User:Ryan Woo-Ming

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

“Snowball's chance in hell”

~ spider on violoncelli

“Why does my life suck so much?”

~ knife on ASPLODEd

“wtf sp4wn c4mp1n nub”

~ Banzaikitten on Mafia (disambiguation)

“What do you use to hoe a row, slay a foe, and wring with woe? FUCKING FUCKFUCKER!!!”

~ Cat the Colourful on fatter

“Just when you think you have it bug free bug free bug free bug free...”

~ Oscar Wilde on encyclopediae

“Never resting, never still. Moving silently from hill to hill. It does not walk, run or trot, All is cool where it is not. What is it?”

~ Oscar Wilde on pantry

“POLACK”

~ Oscar Wilde on Procrastination

“A very pretty thing am I, fluttering in the pale-blue sky. Delicate, fragile on the wing, indeed I am a pretty thing. What am I? I AM CORNHOLIO!!!!”

~ Oscar Wilde on zooms

“Oscar Wilde”

“Presbyterian”

~ Presbyterian on Schweinehund

“Apr.”

~ Oscar Wilde on optimizes

“In Soviet Russia, escape pod oscillates YOU!!”

Clippy.gif

Behold the random image! IF YOU DARE!

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to Jerry Jackson.

Click here to go to my Pee Review page.

What I do and don't speak[edit | edit source]

This user is a native speaker of English.
This user is a native speaker of Engrish.
This user does not speak Español and believes it to be an embarrassment to language. Furthermore, this user desires the genocide of all Español speakers.
This user does not understand 日本語 (or understands it with considerable difficulties).
This user speaks MediaWiki at a near-native level.
typo-0 This user does not understand Typo and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
This user wishes they were elite.

I am...[edit | edit source]

No Wikipedia.png
This user does not have a user page at Wikipedia because they think that they take things way too seriously over there.
No Wikipedia.png
18+
This user is an adult, and thus may or may not know what fun is.
18+
♂
This user is a boy and is made of trucks, trains, and airplanes.
♂
Dexter.jpg
This user is right-handed.
In Latin, they would be Dexter.
Dexter.jpg
MO adorabl.jpg
This user is adorable.
MO adorabl.jpg
Geek.jpg
This user is a geek.
Geek.jpg
Domokunyellownbackground.jpg
This user is a grue, and while you were reading this, has eaten you. Start over?
Domokunyellownbackground.jpg
United States
This user is American
…and unabashedly proud of it!
(List of American Uncyclopedians)
United States
Exquisite-kfm home.png This user prefers to play games on a PC as anything else is too complex.



My favorite foods and drinks[edit | edit source]

Cthulhu.jpg
This user has a fondness for Calamari.
Cthulhu.jpg
Oh, so tasty.
Yes, I would like fries with that.
Oh, so tasty.
Buzz Blob.jpg
This user likes Jam. A lot.
Buzz Blob.jpg
M&Ms.png
This user eats M & M's.
M&Ms.png
Spaghetti.jpg
This user loves pasta.
Spaghetti.jpg
Youmadewin0ry.jpg
This user completely enjoys pie because it is awesome.
Youmadewin0ry.jpg
Milk glass.jpg
This user drinks so much milk, their bones can cut diamonds.
Milk glass.jpg
H20
This user drinks water.
H20

My gaming interests and IQ[edit | edit source]

Xbox2.jpg This user is addicted to video games. PlayStation Logos.jpg


Mario-lo-res.jpg
This user is a Gamer and therefore creepy.
Mario-lo-res.jpg
DIFF E This user plays Video Games on the lowest difficulty setting available as winning makes them feel good about themselves.
DIFF M This user plays Video Games on the default difficulty setting as they simply aren't good enough.
LV-1 This user considers themselves a n00b gamer and so probably doesn't know what 'noob' means.
LV-2 This user considers themselves an intermediate gamer and so probably has some sort of social life.
LV-3 This user considers themself an advanced gamer and so probably lost their job recently.
RealMario.jpg
This user likes Super Mario.
Rougehead.gif
This user is winking at you because they think you have gold coins. Give them your gold coins, okay?
Rougehead.gif
Tetris kick ass.png This user kicks butt at Tetяis: not that that's anything to be proud of.
451px-Wii Wiimotea.png
This user is a Nintendo fan.
451px-Wii Wiimotea.png
Wii U.png
This user plays the Wii U and thought it was the “new controller”. Probably.
Wii U.png

What I use[edit | edit source]

Windows logo - 2021.svg
This user uses Windows because they can't get enough of your lover.
Windows logo - 2021.svg
Chromelogo.png
This user uses Google Chrome, because it's GOOGLE.
Chromelogo.png
Uncyclopedia-paint.png This user's primary source of artwork is MS Paint.

