Reasonable doubt

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There is reasonable doubt that this won't arouse you.
Tell that to my grandfather, bitch!


For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Reasonable doubt.

Reasonable doubt is a trait of disbelief with reason behind it. Being reasonable, there is doubt that this concept is a subcategory of some category other than logic. The concept of logic, however, is absent in the recent generation. It is usually heard as a legal term, where it describes what the defense must prove if their defendant is white and what the defense cannot prove if their client is a minority.

Examples of reasonable doubt

  1. If Johnny tells Scott that he punched a police officer, killed him, and then went on to get candy from the government, Scott would most likely doubt that with the conclusion being if Johnny killed someone, he would only be arrested. However, if Scott happens to be retarded, there is reasonable doubt that Scott will notice this and will be fooled.
  2. If Patrick Star shows his nude butt on an episode of Spongebob Squarepants, there is reasonable doubt that Nickelodeon will decline the airing of that particular episode, because the talking starfish has mooned the audience before on multiple occasions.

Reasonable certainty

It is possible for a reasonable certainty to on the effect side of a cause-and-effect chain, with the cause being reasonable doubt. For example:

If Richie masturbates in public, there is reasonable doubt that he'll still have friends. If Richie then decides to kill himself, there is reasonable certainty that nobody will care, let alone notice.

The same applies the other way around:

If Brenda tells Emily that she totally made out with Jake, there is reasonable certainty that the whole entire high school will be aware of this by tomorrow. Brenda will then end up killing herself soon after, and there is reasonable doubt that someone will care, let alone feel sorry for Brenda. Jake is an ugly fuck.


In some cases, reasonable certainty and reasonable doubt will disagree with each other. This is referred to as "obliviousness". When one reaches the state of obliviousness, they often claim "I don't know". Consider these examples:

  1. If Lisa's mom tells Lisa that she has met menopause, and Lisa is absent of proof, reasonable doubt and reasonable certainty will intertwine and negate each other. Lisa then meets the state of obliviousness, and says "Good for you mom, tell that at parties" and walks away.
  2. If Josiah walks out of his house, goes to the neighbors' house and informs them that he just recently dropped a giant, bulky, slimy green shit that clogged his toilet, the neighbors most likely will not know if he is lying or telling the truth. The neighbors suffer from both obliviousness and ten seconds wasted from their lives that they won't get back.

See also

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