User:Ryan Woo-Ming

“Early to bed and early to rise makes it a very long day.”

– Politoed on Papercuts of Doom

“The man who made it doesn't want it. The man who bought it doesn't need it. The man who needs it doesn't know it. What is it?”

– a Yagudo on rim licker

“FUCKING A”

– Danny Fishcharge on books

“I make you weak at the worst of all times. I keep you safe, I keep you fine. I make your hands sweat, and your heart grow cold, I visit the weak, but seldom the bold. What am I? SECOND BALLS!!!”

– Hillary Clinton on to refill

“dulce bellum inexpertis”

– Oscar Wilde on blenders

“Give me food, and I will live; give me water, and I will die. What am I?”

– Oscar Wilde on bikinis

“TITMOUSE”

– Oscar Wilde on fanfics

“Where will you find roads without cars, forests without trees and cities without houses? User:Ryan Woo-Ming ON WHEELS!!!”

– Oscar Wilde on nulla poena sine lege

“Oscar Wilde”

– Oscar Wilde on Oscar Wilde

“Agnostic”

– Abraham Lincoln on Hayley Derrick

“Multiplayer Tetris Skill”

– Oscar Wilde on Just because.

“In Soviet Russia, dogma balkanizes YOU!!”

– Russian reversal on Avril Lavigne

Welcome to Ryan Woo-Ming's userpage!

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to Bellossom.

Click here to go to my Pee Review page.

What I do and don't speak

en N

This user is a native speaker of English.

en N

enr N

This user is a native speaker of Engrish.

enr N

es G

This user does not speak Español and believes it to be an embarrassment to language. Furthermore, this user desires the genocide of all Español speakers.

es G

ja 0

This user does not understand 日本語 (or understands it with considerable difficulties).

ja 0

MW 4

This user speaks MediaWiki at a near-native level.

MW 4

typo-0

This user does not understand Typo and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.

1337

This user wishes they were elite.

1337

I am...

This user does not have a user page at Wikipedia because they think that they take things way too seriously over there.

18+

This user is an adult, and thus may or may not know what fun is.

18+

♂

This user is a boy and is made of trucks, trains, and airplanes.

♂

This user is right-handed. In Latin, they would be Dexter.

This user is adorable.

This user is a geek.

This user is a grue, and while you were reading this, has eaten you. Start over?

This user is American …and unabashedly proud of it! (List of American Uncyclopedians)

This user prefers to play games on a PC as anything else is too complex.

My favorite foods and drinks

This user has a fondness for Calamari.

This user would like fries with that.

This user likes Jam. A lot.

This user eats M & M's.

This user loves pasta.

This user completely enjoys pie because it is awesome.

This user drinks so much milk, their bones can cut diamonds.

This user drinks water.

I will work for food.

My gaming interests and IQ

This user is a Gamer and therefore creepy.

DIFF E

This user plays Video Games on the lowest difficulty setting available as winning makes them feel good about themselves.

DIFF M

This user plays Video Games on the default difficulty setting as they simply aren't good enough.

LV-1	This user considers themselves a n00b gamer and so probably doesn't know what 'noob' means.

LV-2	This user considers themselves an intermediate gamer and so probably has some sort of social life.

LV-3	This user considers themself an advanced gamer and so probably lost their job recently.

This user likes Super Mario.

This user is winking at you because they think you have gold coins. Give them your gold coins, okay?

This user kicks butt at Tetяis: not that that's anything to be proud of.

This user is a Nintendo fan.

This user plays the Wii U and thought it was the “new controller”. Probably.

What I use

This user uses Windows because they can't get enough of your lover.

This user uses Google Chrome, because it's Google.

This user's primary source of artwork is Microsoft Paint.

My other interests

This user was brought to you by the letters XXX and the number 7+2i.

This user owns by one or more cats just so they can keep an eye on them.

This user owns one or more dogs as they need a cover for their stick fetish.