My other interests[edit | edit source]

Elmo pissed.jpg
This user was brought to you by the letters XXX and the number π.
Elmo pissed.jpg
Cat03.jpg
This user owns by one or more cats just so they can keep an eye on them.
Cat03.jpg
Dalmatian b 01.jpg
This user owns one or more dogs as they need a cover for their stick fetish.
Dalmatian b 01.jpg
XD
This user is interested in comedy, and may enjoy writing or performing it.
XD
Crystalball.png
This user can see what you don't!
Crystalball.png
Drowning.jpg
This user is a swimmer.
Drowning.jpg

Other stuff related to me[edit | edit source]

Towel migration.jpg
This user knows the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything.
Towel migration.jpg
Wikipedia-logo.png
This user doesn't trust Wikipedia as far as they can throw it… but nonetheless use it on a daily basis.
Wikipedia-logo.png
Flag of California-small.png


This user is from California,


and brags about the nice weather.


After all, earthquakes aren't weather.
Jsay.JPG
TheJeeMan.jpg
Hire a teenager while they still know it all.
Now don't forget to eat my body and drink my blood on Sunday, little ones! ;)
This page has way too many templates. You can help by hunting down the template user and beating him with a video card.

Redundant[edit | edit source]

CaptobviousChooseOption.gif
“This is a template”
– Captain Obvious
usbx
This user likes to create userboxes.
usbx
Color
This user likes random colored userboxes.
Color
Crystal Clear app kcmdf.png
This user likes to use redundant userboxes.
Crystal Clear app kcmdf.png
Eeek!
This user steals userboxes from random people's user pages.
Eeek!
!
This user is an idiot who steals userboxes.
!
usbx
This user likes to use userboxes.
usbx
lots of
This user has lots of userboxes.
lots of

Irreverent[edit | edit source]

AAAA AAAA AAAAAA AAAAAAAAA!
Exploding-head.gif
This user's head A SPLODE.
Exploding-head.gif
DramaticQuestionMark.png
This user is the random flaccid milk that suffocated their anus inside of your miscellanious dead things so you must mercilessly stir them with a sugar cookie which may or may not contain crack.
DramaticQuestionMark.png
cCbBaA
.gnilleps drawkcab segaruocne resu sihT
cCbBaA
—
This space for rent.
—
bu-0 This user does not speak Bullet and may result in injury if does so.
Falling rocks.gif Watch for Falling Rocks.
Oops no web copy.JPG
This user does not know how to shot web.
Oops no web copy.JPG
Ihasashuvel.jpg
This user gots a shovel.
Yes they does.
Ihasashuvel.jpg


INTERMISSION-THIS ARTICLE IS BORING!

Nuvola apps important blue.svg
"Beware of flesh-eating bovines"
Devour their flesh before they devour yours!
Correction: you had two cows.

“Geez Homer, I thought someone with two cows would be happy." "No, you're thinking of someone with two knives.”

~ Lenny Leonard and Carl Carlson on Homer Simpson having two cows

You have two cows is the ultimate philosophical truth. All categories except Category Nine (How mooriginal) may contain contributions from the Internet as well as Uncyclopedians. Mathematical proof that you have two cows lies in moometric identity:

This mathematical proof can also be written with the second moometric identity:

Where Moo is the universal moometric constant.

A longstanding tradition of mathematics is discovering new truths pertaining to two-cow ownership. Currently, 45,893 45,894 45,895 45,896 45,897 45,898 45,899 45,900 are known.[1]

A related but much more difficult problem is the identification of philosophical truths involving the ownership of three cows. An infinite number of these is also expected to exist, although this is unproven. To date, very few three-cow truths are known to exist, all of which have yet to be proven. In coming years this problem is expected to become much more important, as Microsoft has announced that the next version of Windows[2] will require users to have three cows, or, alternatively, two overmilked ones. Linux however needs only a pint of milk, but you need to deliver it through the command prompt with the use of four pipes, an awk and a sed.

