Shrooms

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“None the less it is a drug and too much can kill you.”

~ George W. Bush on Shrooms

“Drugs are good, man......look at all the pretty colors!”

~ Hippies on a psychadelic so called "dream"

Magic Mushrooms, or simply 'shrooms, are a common hallucinogenic drug. It is known to have no negative side effects at all, in fact being beneficial in some cases, causing a power-up, or giving you the inspiration to write a book for the Bible.


These mushrooms will make you stronger, but give you the urge to stamp on things... excessive consumption may give you the impression that you can throw fire with your hands

Effects[edit]

Shrooms are a very strange drug. Shortly after eating them you will start seeing things that aren't real. Everything will become very cartoonish and gay looking. You will start imaging that you are a short fat plumber, and you will walk around screaming " It's a me, Mario." You will also think that for some reason you have to rescue a princess that got captured by a giant horny turtle. You may also start eating things off of the ground for no logical reason, like flowers and leafs and and stuff that you will think will give some sort of magical power. You may also start stomping on people's head and calling them Goombas. You will also start thinking you have a dumb-ass brother named Luigi who is inferrior to you in every way. Oh and you might also think that for some reason you are riding on a little green dinosaur thingy that you call Yoshi. But when you wake up you will find out that none of that was real

an screenshot of an Shrooms trip
FUCKHEAD Dave Chapelle NO NO NO MY LITTLE PONY SHOULD NOT RAPE!!!!!!!!!

]

I've always wanted to walk on the moon... SHEET this ent the moon? AAAAAAAHHHH an Oompa-Loompa
HATE HATE HAT!! i pwn doz hapi monstas de got haXX0rred!!! PRICK WTF SORRIIIII 'DICK' NA STP I DNT /\/\33n T0 KILL UR M0NSTA FR3ND!!!!

Being on shrooms sounds like this [1]

Toxicity[edit]

If you weigh 60kg, About 1.5kg dried Psilocybe cubensis will probably kill you, as they absorb water, swell and cause your stomach to explode, covering your friends in blood and intestines.(See video below...) Anyone nearby risks injury from bone fragments etc. If you have a very very very large stomach, eating 15kg will cause your mind to implode and possibly destroy the universe.

I think I ate too many mushrooms...

Terrors[edit]

While high you may experience terrors, these can be terrifying and dangerous, here is a typical scene in which three characters experience terrors for the first time. (Click here to get some more hilarious results!)

Person 1: VAGINA... DID YOU HEAR THAT... ITS THE FUCKING POLICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dave Chapelle: SHIT DUDE... THROW ALL OUR SHIT OUT THE WINDOW

Person 1: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU

Dave Chapelle: I'M an Oompa-Loompa I RAPE YOUR gastrointestinal sphincter FOR A LIVING

Person 1: ARE YOU IN MY HEAD

Dave Chapelle: YES...

Person 1: BUTTFUCKER GET an Oompa-Loompa OUTTA MY HEAD

*bangs head on wall*

Person 2: ASSHAT WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING ??!!

Person 1: GOTTA GET an Oompa-Loompa OUTTA MY HEAD

Person 2: BULLSHIT Dave Chapelle an Oompa-Loompa! WHERE IS IT

Person 1: IN MY HEAD!!!!!!!!!!

Person 2: HOSER LET ME GET IT OUT

*picks up pick axe*

Person 1: SHIT DUDE

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring, banana phone, Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding, donana phone

Person 3: HOLY FUCK! BANANA PHONE DON'T TOUCH ME

Person 2: BUT HOW ARE WE GONNA GET an Oompa-Loompa OUTTA YOUR HEAD?

Person 1: GIMME THE PICK AXE I'LL DO IT MYSELF

Person 2: DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME I'LL GET BANANA PHONES

Person 3: Hey guys, I'm an orange, I've peeled myself, who wants to eat me?

Person 2: Fuck an Oompa-Loompa lets eat him

Person 1: What about the police?

Person 2: DIRTY SANCHEZ THE POLICE!

Person 1: THROW YOURSELVES OUT THE WINDOW

Person 3: No way, not until you eat me

Person 2: Okay, lets eat him, then crack your head open, then jump out the window.

Person 1: He tastes good...

Person 2: DICK IN A BOX HE'S DEAD!

Person 1: DOUCHEBAG WE'RE CANNIBALS!

Dave Chapelle: I'm not...

Person 1: FUCK OFF RANDOM VOICE

Person 2: WHY THE SAMUEL L. JACKSON ARE YOU TELLING ME TO FUCK OFF?

Person 1: COCK I WAS TALKING TO an Oompa-Loompa

Person 2: RAGHEAD ARE YOU CALLING ME an Oompa-Loompa

*embeds spork in person 1's head*

Person 2: SHITPISSER HOLY DUMB FUCK BITCH THE POLICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Jumps out of window*

Aftermath[edit]

Person 2 survived the fall, but thought that he was being senselessly froze by a dongle employed by Dave Chapelle as a rock god. He promptly froze a spork into his DNA killing him instantly. The police never found his body... But all that is irrelevant, because that little conversation was so poorly written and impossible to follow that I'm sure everyone just skipped to the aftermath like me.

THATS WHY DRUGS ARE BAD[edit]

I lied, they are very good, but don't be so senseless like the n00bs in that story

fact: taking shroom will inevitably cause your genitals to grow to an enormous size and give you the urge to take it in the ass from a panda bear

Shrooms can be very fun if used with the right person for example, If a conservative christian were to eat mushrooms he most likely would see Jesus and start to think it was the rapture in which case he will go to hell as anyone with those types of ethics belongs in hell. However if you are more of a mindset of acceptance of other people then as a giant rainbow fish floats out of your friends mouth as he babbles about something stupid instead of being freaked you most likely will be happy you don't need to here your stupid friend talk about stupid shit and will be much more pleased watching the fish swim around the room until it breaks your T.V.

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