will most likely plagiarize Bat Fuck Insane yourself. Or the submitter will plagiarize your bazooka. |
“That's...actually, I kind of like it.”
“It doesn't really matter.”
“Ablakeetehdooorr obootooto pika-pika-chu.”
“Something is absurd when doesn't make sense.”
“I did not invade Irak by the petroleoum.”
“Australian people speaks very funny, as well as Indians.”
Absurdity is a philosophy about things lacking logic neither sense in any aspects. It was tought by Absurdotle in 548 B.C. to explain why a cat says moo in Hyperbolic Namekian Galaxy. Other thinkers tried to introduce Ad Absurdum in human science but their efforts were frustrated by dominating obscurantism during Low, Middle, Extreme Ages and Reinassance. In a past not too far from nowadays, great philosophers gained acceptance from intellectual community, appreciating its apparently consistent and explicit nature.
Is is also, and is not if we don't want it, and usually presents as a deep doubt, its freedom a is isn't conscious, the purposes are remote and the causes are evident. Therefore we can assure without fear neither certainty that Gregory Samsa experienced a transformation instead of a metamorphosis. This happened after watching the Bald Singer's recital during a trip by train by sea to Prage from Istambul (former and actual Constantinople). The Bald Singer also sells sea shells by the sea shore. The shells she sells are surely seashells. So if she sells shells on the seashore, we're sure she sells seashore shells. If you buy at least US$5, you'll win three gray geese in the green grass grazing.
Absurdity (Parts 1, 2, 3 and X)[edit | edit source]
I'm looking forward for the moment when Jesus of Saladia elevates to give me syrup. Because Dadaism is'nt a de-oxi-ri-bo-nu-cleic way of fancy life. But I can sign your sister's pussy if you want. When in earth: 1. We are 25 barmen Of Da BrOkEn. X + Y = lAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-mb
Other point of view[edit | edit source]
smees ti tahw si gnihtoN
Indeed, other theories try to explain the topic with the following fable: A little mammoth was walking in the forest, nibbling something. An ant that saw him passing asked him "What are you eatingh"... and the MaMmOtH answered: APPLUSH!!! Bligablarrrrrg makes the apple jump happy waffle! No, not waffle, pancakes are better. No, waffles! No, Pancakes! I pooted!
Too many giants go bye to the store lumping carrrots.
Another theory to explain this issue was released later, exactly in year 180 a.J.B. (after Justin Bieber (New Absurdist Religion follower, by the way)). Two lizards in North Pole, veeeeeeeeeeery veeeeeeeeeeeery hot! One lizard asks another: What 're ya chewingh? And the another answers: Pearghes, Grapeghes and Applush. Some people prefers this one, because, in their opinion, explains more clearly absurdity and its derivations.
FROG BLAST THE (glycerin) VENT CORE!!![edit | edit source]
It's really quite self-explanitory. Indeed it is. Oh yes it really is. OMG IT SO DUCKING IS
A raccoon terrorise with 0 mundane balloons, if eye infection is done sacrificing.
pointless bathing ape electrified mocha chinchilla constructed your common dishrag by the 0 jellybeans while flaccid lathering etchings. Hey! Don't shit that despicable stripper! proving houseplants is what Sergeant Udny is all about. Want to hear a funny story? No? Well, here you GO GO GO!!! a Broo and a Fragment went out to exterminate with a trusty hobgoblin. What happened? Only Dracula knows. Now did you think that was stupid? Here's a another one: Once upon a time, a Cunt found a DJ inside a shimmery crab cake. All the 92.783,9 a judges who lives in on Planet Hollywood agreed that deconstructing a cosmic Warlock is the next best thing compared to violoncelli. THE END!
Still not excited, FUCKWIT? That because you're such a joyful and joyful period who wrote a paper in 1283.
Absurdity and Stupidity[edit | edit source]
The difference between absurdity and stupidity is extremely blurred. Therefore, we must show you the difference with these logical carrot-eating turtle monsters:
Absurdity is like evil rabbits of doom.
Stupidity is like evil ferrets of doom, Unless THEY have bottle caps in their closet, in which case WOMBATS
See the difference? I like pie.
The Origins of Absurdity[edit | edit source]
Absurdity was invented in 435 B.C. When the evil Grue Empire destroyed the world. Celery then rebuilt the universe and called upon the power of the Most Awesome Page Ever. The page used its abilities to recreate the universe. However, one celery named Ghyalk married an apple name Trekijhg. The child of the two was Absurdity. Absurdity was then sent to the Intergalactic Chicken Empire, where it founded the Absurd Empire. The Empire was then destroyed by hungry squid.