XD

This user is interested in comedy, and may enjoy writing or performing it.

XD

This user can see what you don't!

This user is a swimmer.

Other stuff related to me

This user knows the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything.

This user doesn't trust Wikipedia as far as they can throw it… but nonetheless use it on a daily basis.

This user is from California,


and brags about the nice weather.


After all, earthquakes aren't weather.

Redundant

usbx

This user likes to create userboxes.

usbx

Color

This user likes random colored userboxes.

Color

This user likes to use redundant userboxes.

Eeek!

This user steals userboxes from random people's user pages.

Eeek!

!

This user is an idiot who steals userboxes.

!

usbx

This user likes to use userboxes.

usbx

lots of

This user has lots of userboxes.

lots of

Irreverent

AAAAAAAAA!

AAAA AAAA AAAAAA AAAAAAAAA!

AAAAAAAAA!

This user's head A SPLODE.

This user is the random oblivious statue that optimized their taint inside of your hub caps so you must haphazardly disintegrate them with an aerodynamics.

cCbBaA

.gnilleps drawkcab segaruocne resu sihT

cCbBaA

—

This space for rent.

—

bu-0	This user does not speak Bullet and may result in injury if does so.

This user does not know how to shot web.

This user gots a shovel. Yes they does.

 

Zork Memories (The Zork Backstage Pass!!!)

Zork

This user edits the Zork trilogy.

Zork

My Trophies

Z

This user has found the Twenty Treasures of Zork and beaten Zork: The Great Underground Empire.

Z

Z2

This user has united the Golden Egg of Arkora and beaten Zork 2: Gruel and Unusual Punishment.

Z2

Z3

This user has saved the Beautiful Princess Rosemary and beaten Zork 3: The Dungeon Master.

Z3

Recent changes to Zork 1

<forum> namespace=Game category=Zork shownamespace=false addlasteditor=true historylink=true count=100 bgcolor="#FFFFFF"

</forum>

Topic	Last Edit	Last Author

Recent changes to Zork 2

<forum> namespace=Game category=Zork 2 shownamespace=false addlasteditor=true historylink=true count=100 bgcolor="#FFFFFF"

</forum>

Topic	Last Edit	Last Author

Recent changes to Zork 3

<forum> namespace=Game category=Zork 3 shownamespace=false addlasteditor=true historylink=true count=100 bgcolor="#FFFFFF"

</forum>

Topic	Last Edit	Last Author

My other favorite featured articles from the 1st 10 years of Uncyclopedia, in chronological order

2005... (The year that started it all!)

• All Your Base Are Belong To Us/Example on wheels! (3/25/05)
• RTFM (3/28/05)
• Pong! the Movie (4/20/05)
• Lie (4/26/05)
• English-American Dictionary (5/19/05)
• The Oldest Trick in the Book (5/27/05)
• Idiotic Table of the Elements (6/2/05)
• Aesop's Fables (6/24/05)
• Greatest Inventions (6/30/05)
• Banned from the Internet (7/3/05)
• Banana Phone (7/23/05)
• Raccoon Tail v. Super Mario Cape (8/14/05)
• List of weapons that don't exist, but should (8/31/05)
• iPod Nano 200gb Instructions (9/29/05)
• Missing milk (10/2/05)
• Redundancy (10/11/05)
• Crimes inspired by video games (10/15/05)
• AAAAAAAAA! (10/21/05)
• -- --- .-. ... . / -.-. --- -.. . (10/29/05)
• Alternate Universes I Seriously Hope Do Not Actually Exist (10/31/05)
• IPod yocto (12/12/05)

2006... (The Golden Year of Uncyclopedia)