Uncyclopedia presents: the You have two cows anthology!

Twocows.jpg

1. Analysis
2. Anime
3. Bovine Quotes
4. Cowmedy
5. Emootions
6. Endings
7. Famous Cows
8. Groups

9. This cow does not exist
10. In the Moos
11. Language of Cows
12. Literature
13. Moosical Moovements
14. Moovies
15. Non-Video Games
16. People

17. Politicowl Junk
18. Programming Languages
19. Religion
20. Software 'n Such
21. Sound of Moo-sic
22. Television
23. Travel
24. Video Games

24.2. Video Games Volume 2
24.3. Video Games Volume 3
25. World and Web of Cows
26. You Have n Cows
27. Science
28. Moodicine
29. Game Consoles
30. Game Genres

31. Capitalism

“Do not try to understand what the two cows are saying. That's impossible. Instead, you must try to realize the truth: there are no cows. Then you will see that it is not the cows that moo, but only yourself.”

~ The Matrix on You have two cows

Related articles[edit | edit source]

Bouncywikilogo.gif
For the uncouth among us who choose lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about ... more.

External links[edit | edit source]

References[edit | edit source]

  1. ↑ Nostradamus demonstrated in 1555 that the total number of two-cow truths is infinite.
  2. ↑ Ibid.
$$$ Capitalism $$$
Ideologies
Major Events
Capitalist Pigs
Greedy Theories
Instruments
Evil Institutions
Dirty rotten filthy stinking rich transparent.png
Potatohead aqua.png
Featured Article (read another featured article)
Featured version: 9 June 2005
This article has been featured on the front page. You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.Template:FA/09 June 2005Template:FA/2005Template:FQ/09 June 2005Template:FQ/2005

‏ ‏ ‏

‏


We now return to our regularly scheduled jokes, already in progress....

Zork Memories (The Zork Backstage Pass!!!)[edit | edit source]

Zorkw.png
The Zork Trilogy:
Zork, Zork 2, Zork 3


Zork
This user edits the Zork trilogy.
Zork

My Trophies[edit | edit source]

Z
Z
Z2
This user has united the Golden Egg of Arkora and beaten Zork 2: Gruel and Unusual Punishment.
Z2
Z3
This user has saved the Beautiful Princess Rosemary and beaten Zork 3: The Dungeon Master.
Z3

Recent changes to Zork 1[edit | edit source]