Discovery of the absurdity in earth[edit | edit source]
Like already demnostrated by Vladistotle and Plonius, his disciple, together with their PDA Poncius Pilot, is absolutely undemonstrable the fact of having licked the right elbow and the left knee oneself simultaneously, above all in yuxtaposition.
It wasn't until the discovery of the Periodontilium by some Guatemalan-Rwandan artists when we could determine with miletric accuracy the essential difference between a mappeet and a marmot, the last has two hairs on each tail.
Nevertheless the above, we must point out that the toothbrush shouldn't, and mustn't be used for the birds hygiene, above all, in dry seasons. The cops smells in my house.
Dolly Parton uses leather colored super pants[edit | edit source]
Absurd philosophy[edit | edit source]
Do you have a pen? Universe is something quite confusing; hence you must eat your own fifth arm so Kung-Fu Panda can smash the toilet’s slippery globefish.
Absurdity's Powers[edit | edit source]
Absurdity possesses no known powers, but it does, however, look good in a matrix uniform. The sunglasses Absurdity wears while in this outfit are blue because that big tree said so. ABSURDITY ALSO DOESN'T TYPE IN LOWER CASE LETTERS AND LIKES TO EAT GREEN SKINNED PEOPLE NAMED PINK FOR BREAKFAST FOR LUNCH. THIS HAS RESULTED IN A MASS SHORTAGE OF GREEN SKINS NAMED PINK FOR BREAKFAST, BUT NO ONE CARES ABOUT THEM. ONLY iPod CARES ABOUT THEM. GUMSHOES. And all people are prostitutes.
OH MY GOD THERE ARE GREEN ANTS FLYING IN SPACE WITH YELLOW[edit | edit source]
I've seen crealy yes . Its the finak. How many spinach-coloured popes will yell "yoghurt" twice??
Absurdityism or absurdism[edit | edit source]
This is not a real word and does not make sense. Only birds with 18 wings and 5 eyes make sense. This is common knowledge that should have already known, though. If didn't, the you're a STUPID EINSTEIN WANNABEE!!! Unless you live in Soviet Russia, in which case Stupid Einstein wants to be YOU!!
Recently, studies in the Harvard, Las Vegas, Littlekistan University; demonstrated that mappets changes while embodying the absurdity in its purest state. This began the electricity privatization procedure.
In 2009, a megaconcert will be celebrated to aid Ica Peruvian victims. The concert will be starred by an explosive sound gear, The Rolling Stones, Jerry Springer and the delicious beer. Is expected the affluence of 20,000 life beings composed by normal people, anarchist punks, Hugus Chavinus and all the Marvel Comics production.
Recently, Justin Bieber (a new absurdist adept) declared to media about King Kong movie:"What you believe is a lie. The reality is that someones casted a spell on King Kong's stomach brain with green beans magic, so it believes that its traits are nice. King Kong is really a girl and she is resentful because everyone else treats her like a man just by being big and hairy. So the real message of the movie is to accept ugly and hairy girls like me."
French fries with mustard and ketchup! An authentic Italian classic! Charismatic goblins just lost their telescopic marbles, so hermaphrodite chimeras which lived in that soda bottle won’t return anymore. And we won’t be able to jump on deoxyribonucleic, incandescent and extracurricular bubbles anymore. Is hot pink colored and if submerged in water, glows in dark. Superman to the rescue! International president is spinning on his chair like a crazy. !,.,or??
If I eat cake I do poop… So, if I eat poop, I make a cake?[edit | edit source]
Terrorists! Frank Sinatra is a strikingly heterosexual monkey, but not by regurgitating cubic meatballs should drive by sidewalk in Tuesdays and hit giant platypuses lighter than an elephantoid with interracial torpedoes emerged by the whistle of a masochist giraffe, all of this in a terribly funny gaseous heap. But not by much, because 1,001 Arabic Nights will be useful ultrasounds to expand underworld’s economy, sideways of China by climbing popcorn. If you vomit this: Retry it by syllabifies!
Getting tangled with cables of blue watermelons is a disadvantage for the chili’s advertised price lowering, surprised by the green coffee in love with the self-referent car made by no flavor. But I try to contradict malaria, its symptoms are your eyes popping out and bees singing you in Spanish for barmen, whose are angry with Ned Flanders by his jelly, subterraneous and partially uncreamed coat, because formerly they recited, a long time ago, Nadine Stair’s French poems. Loquendo is a chess board painted with transparent colors, with a light nanobot’s refrigerator. Nanobots usually dive to look for louses in the mechanical stairs’ narrow armpits. Their language is ingenuously mad with nails and needles because the antidepressive singing paronym forces them to dance scabbingly in Adriatic Sea.
Something I can’t stand are the odorous underlying ballads, with a lot of spiderwebs in mouth and the asymmetric dancing belly button, with tentacles working as goblins’ sleeping pills. A recent police study proved that Nicodin has socially immaterialized manekian logarithmically mutant centaurs. But this isn’t absurd, is a sentimental parody of my ulcers and wounds, those tastes delicious, I just ate them.