• Alternative medicine (1/1/06)
• Alliteration (1/8/06)
• VCR Manual (2/5/06)
• Writer's block (3/3/06)
• Do NOT click any links! (4/3/06)
• Insert title here (5/6/06)
• UnBooks:Adventure gamebook (6/7/06)
• Calvin and Hobbes (6/23/06)
• UnBooks:See Dick (6/29/06)
• Super Smash Bros.: Xtreme Beach Volleyball (7/3/06)
• Speech to text software (7/9/06)
• Grue (7/11/06)
• Command Line (7/17/06)
• Universal Remote Control Everything 3000 (7/25/06)
• Adobe Potatochop (8/2/06)
• Pixellated Face Disease (9/3/06)
• Lost in Translation (9/5/06)
• Disneyland (9/21/06)
• UnBooks:Horton Hires a Ho (10/14/06)
• Double Ristretto Venti Half-Soy Nonfat Decaf Organic Chocolate Brownie Iced Vanilla Double-Shot Gingerbread Frappuccino Extra Hot With Foam Whipped Cream Upside Down Double Blended, One Sweet'N Low and One Nutrasweet, and Ice (11/13/06)
• Total Fucking Asshole Server 2006 (11/27/06)
• Internet Movie Database (12/7/06)
• 001 (12/11/06)
• HowTo:Cheat At Scrabble (12/13/06)
• Garfield (12/22/06)
• IQ:Sample test (12/31/06)

2007... (The Other Golden Year of Uncyclopedia)

• My Journeys with the GPS (1/8/07)
• Me (1/15/07)
• AAA (1/26/07)
• List of one letter words starting with A (2/11/07)
• You Are Dead (2/13/07)
• Google Middle Earth (2/17/07)
• Movie Trailer Announcer Guy (3/4/07)
• HowTo:Cook While Drunk (3/6/07)
• HowTo:Cut Your Own Head Off With a Chainsaw (3/10/07)
• Dyslexia (3/14/07)
• Grue's Clues (3/24/07)
• Ye Olde Webbe Desyne Shoppe (4/3/07)
• Grand Theft Audio (5/15/07)
• A Visit with your Psychopathic Grandmother (7/3/07)
• UnBooks:Employee Manual (8/3/07)
• HowTo:Play Russian Roulette (8/5/07)
• UnGames:Pick Up the Phone Booth and Aisle (8/15/07)
• Blue Screen of Death (8/23/07)
• Why?:Remove Your Penis (9/3/07)
• UnScripts:Dora the Explorer: The Movie (9/12/07)
• Mental illness (10/8/07)
• UnScripts:Emergency Room (12/19/07)
• Why?:Stick Things in the Electrical Outlet (12/26/07)

2008... (The Pun Invasion et al. BEEP was also my favorite.)

• UnBooks:Life as a 4⅝ Year Old (2/25/08)
• Please delete this page (3/19/08)
• G Rated Talking Animal Movie (4/5/08)
• UnBooks:The Last Little Pig (4/7/08)
• The Daily Show (4/30/08)
• UnBooks:A Day In The Life Of A Redirect (7/10/08)
• UnScripts:Genesis, Episode II: In the Garden of Eden (7/31/08)
• UnBooks:Beep (8/10/08)
• Playstation 4 (8/17/08)
• UnBooks:Captain's Blog (8/27/08)
• The Pun Invasion of Uncyclopedia (9/11/08)
• HowTo:Drive a train (9/16/08)
• The Incredible Adventures of MS PAINTMAN! (9/19/08)
• Are you colour-blind? (9/24/08)
• UnBooks:An Uncyc Ban Diary (10/13/08)
• Michael Bay (11/13/08)

2009... (The Microsoft Knowledge Base article's funny here.)