TopicLast EditLast Author
Zork/xyzzy16:10, 16 September 2025Alula
Zork06:10, 19 June 2025TheCriticalGeneral
Zork/heaven/gate21:11, 1 June 2025CartoonosaurusRex
Wizards of Power MMORPG15:42, 27 May 2025Fenris2010
Zork3/win!!!12:46, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork/vs.thepenquincheat112:45, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/fre56srgtr712:45, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/revolution12:23, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork/codemastervshercII11:43, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork/ladder2111:39, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork/ladder1811:39, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork/ladder1111:39, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork/ladder1911:38, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork/ladder1511:38, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork/ladder1311:38, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork/ladder1211:38, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork/Glitch city 2/Exit11:21, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
UnVerse/road209:55, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork2/grue01:47, 7 January 202565.92.68.131
Zork/Underworld66600:47, 29 December 2024DaniPine3
UnVerse/superstitioustownxyzzy02:44, 1 August 2024Fenris2010
UnVerse/Ur-Grue602:34, 1 August 2024Fenris2010
UnVerse/Ur-Grue520:41, 31 July 2024Fenris2010
UnVerse/Ur-Grue420:38, 31 July 2024Fenris2010
UnVerse/Ur-Grue317:14, 29 July 2024Fenris2010
UnVerse/Ur-Grue202:43, 29 July 2024Fenris2010
UnVerse/Ur-Grue101:24, 28 July 2024Fenris2010
UnVerse/repeat21:04, 27 July 2024Fenris2010
UnVerse/Ur-Gruego21:03, 27 July 2024Fenris2010
UnVerse/Ur-Gruexyzzy01:13, 27 July 2024Fenris2010
UnVerse/Ur-Grueoldman01:05, 27 July 2024Fenris2010
UnVerse/Ur-Gruequest00:11, 26 July 2024Fenris2010
UnVerse/Ur-Gruegun23:57, 25 July 2024Fenris2010
UnVerse/Zorkyard01:14, 25 July 2024Fenris2010
UnVerse/zorknorth23:25, 24 July 2024Fenris2010
UnVerse/Ur-Grue03:08, 24 July 2024Fenris2010
UnVerse/zorkgruestats03:03, 24 July 2024Fenris2010
UnVerse/zorkcomplain17:41, 23 July 2024Fenris2010
UnVerse/vortexcastle00:36, 22 July 2024Fenris2010
UnVerse/vortex22:03, 21 July 2024Fenris2010
UnVerse/terminator rex/inventory21:03, 14 July 2024Fenris2010
UnVerse/terminator rex20:59, 14 July 2024Fenris2010
UnVerse/pvparena20:46, 14 July 2024Fenris2010
UnVerse/sovietrussia22:32, 13 July 2024Fenris2010
Zork/loser16:43, 29 February 2024Grapehater
Zork/Statiogrue15:37, 20 February 2024Grapehater
Zork/finalbattleattack101:34, 16 June 20232601:681:5A00:EF30:F853:EB65:2A8B:776C
Zork/lab701:47, 6 January 2023Ryan Woo-Ming
Zork/byebyegrues22:39, 4 January 2023Ryan Woo-Ming
Zork/xyzzycar21:50, 2 January 2023Ryan Woo-Ming

Recent changes to Zork 2[edit | edit source]

TopicLast EditLast Author
Zork2/CH2Bates/mechabattle1 516:20, 15 October 2025Turb0-Sunrise
Zork2/CH3gruefeciologist19:59, 17 September 2025Alula
Zork222:41, 29 September 2024Fenris2010
Zork2/CH1voldemort/earlyfight6 101:32, 16 June 20232601:681:5A00:EF30:F853:EB65:2A8B:776C
Zork2/CH4gruebot/maze3600:58, 11 January 2023Ryan Woo-Ming
Zork2/CH4XSlose23:45, 10 January 2023Ryan Woo-Ming
Zork2/zetournament/junior1 114:28, 19 November 20222600:4040:12DC:FF00:9972:C590:E6BC:22C4
Zork2/restoresecret02:50, 13 August 2022Username
Zork2/restore302:47, 13 August 2022Username
Zork2/restore202:47, 13 August 2022Username
Zork2/restore02:47, 13 August 2022Username
Zork2/win!!!02:47, 13 August 2022Username
Zork2/Win???02:45, 13 August 2022Username
Zork2/43258329890200:27, 24 August 2021DeletedUser51be906d
Zork2/Buttonagain00:27, 24 August 2021DeletedUser51be906d
Zork2/CH3oprah/alliance1000:27, 24 August 2021DeletedUser51be906d
Zork2/CH4conclusion00:27, 24 August 2021DeletedUser51be906d
Zork2/maze55/rutabega/salmon/safety00:26, 24 August 2021DeletedUser51be906d
Zork2/4maze8900:53, 10 December 202070.171.111.82
Zork2/CH4library21:01, 12 November 2020EzekielMartin
Zork2/CH3FARK16:05, 5 September 2020Gale5050
Zork2/A protal to get the hell out of hell22:25, 3 September 2020Zombiebaron
Zork2/23154674585610:58, 29 August 2020118.10.82.175
Zork2/A piece of pie11:12, 26 August 2020118.10.82.175
Zork2/4maze9715:52, 24 August 2020Whytheonlyone
Zork2/45461623743220:40, 9 August 2020Whytheonlyone
Zork2/45461625978220:40, 9 August 2020Whytheonlyone
Zork2/45465098743220:40, 9 August 2020Whytheonlyone
Zork2/4maze6920:40, 9 August 2020Whytheonlyone
Zork2/4maze7920:39, 9 August 2020Whytheonlyone
Zork2/4maze8820:39, 9 August 2020Whytheonlyone
Zork2/A piece of cake09:02, 27 June 2020Dexter111344
Zork2/CH3oprah/alliance4209:02, 27 June 2020Dexter111344
Zork2/CH4gruebot/maze6909:02, 27 June 2020Dexter111344
Zork2/CH4gruebot/maze7709:01, 27 June 2020Dexter111344
Zork2/locked09:01, 27 June 2020Dexter111344
Zork2/Put the brush back on the ground where you found it09:01, 27 June 2020Dexter111344
Zork2/1cheat/Angerthewalrus09:01, 27 June 2020Dexter111344
Zork2/maze3422:20, 4 April 202099.149.232.31
Zork2/CH4voldemort/dodge16:07, 27 June 2019174.223.131.218
Zork2/morezorkception03:06, 20 June 2019Zdrmonster128
Zork2/test1wrong217:30, 2 March 2018209.221.91.250
Zork2/GrueSlayerBattle1 215:52, 11 February 2014209.221.90.250
Zork2/slayerdeath19:41, 7 May 2013174.138.212.172
Zork2/GrueSlayerBattle2 119:39, 7 May 2013174.138.212.172
Zork2/geteaten19:37, 7 May 2013174.138.212.172
Zork2/GrueSlayerBattle1 319:36, 7 May 2013174.138.212.172
Zork2/CH2Bates/secfight2 706:12, 7 February 2013MadMax
Zork2/xyzzy15:33, 2 December 2012198.91.203.145
Zork2/CH3oprah/alliance24/materia04:44, 30 September 201298.237.141.25

