“MediaWiki is the worst wiki software, except all those other wikis that have been tried from time to time.”
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Introducing MediaWiki. The internet-based collaboration technology that allows journalists, biographers, and other "writing professionals" to fabricate truths with greater ease and under shorter deadlines than ever before.
Write What You Know
Whether you can't get your subject to commit to an interview, don't have enough lead time to do in-depth research, or are just too lazy to even Google, MediaWiki can help. Why spend countless hours gathering data and checking facts when you can write what you already know. Or, what you think you know. After all, it's true. Probably.
The Power of Many™
As we all know, no-one knows everything, but everyone knows something. Many someones know a lot of somethings, and thousands of someones know almost everything, you know. Or did you? We know. But even if you don't (or didn't), it doesn't matter. You don't have to, because other people do (or did). That's the power of many.
The Power of Free Software™
Safety in Numbers
Question: With some reporters being threatened with imprisonment for refusing to reveal their sources, and others being fired after allegations that they completely made up entire stories, what is the future of journalism? Answer: MediaWiki. MediaWiki's complex and patented WikiWeb of Trust™ ensures that no single writer is responsible for the total content of any document, and each writer serves at the source of other writers. They can't imprison/fire/sue you all. Let them try.
Free to Try
Unfriendly with Uncyclopedia
We are annoyed with our ruthless n00b shogun so much that we want a new bakufu. Quick, overthrow Wikipedia or else we will commit seppuku! You don't want us to cut our stomachs, right? Then attack now!!!
- Buzzwords from our marketing department. Don't even think about copyrighting it, because we already did that. Screw the Creative Commons license. We'll see you in court.
- Literally, "people who profess to write".
- Lying may be wrong, and possibly illegal even with that much bandied-about "freedom of the press" thing. Consult a lawyer before publishing anything that you possibly completely made up by accident.
- Delivered in 30 minutes or less, or it's free.*
- As we don't actually know you personally, we're in no position to vouch for the scope of your knowledge, or the integrity of your character. So, you may not be truthful, and we won't be held legally responsible if you are found out to be a complete liar. And we also won't let you try to pin it on us that we told you that you were without-a-doubt telling the truth.
- See? We're off the hook.
- Don't kid yourself. Even Plato (427-347 BC) admitted 'The only thing I know is that I know nothing'.
- Specifically, the gas mileage of a Sherman Tank and the turn-on-a-dime handling of a Sherman Tank. Not the robustness or firepower, sorry.
- Don't interpret this as legal advice. We're just some cubicle-imprisoned schmoes trying to push our software.
- Literally, "the blind leading the blind".
- Excludes Microsoft.
- Excludes Microsoft.
- As in freedom, not beer.
- Not on the first date.
- In the non-biblical sense. Or not. Your choice really, but play safe — always use protection.
* Just kidding.