• Billy Mays (1/22/09)
• Elevator (2/13/09)
• Drill sergeant (3/26/09)
• Trogdor the Burninator (4/21/09)
• History of Google (5/6/09)
• HowTo:Build the Perfect Sandcastle (5/7/09)
• UnBooks:Great Abridged Pop Songs (6/24/09)
• LazyTown (7/16/09)
• Yellow (8/1/09)
• UnScripts:Star Wars (2010) (8/17/09)
• UnScripts:Pixar: An Introduction for Uncyclopedians (8/30/09)
• The Asylum-Seeker's Guide to Visiting McDonald's (10/12/09)
• Samuel L. Vacuum (10/13/09)
• Microsoft Knowledge Base (11/25/09)
• UnBooks:Gone Fishing (11/29/09)
• The Pirate Bay (11/30/09)
• Your estimate of how long to reheat the lasagna (12/25/09)

2010... (I'd call this the Dark Age except for Chatroulette and these other articles.)

• HowTo:Handle Flashing Your Vagina in Public (2/28/10)
• Lateral thinking puzzle (3/16/10)
• McDonland (3/17/10)
• A wizard did it (4/28/10)
• You're Screwed (5/2/10)
• Chatroulette (5/14/10)
• Hello there! I'm a kite, and I will ruin your day! (6/18/10)
• HowTo:Survive the Titanic (7/11/10)
• Traffic sign (8/6/10)

2011... (The return to true Uncyclopedia humor even for the 2012 phenomenon...)

• God's answering service (1/13/11)
• UnBooks:Let's take a walk in the city! (1/30/11)
• Blockbuster (2/14/11)
• BabyTV (2/20/11)
• Why?:Categorise pages (4/22/11)
• Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying, Sit Down and Relax for a Bit, Try and Read or Something, Maybe Eat a Cheese Sandwich, and Basically Do Anything Other Than Obsessively Think About Being Obliterated in a Massive Nuclear Explosion (4/23/11)
• Milton Babbitt (4/26/11)
• 2012 phenomenon (5/31/11)
• Ice cream truck (6/16/11)
• Visual puns (6/23/11)
• Inbox (7/3/11)
• Hypnotist (7/15/11)
• Unobtanium (8/12/11)
• Why?:IPs can't edit the main page (8/16/11)
• Negative potato (8/17/11)
• UnTunes:Uncyclopedia Didn't Start The Fire (9/22/11)
• Subliminal stimuli (10/3/11)
• Pac-Man (walkthrough) (10/25/11)
• HowTo:Milk a Cow (11/6/11)

2012... (Another pretty crappy year.)

• UnBooks:My Tedious Day (1/13/12)
• God's userpage (2/19/12)
• UnReviews:Milk (4/14/12)
• 0.999... (7/4/12)
• Twitter (8/23/12)
• Snips, snails and puppy dog tails (8/28/12)
• Disney (9/4/12)
• Why?:Your cat died (12/13/12)

2013... (The year when Uncyclopedia moved away from Wikia for the 1st time.)

• I want a cookie (1/17/13)
• Get-rich-quick scheme (4/2/13)
• Snakes on a Plane (4/12/13)
• Don't judge a book by its cover (4/29/13)
• 9-11 according to a 5 year old (7/4/13)
• HowTo:Wash the Dishes (7/10/13)
• Katy Perry Hit Generator (7/28/13)
• Constitution of the United States (actual text) (9/4/13)
• Why?:Revert the administrators (9/10/13)
• You don't want to know (9/17/13)
• Cafeteria food (9/20/13)
• Vader v. Vader (9/21/13)
• Twm (10/17/13)
• Why?:My homework was late (11/15/13)
• Page title (11/30/13)
• HowTo:Know if you're right brained or left brained (12/5/13)
• Homework (12/16/13)

2014... (The last best year of Uncyclopedia humor.)

• UnBooks:My school day (1/15/14)
• Content-free (1/19/14)
• The Speck of Dust Next to My Keyboard (2/2/14)
• This is not an article (4/26/14)
• Why?:We Can't Have Nice Things (5/16/14)
• Bread machine (6/13/14)
• F4 (8/19/14)
• UnDebate:What does the fox say? (8/26/14)
• HowTo:Repair a broken smartphone (8/31/14)