Recent changes to Zork 3[edit | edit source]

TopicLast EditLast Author
Zork3/Crinjas12:46, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/therapist312:45, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/cloudfight412:45, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/Fuckgarmmar12:45, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/Higher212:45, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/dark212:45, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/walrus12:45, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/cheesecake712:45, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/ekaceseehc on12:45, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/cheesecake212:45, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/admineatgrues12:45, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/??????????????12:45, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/To bad12:45, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/?????12:45, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/down12:45, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/gruewsc12:45, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/gruehellfr12:45, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/Gruehellfr12:45, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/gruesarcasm12:45, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/sumchuck12:44, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/cloudfight12312:44, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/Ur-GrueFight5 5 5 312:44, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/Ur-Grue/GrueSlayer2 3 212:44, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/cloudloss12:44, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/cloudfight12112:44, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/cloudfight212:44, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/cloudfight512:44, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/Die12:44, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/File 312:44, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/File 212:44, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/killedmjrocket12:44, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/SecretEnding Floodaga12:44, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/Ur-Grue/GrueSlayer2 3 712:44, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/SecretEnding Thundaga12:44, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/ShootDeath12:44, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/DeathMoney12:44, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/chickens are cool!12:44, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/AdventureToilet5 5 212:44, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/uselight12:44, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/killmenow12:44, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/hobo12:44, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/SecretEnding RunAway12:43, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/activus/paleguy12:43, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/activus/thinguy12:43, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/Secrettoilet312:43, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/activus/fatwoman12:43, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/Secrettoilet412:43, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/SecretEnding Blizzaga12:43, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/SecretEnding PowerUp!12:43, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r
Zork3/activuscastle112:43, 2 April 2025L10nM4st3r

My other favorite featured articles from the 1st 10 years of Uncyclopedia, in chronological order[edit | edit source]

2005... (The year that started it all!)[edit | edit source]

2006... (The Golden Year of Uncyclopedia)[edit | edit source]

2007... (The Other Golden Year of Uncyclopedia)[edit | edit source]

2008... (The Pun Invasion et al. BEEP was also my favorite.)[edit | edit source]

2009... (The Microsoft Knowledge Base article's funny here.)[edit | edit source]

2010... (I'd call this the Dark Age except for Chatroulette and these other articles.)[edit | edit source]

2011... (The return to true Uncyclopedia humor even for the 2012 phenomenon...)[edit | edit source]

2012... (Another pretty crappy year.)[edit | edit source]

2013... (The year when Uncyclopedia moved away from Wikia for the 1st time.)[edit | edit source]

2014... (The last best year of Uncyclopedia humor.)[edit | edit source]

Retrieved from "https://en.uncyclopedia.co/w/index.php?title=User:Ryan_Woo-Ming&oldid=6448450"