Girl Code is a set of rules which are designed to help females attract men. It deals with female rivalry, how to break up with men, and how to get men to like you. It also dispels myths about female-male interaction. It is just what is needed to counter false propaganda which exists on the internet and in misandrist publications such as Cosmo and the Rules.
The Real Rules[edit | edit source]
Here are the real rules when it comes to male-female attraction;
- Look hot.
- Be clean, this is another important trait. Nothing turns off a man faster than bad teeth, bad breath, body odour, dirty underwear, or a smelly snatch. Bathe daily and shower before your man goes down on you.
- Don't talk about your sexual history. Guys don't want to hear about the last guy who pounded you with his 10 inch sausage. Even if you've had a lot of partners, keep that information to yourself. If a man asks you take the total number and divide it by three. Round down.
- Don't belittle other women, it just shows what a bitch you are.
- Agree with everything your man says, men like to be right.
- Invite your sexy best friend in bed with you and your man.
- Don't nag.
- Make sure you have sex with your man at least once a day (preferably 2 to 3 times).
- Stroke his ego (as well as his cock), although guys act big and bad, most are insecure and need their fragile egos boosted once in awhile.
- If you like a guy but the guy likes your best friend instead, deal with it, she's probably hotter and thats why he picked her instead. If it still bothers you get ugly friends, then you're the prettiest.
- Alternatively, if you really really like the guy, suggest a threesome with your friend, yourself and him. Even though he likes the other girl more, you will still get pounded with his sausage and he won't resent you for it.
- Maintain a healthy body weight, and no this doesn't mean weigh 90 pounds and look like some anorexic crack whore. Contrary to media propaganda, men don't like walking skeletons. Make sure you have some nice tits and a nice ass, curves are good. No rolls though, no one likes a fattie.
- If you are unable to have sex with your man because you are on the rag, make sure you suck his dick instead.
- Don't try to control your man, if you do, he'll just leave you for your better looking friends
- Tell your man how big his dick is, even if he has a millimeter peter.
- Tell him how great he is in bed, even if he's terrible.
How to attract and KEEP your man[edit | edit source]
- Pay attention to all of the above.
What kind of guy to attract[edit | edit source]
Basically men fall into three categories; jocks/tough guys, normal guys, and spineless, pussy-whipped wimps. Because of your primal lust, you desire the first category more but they are also the hardest to please. Many women settle on normal guys because they offer a good balance of fulfilling lust and looking after emotional needs. Wimps are just like girlfriends, they look after your emotional needs but the idea of sex with them is creepy. Unfortunately for you the easiest guys to get are also the most repulsive. So what is a girl to do? You have several options at your disposal;
- Date the jerk/bad boy/jock but prepare to be treated like shit. He'll drive you wild with desire but will leave you crying. I know its hard because you've been wired since the Stone Age to lust for this type of guy but remember, this isn't Pleistocene Africa where you are attracted to the biggest, meanest, motherfucker with a club. It's the 21st Century world. Your urges are archaic, its just going to take another 2 million years for them to catch up to our current culture (by which time we will have destroyed ourselves).
- Date the normal guy. This is the most sensible option. Especially if that guy is around 5'11'', 160 pounds, dark hair, and in his early 20s, but I digress. These types of guys aren't as exciting as bad boys but they can still satisfy your primal urges. They will not make you cry or feel like a piece of shit. They can comfort you when you are feeling down but not in a girly way like the wimps. Wimps make you like them as a "friend" but make the idea of sex with them repulsive. Normal guys aren't too hard to please (as long as you don't nag and follow most of the above rules, especially the first three) and they know how to show a lady a good time. This is the largest segment of men and represents about 70% of all guys.
- Date the girly-man wimp. The least attractive option but may be the only one for some girls (i.e. the ugly ones). Although the idea of sex with these types of guys is repulsive, wimps do have some benefits. These are probably the only type of guy who will do whatever you want. Whether you are looking to have your house cleaned out, a free night out to dinner or the movies, or some expensive jewelery; wimps will always be there. Desperate for your love and attention, they will do almost anything to please you. Also in time, insecure and weak wimps can become normal guys if you are willing to train them (although the success rate is only around 30%). Because wimps are so unappealing, there is also the benefit of not having to worry about other women stealing your boyfriend. There are some risks with wimps though; if you are ugly and turn the wimp into a normal guy, he will probably leave you for someone better. The other risk is that if you dump him he may turn into a stalker. This group of guys has an almost exclusive monopoly on stalking (although the bad boys do it sometimes too just to prove a point). While dating these types of guys do carry some financial and emotional benefits, the lack of sexual desire and the stalker potential make dating wimps a risky venture.
How to Break Up With a Man[edit | edit source]
Ok girls, has someone better come along, has your man turned into an insecure wimp (or more likely has he stopped hiding his insecurity, few men turn into wimps), or does your man just keep cheating on you and you've had enough. Whatever the reason, Girl Code offers you guilt free and ethical ways to get rid of your man faster than the last line disappears at an all night coke bender. Here are some simple rules to help you break up with your man;
- Introduce him to your sexier best friend. This is the surest way to break up with your man because it will more than likely make him want to break up with you. If he dumps you, you get what you want plus no one gets hurt feelings.
- Move to another city and tell him you have to because of a new job or college. Most men don't have the sexual control to engage in long term relationships and he'll be banging someone else before autumn turns to winter (more likely before the weekend ends).
- Go out to bars with him, seeing him with another women will make him attractive to other girls. This will increase the chances that he will fall for someone else. It is at this time that you can make your exit.
See Also[edit | edit source]