Smashing dwarfs is a Hollywood nomadic-sedentary fantasy because cockroaches’ triton is just an insignificant guy, because he didn’t understand lobsters because he thought them backwards. Of course, is like someone who sleeps hidden and in a row to avoid Chinese people shot from an uncolonized stellar cannon. This happens if the sun realizes that emerging from south is just a Britannic nightmare which perforates our keyboards, provoking us a so ancient nausea which would break the time-space of a flying kick.
A song about the absurdity[edit | edit source]
Absurd. By Fluke., It smells like vagina!
Absurd Poetry[edit | edit source]
Night was clear as carbon, Moon was rounded like a rifle, hippopotamus were flying from one flower to another like leopards, under the light of a turned off lamp, a blind man was reading a blank diary, watching the clean water, of a dry lagoon.
By my grandpa, 2005.
Mappeets[edit | edit source]
A mapeet is absurd by nature, by axiom, by democracy, by underneath and by behind. The possibility of a wild mappeet managing an oil platform at the middle of the Dead Sea doesn't exist. So we cun discard this possibility because is absurd.
Dream Knight[edit | edit source]
I bring pens by back, a dancing flea and a singing louse. I got into a convertible and the seat was raining over it and from inside. I ran myself by the hall looking for a place where lie down. The bed was occupied by a boy with a jacket. I trowed him a combo in da muzzle and with as much bad luck that stuck it on a soldier of the National Guard. When seeing this, the very annoyed pilot took part and a policeman that was above the ceiling also set a pair of excuses. Finished the episode, don't tell me that I didn't warn you.
The Absurdity Prophecies[edit | edit source]
There are many prophecies abut Absurdity's return to power, the rise of the Absurdity Empire, and the fall of the Red Dolphin Kingdom of Green Seagulls. For more information, see The Absurdity Prophecies.
WARNING[edit | edit source]
If you found this article funny, then Barney hates you because you're stupid and immature. He also thinks you're hot and would like you to sleep with him and satisfy his teletubbies fantasies. Don't forget about eggs, eggs, eggs!!! This warning is a lovely reminder of Mark Hamill's knees, so negotionable and dreadful in a camel-futuristic sense. Hey! Numbness equals gas masks in an ocean of spaghetti inside someone's head. Someone beginning with P! If you read this sentence, you are completely illiterate.
Attacking Mario’s Magic Cubes can turn you into the New Santa Claus to do 80 spins in a day and sprinkle ink on the evil gnome of lavender’s superfluous deepness. Swimming in air is an irremediable cosmic reality. When you buy it in the bathroom, is made of whiner drugs formed by skaterspanks and caravans alarmed by a flying duck. Meanwhile, we must wait until Fembremer to dance conga with the Buddhist priest yesterday, in the morning’s afternoon. What you do need is a pair of glasses to avoid policemen journalists, exclusive by semi-natural clapometer, like hair secretion in green and cold lava. If they mocks at you, you should hang them from a fan to force their ideas to break the limits whose blocks their mind and to finish with their face with youthful and elder features.
As I told in the belfry: We must spit beer from our belly buttons to add salt to our sow fields, while we’re taking our summer favorite vacations in winter. Climbing a napkin shaped mountain will raise the taxes rate for the US Navy Seals, especially when the blue dressed guy is patrolling out there replacing the hallucinogen balloons with fuchsia ponchos and mutant psychedelic dogs.
To la-la-la Chinese backwards is a metamorphous process of pink bananas on paper dishes, sprinkled with gasoline and cat poop, both are great for feet massage. If you don’t understand what I am telling, you will need to sell me your credit cards, I will give you a cent, and you will return me the rest. Without fear of the lubricant plunger carpets we can consider our ears as eyes and our mouths as anus to destroy the musical ghosts, coming from the drugged and green dressed guys. Grove Street needs your car! But don’t take it out in summer, otherwise, the puppies will come and nag you with stupid advertising nonsense about anti-slipping windshield wipers to avoid Transylvania’s Avenue tough dinosaurs.
The surgeon was part of the Rolling Stones, but while his favorite Grim Reaper is still alive, he will keep peeing Coke in a corner of his psychiatric consulting room to finish being the Action Man’s lost nephew. When someone is crucified in a salmon, a horse leaves the leaf and understands that anti-psycho kangaroos are just a section of radioactive science in the nonsymmetrical mirror replaced with a very dirty backgammon set, and with saliva of Persian Minotaurs with picture cameras emerging from their eyetooths. By exploding, it will start a so confusing trophic chain so even Gordon Freeman won’t have time to eat himself with the backfeeding soap.
