Jimmy Neutron
James Isaac "Jimmy" Neutron (born March 14, 1991) is an American big-headed scientist, geek, and former child actor. In the early 2000s, his claim to fame was starring in the Nickelodeon epic sci-fi film Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius and its spinoff television series The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius. He has made many contributions to the scientific community, including a useless robot dog, evil nanobots, and a homicidal clone, many of which have put his hometown (and sometimes the world) in immeasurable danger. Despite his devotion to science, he has remained loyal to his friends Carl and Sheen; he has also somehow won the heart of sadistic girl Cindy.
Jimmy is best known as the second most hideous character to have ever appeared on Nickelodeon (first place being Eliza Thornberry, who was so homely-looking that she could turn Medusa to stone).
Biography[edit | edit source]
Early life[edit | edit source]
Even as a big-headed unborn fetus, Jimmy's parents already knew he was destined to be something special. Jimmy was born in St. Luke's Hospital in Retroville, Texas, and his head was so large that it made it harder for his mother to push him out, so he was born by a cesarean section that he performed himself. Jimmy's father Hugh, a duck-and-pie obsessed bumbling fool, thought Jimmy was a girl, and initially named him "Alexis". However, after checking, he was promptly renamed "James".
Jimmy was horribly disfigured at birth. This is believed to be why his head is gigantic, but the disfigurement is actually what makes up his uncanny appearance and stumpy physique. His oversized head is actually a resultant of a massive tumor.
When Jimmy was still a toddler, he built an exo-skeletal robot armor before learning to walk. His first words were the formula for the cure to cancer, which he patented but does not produce. By preschool, he received his first government defense contract, after building an invisible stealth-bombing drone for the military to deliver the world's tiniest nuclear bomb.
Career[edit | edit source]
In 2001, Jimmy auditioned to star in the newest movie from Nickelodeon, a studio fresh off the heels of masterpieces like Good Burger and Harriet the Spy. Unfortunately, the studio rejected him after a DNA test confirmed he was a clone of a "fellow animated boy genius", and gave the part to his rival, tsundere Cindy Vortex. Always competitive and jealous of Cindy, Jimmy broke into the Nick studio, and ordered president Herb Scannell, at hypno-ray point, to give him the part, to which Scannell brainwashedly agreed to before his head exploded.
During the interim between the movie and the show, Jimmy had a brief foray into the music business. With Aaron Carter, he collaborated on two rap albums, My Science Fo' Shizzle and Go Jimmy, Jimmy, both of which flopped hopelessly and sent several million listeners into a coma.
Despite the off-the-shelf animation software used to produce it, the movie was a surprise success, prompting Nick to order a spinoff television series in 2002. This series formed the third wheel of the SpongeBob/Fairly Oddparents dominance era, wherein Nick overplayed the hell out of these same three shows and sometimes the exact same episodes in Jimmy Neutron's case, which though it gradually got boring, nevertheless earned them big ratings. However, by 2006, Jimmy's hypno-ray ran out of battery; thus, he got put out of business, and Nick took his staff to work on a CGI show about talking farm animals.
Personality[edit | edit source]
Despite being ten years old and in elementary school, Jimmy in fact possesses a 12th level intellect, thus explaining his tendency to act like a smug know-it-all around his chronological peers. He did go to college once, but after accidentally unleashing unstable molecules from the negative zone and causing the whole school to burn to the ground, he was expelled.
Jimmy has a dog named Goddard, who is mechanical, as Jimmy is so reclusive that he couldn't handle raising a real dog and he got run over by a car while playing in the street; from that day forth he swore he'd replace the roads with the flying car. Jimmy removed Goddard's head once his dog was legally dead and no longer subject to animal cruelty laws, than grafted his brain and circulatory cells to a series of microchips that he uses as graphics processors for his gaming rig: the modern man's best friend.
Jimmy also has two friends in school: Carl Wheezer, a severely sensitive anti-everything freak who loves llamas and Jimmy's mom, and has near-death experiences from touching anything; and Sheen Estevez, a hyperactive Hispanic who is obsessed with collecting Ultralord action figures. Sheen has proven to be the most entertaining character on the show; in fact he's the only entertaining character on the show. His girlfriend, Libby, is of Egyptian heritage, and plans to conquer the music industry as Princess Funkenstein; Sheen will sit by her side as her loyal Slave 4 U. Jimmy is also friends with Timmy Turner, a 2D average kid from Dimmsdale, California. Unfortunately for Jimmy, Cindy dumps him for Timmy at one point.
Jimmy's most infamous relationship was a love-hate one with Cindy Vortex, a part-time dominatrix young girl addicted to sadism. Jimmy was disgusted by her frighteningly stalker-like actions, as well as her abusive ways — yet at the same time, felt strangely attracted to them. In the final episode of the series, the two kiss, followed by Cindy beating Jimmy mercilessly, hitting him on the back of the head with a shovel, and burying him underground. Jimmy's ex-girlfriend was Betty Quinlan, the popular girl at school. At first, he just dated her because she was attractive and popular, but then he just got sick of her, realizing how dumb she really was. Like one time, they were supposed to meet at a restaurant for a date, but Betty found her way into a sewer instead.
Science lessons[edit | edit source]
Jimmy prides himself on teaching valuable and completely accurate scientific lessons to other children, including:
- Australia isn't a continent.
- Snakes live in packs.
- Thomas Edison invented electricity.
- A vaccine can be created for a viral infection by extracting the virus's mitochondrion.
- Egyptian hieroghlypics are written in Sanskrit.
- Hamsters are high in HDL (high-density lipoprotein) cholesterol.
- Chinese ginseng is a muscle relaxant.
- People can never change because their personality is imprinted on their brain at birth due to immutable genetic and environmental determinism.
- The Cretaceous period ended 200 million years ago.