License

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“OK, listen here, I don't care that you may have to go and spend $5,000 on MANY different copies of software, when you can just use one copy! I just want your money! Gimmie your money or I will have to SUE you! ”

~ Typical EULA on Defending the rights of copyright owners. Angering the public into violating the agreement

“In Soviet Russia, EULA Violate YOU! ”

~ Russian reversal on The above quote

“By reading any text in this article, you agree not to say anything bad about license agreements, or say anything in reverse”

~ The EULA in the first quote on Not liking criticism OR Russian Reversials.

“WE WILL SAY AS MANY BAD THINGS ABOUT THE EULAS AS WE WANT! YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER US! WE CAN DO IT IF WE WANT! NOW, GET OFF MY SCREEN BEFORE I SEND MY CREW AFTER ALL YOUR EMPLOYEES, AND YOUR PUMPKIN PIE!”

~ The Pirate Bay on Violating the agreement above

“Termination: If you come so close as even think about violating these terms, you shall destroy all copies of the software and then go kill your neighbor's donkey|”

~ The EULA in the above quotes on Crack

A License is a synonym for very long text. Another synonym for license is legalese or lawyer-readable code. It is usually required you read every last bit of it, although invariably people will check the checkmark and click Next.

Types of License

Related is the open license, which posits that whenever someone read the whole text, it has to split up (fork) and double in size. Fortunately this does not happen very often, and the only reported incidents involve lawyers reading their own creation, or so we're told.

There are a great many different forms of license, also known as license forms. For examples see Examples.

Etymology

The origins of the word license are not well understood, nor is their intended use. It is believed to derive from the French 'lice sans', meaning without lice. When a coatmaker asked you if you wanted lice with that, you'd reply you'd rather have a lice sans, at which time you'd be served a piece of paper warranting the coat to be lice free. This is of course mere speculation.

The plural of license is lebanese. There are also a fair share of licenses, although almost no licenses for fair sharing. This of course is subject to a lot of debate, and is best discussed as its own topic (see: Pirates).

To make matters worse license can be a verb depending on its usage. Uncyclopedia, for example, will license this patent nonsense to you gladly if you sacrifice a mutant stargoat, on a slightly overcast Monday, chanting the Dr. Who theme backwards. If this is illegal in your particular locality, or mutant stargoats are hard to come by, you may alternatively adhere to the Creative Commons license of their choosing.

License Examples

Software-free Licences

• GNU GPL
• BSD License

Content-free Licences

• GFDL
• CC-BY-SA

Other types of Licenses

• Artistic license
• Driver's License
• TV License
• License to kill

LAW & ORDER