Are those the turquoise color penguins whose tastes better in the freezing hot hibernal spring? If petroleum disappears, urinals would go extinct by hunger and stink of their roofs, especially when they must drink from the transgenic violets’ ancient pothole. That’s why they get calm and instead of producing cow’s spermatozoids, the Predator emerges to fight with the Alien to recover his hamburger. Penis.
To avoid suicizing[edit | edit source]
Keep always handy Badabing. Bada bang. Bada Bong. Deem dam deereedeereedum. Doesn't make sense. What matters. Nothing matters. Nada realmente importa. Cualquiera puede ver. Nada realmente importa... ENGRISH PLOX!!!!
Did you know...?[edit | edit source]
- ...Ioniesco would be proud?
- ...Neither Kafka?
- ...You can be a millionaire?
- ...During the 70's the CIA persecuted the Czechoslovakian bikes manufacturers?
- ...Absurd is and absurd will be?
- ...The brown chicken are really millionaire?
- ...Jesus died by our sin$?
- ...Is unknown when a three headed monkey will stop using mini skirts with shoulder pads?
- ...The mainstream singers are secret members of absurdist lodges?
- ...The Benedictus XVI pope participated in EMOgay pride march celebrated in Amsterdam in 1946?
- ...A PockeDex is a Calvin which scrathes itself with its own dirty residuals?
- ...Mappeets plans to rule the world?
- ...Any future time was worse?
- ...Firemen eats junk food with pistachio nuts, when they aren't saving Venus from a astronomic conjunction of anarchist hemorrhoid unicorns?
- ...My friend can't believe that I wrote this section?
- ...The Night Train! Bah! Bah! ----- Bah! Bah! ----- Bah! Bah! ----- Bah! Bah! ?
- ...You don't know anything of this so we must tell it to you?
- ...If you are reading this, is because you are very crazy?
- ...Today is a good day in Plutonic Adjacent South Nine Seas?
- …n64 cartridge
Absurd phrases[edit | edit source]
- The red elder's closet gives pears when they comes out.
- Yesterday I fall from the balcony while eating aphrodisiac chestnuts. In that moment a grapefruit jumped to hyper-space and told: "I'm a red chest full of five artisans!".
- You already know it, I'm just a horse.
- We are eating dodglies to sing like a car.
- I have heresy, Shall we play the pen?
- The deep mint until earth.
- George Bush is very smart!
- I told you about 10 thousand times that I do not exaggerate.
- As I told you before, I don't repeat anything.
- Everyone loves George Bush!
- No matter how hard you insist. I won't bite your pancreas.
- A blind guy says "I see people", a deaf one says "I hear voices" and a limping one says "rather we run", so a bald guy yells "Wait! I'm just combing my long-hair!".
- My dog ate my homework. Why? Because his name is Tom and uses a top hat.
- When I was young, that wanted where I was since.
- My sofa so softly.
- Come here often?
- I want to lick my elbow, but Charles Dickens' badger intimidates me.
- If there isn't green anymore, by definition you won't have trunk.
- Better milked coffe than wars in your louse. Twelve.
- A long microphone can be if you give it beloved love.
- Grandpa! The trici-motorcycle went out flying from the oven! Is discolored yet?
- "If I get shoot, I won't return. If I get killed, I will return." AKA "Flying Mouse".
- A pipe walks, falls and gets peeled.
- I won't drink stones. But I will be attentive on eating Coca-Cola with beer.
- Don't doubt about it, I doubt on it.
- I feel intimidated when I do poo. The WC watches me mercilessly, while I shout to the mirror "Shut up Johnny!".
- Knock, Knock. Who is? I'm me. And of course was he.
- Darth Maul: "It's you!"
- Sora: "I'm me?! No way..."
- Are you mad?
- Jesus is an Ozzy Osbourne fan.
- WHAT THE HELL!? I'M NOT MAD!!
- You cannot get ye flask. Ye flask is stapled to your face which is grounded to the ceiling which is glued to a grue. Never you mind the flask...
- Never say "never".
- Vagina.
Actually, absurdity is when something makes no sense[edit | edit source]
Sorry you had to scroll all the way down here, but by now you get the idea of absurdity!
If colored red, is not a valid link[edit | edit source]
I must not exist from this foudation. They must help by deleting this.
Absurdism and absurdists in music[edit | edit source]
Artists whose ignore the purpose and/or meaning of their own songs.
- Read about My Chemical Romance. Members and Lyrics.
- Read about Panic! at the Disco. Members and Lyrics.
- Read about Black Eyed Peas. Members and Lyrics.
(Unless you believe in John Petrucci as a semi-god. Because Chuck Norris doesn't want to give his FSM place. And learned all Dream Theater songs and his parallel projects).